Daniel Thomas Vol 4

Dracula Burger - Mouse

2012-01-30T21:25:00.000-06:00

Alright, I think I'm going to have to kick Dracula Burger out of The Ghibli Blog, and post them here at Vol 4. Why? Because hardly anybody reads this site, that's why. Which means no complaints. So I'll continue to post the remaining comic strips that are "in the can," and then decide what I want to do about it.

For anyone who visits Daniel Thomas Vol 4, my deepest thanks. I've been working hard on Ghibli Blog lately, but I intend to be publishing more Vinyl LP and Video Game posts here. I've been slacking on both fronts, so I should do a better job. Also, I'm starting to get some tip money on the other site, which kind of motivates me to work harder. Once the tempo here picks up, I may add a Donate button here, too. We'll see what happens.

I still think these comics are funny. Sigh.

Dracula Burger - Worm

2012-01-27T02:19:00.000-06:00

I think you need the mindset (and humor) of a seven-year-old to laugh at these Dracula jokes. But absurdity and silliness for its own sake is something that I cherish. In the right state of mind, I'll be laughing hysterically. Heck, the whole notion of Count Dracula eating hamburgers is hilarious. And I enjoy the idea of bringing old-school sensibility to today's internet meme comics.

Dracula Burger - Manners

2012-01-25T00:50:00.002-06:00

Okay, I've caved in and decided to post Dracula Eats a Burger comics on both blogs. This way, I can get them out faster, while I've still got the coffee-and-sugar-fueled sillies. I've just been in a strangely childish, Calvin and Hobbes sort of mood this week. Might as well go with it.

In case you haven't seen these comics on The Ghibli Blog, this comes from an obscure and laughably bad 1980 Toei made-for-TV anime movie called, "Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned." It may be the single worst cartoon ever made, and just about the funniest. It's certainly the most absurd. It's definitely worth tracking down just to see Count Dracula a) mug Brat Pitt and Gwenneth Paltro and steal their wallets, and b) walk into "Sandwich King" (wink wink) and order a burger.

In any case, the image of Dracula chomping down cheeseburgers captured the imagination of my inner seven-year-old, so I'm in a rush to create as many goofy comic strips as I can before my adult brain reasserts control. I hope I get a Hollywood movie deal outta this.

Today is SOPA Blackout Day!

2012-01-18T13:52:00.000-06:00

As I'm sure you already know, today is the day for the mass online protest against the SOPA bill working its way through Congress. This legislation, the creation of the MPAA, would give government and private industry the power to censor, block, or shut down any website suspected of "piracy" or "copyright infringement." Since the internet is based on sharing and connectivity of media, this pretty much makes the World Wide Web itself a suspect.

This is a disastrous piece of legislation, propped up by dinosaur industries and the authoritarian-minded politicians in their pockets. This is a profound threat to our liberties and our way of life. It's very simple. If SOPA passes, sites like The Ghibli Blog can be shut down. Hell, Youtube, Facebook, Reddit and Twitter can be shut down. SOPA could also be used as a tool of political suppression. People who criticize the government, or the ruling political party, could be shut down. Websites that embarrass politicians could be shut down. Do no doubt that these scenarios could happen. Expect it.

Call your members of Congress and demand that they stop this reckless assault on our rights. SOPA does nothing to stop online "piracy," and you know it. It will only be used by the powerful to beat down their rivals and their critics.

Call the Congressional Switchboard now -- (202) 224-3121. Then call again. Keep the pressure up!

The Return of the Sony Biotracer

2012-01-18T02:41:00.000-06:00

I've been in a funk over the state of my stereo system lately. The sound has been terrible - muddy, distorted, low-res, nnothing worthy of the LP medium. I sold off some components, junked the turntable (a Sony PS-X5 that I've often liked or hated, but never loved), and tried to figure out where everything went wrong. It became so dire that I openly considered abandoning vinyl records altogether, and going back, at long last, to Compact Discs.

Then I discover something miraculous this week - a couple CDs of "needle drop" recordings from my beloved Sony PS-X75 Biotracer turntable from three years ago. The table was paired with a fiery red Dynavector 10x5, a Pro-Ject Tube Box II phono preamp with a pair of Mullard vacuum tubes, and the Marantz 2235b stereo receiver (now my only remaining component). And the sound was exhilarating, punchy, clear, deep, richly textured, full of color.

It's funny how one can forget these things. I had already realized that I was lost, musically-speaking. I was trading around in low-to-mid-fi audio gear on the cheap, never coming close to the former highs. I had forgotten what the high end sounded like. Now I have my lost recordings and I'm quickly remembering things. Now I have my purpose again - I have to get my stereo system back! The PS-X75 Biotracer! The vacuum tubes! The high-resolution analog sound! This is where the LP truly becomes master of its domain.

It's fascinating to see this "vinyl revival" emerge, as many people remember the wonderful music they lost, and many people discovering it for the first time. It's fun to see LP sales quadruple in four years, to nearly 4 million albums in 2011 in the US, while CD continues its endless slide into extinction. I think that's largely because I like to root for underdogs.

A lot of people interested in vinyl records want to know, is it better than CD? Is it worth getting a turntable and pulling out all those old LPs? Well, yes, it is worth getting a turntable and spinning some records. There's something magical about the experience, about the ritual, about the sound of smooth vinyl against a phonograph needle and lively, rich tones coming out of speakers. As to who wins the fight, LP versus CD, that's a little bit trickier. And the bottom line is that it's going to cost you. There's no getting around that fact.

On the LP-CD fight, I'd say compact disc wins at the budget or entry level. At $500, they become more or less equal. At $1,000, vinyl LP blazes away. And I'm talking the price of your entire system: turntable, phono cartridge, phono preamp, and amp. The vintage market is a gold mine if you know what to look for, but don't let nostalgia blind you; most of those old turntables on Craigslist and eBay are junk. The true classics - Technics, JVC, Pioneer, Kenwood, Sony - are worth the effort to discover.

Long story short: LP still kicks, you'll have to pay real money to find that out, it's totally worth the effort. Start saving your pennies. Oh, and enjoy the Youtube video of my old Sony Biotracer in action. You have to get one of these turntables.

Stop Crushing Your Music!

2011-11-07T02:19:00.001-06:00

I cannot fathom what is wrong with the geniuses in the music industry who conceived of the Loudness Wars. It's what you get when corporate idiocy collides with rock-star egos, who also just happen to be deaf. I know! Let's hyper-compress and crush our music to death! Then people will get ear fatigue and stop listening to our songs...and then...profit? The collapse of CDs can't be blamed solely on internet downloading.

I know the topic of the Loudness Wars has been harped on endlessly, so I'll keep this little sermon short by presenting a couple of waveforms as examples. The first waveform is my needledrop recording of John Coltrane's Sun Ship LP. I recorded with a peak volume of -3dB, which means three decibels below the maximum volume of the CD format. The second waveform is Megadeth's "Public Enemy No.1," from their newly-released CD, Thirteen.

It's pretty hard to appreciate music when it's literally crushed into a cube. And there's really no reason for it. It's especially frustrating because so many musicians and bands have recorded amazing-sounding music in decades past. For example, I've finally heard some vinyl recordings ("needledrops") of Megadeth's 1990 LP, Rust in Peace, and it sounds amazing - loud, crunchy guitars, a fully three-dimensional sound, solid vocals. It's really a jazz fusion album, in case anyone bothered to notice, and it shames today's brick-walled wrecks.

And Coltrane, well he's God's Gift to Mankind. Everything Trane recorded was miraculous. Wouldn't we all like to go back to that? Return to music that is recorded and mastered properly? Hi-fi music...what a concept!

Namco's Go Vacation for Nintendo Wii

2011-09-27T13:57:00.000-05:00

Hey, the Nintendo Wii actually gets a good video game this year! Remember the Wii? It was extremely popular at one time. Then Nintendo got bored and quit.

Ahem, heh heh. Anyway, here's Namco's Go Vacation, by the makers of Family Ski and Snowboard. I've had my eye on this title for some time, and it's looking terrific. Yes, I know, I know, this appears to be yet another mini-game collection, for a console swamped with lazy, get-the-investors-off-our-back mini-game collections. But Namco is dead serious. They're gunning for Wii Sport Resort's crown.

The game features dozens of sporting events centered around a large island, which you are free to explore on land, sea or air. Four players can participate at once, although I'm not entirely certain if they can play different activities (which would be cool). Right now, my guess is that everyone has to play together, and that's perfectly fine by me.

This highlight reel shows a number of events in Go Vacation, like horseback riding and whitewater rafting. As I mentioned earlier, this is the same software team responsible for Family Ski and Snowboard, which is one of the more enjoyable family games on the Wii. Thank goodness that we can always trust Namco to deliver the goods. Now, if we could only get them to apologize for abandoning the Sega Dreamcast - where's my Tekken, ya jerks?!

Ni no Kuni (PS3) Videos at Tokyo Game Show

2011-09-25T14:50:00.000-05:00

At The Ghibli Blog, I promised to show more gameplay videos of Ni no Kuni from the Tokyo Game Show, and these two videos are absolutely perfect, and quite lengthy, too. I'm interested in hearing your impressions.

The game follows the old school RPG formula, with a few interesting wrinkles like day/night. When I see that, I'm obviously thinking of Minecraft. Will players have to battle monsters at night? That would be cool. I wonder if I could chop down those trees and build a house? Yeah, then I could build a train station and lay down some tracks, so I can get to....ah, whoops, wrong game.

The combat looks very interesting. This is an area where RPG game mechanics haven't changed in 25 years. It appears that instead of directly fighting, your characters can send pets who will do the fighting for you. Shades of Pokemon, but also the great Phantasy Star Online, and it does raise a lot of possibilities. Will you have to train your pet? Can they be bred and grown? Can they evolve into new forms? I think this could be the key element that could enable Ni no Kuni to break out from a very old and tired genre.

Yes, I know that Ni no Kuni has already been released for the Nintendo DS in Japan, but I haven't seen it, so I'm choosing to follow the PS3 version as a new video game. I'm looking forward to the surprises. Until then, I have Saturn, Dreamcast and Minecraft to keep me happy. But, hey, that's me. Enjoy the videos!

Happy Sega Dreamcast Day!

2011-09-09T14:17:00.001-05:00

Happy Sega Dreamcast Day, everybody! On September 9, 1999 (9-9-99), Sega released the Dreamcast in the United States to a massively successful launch and rapturous welcome. It appeared, for a short time, that Sega was back on top after years of self-inflicted wounds crippled the company. Sadly, it would not last, and only 18 months later, Sega would exit the video game hardware business. Sega and video games have never been the same ever since.

I remember September 9 perfectly. I was working at my college job, waiting tables at the Dinkytown Pizza Hut, and when business was slow, I had one of the delivery drivers take us down to the nearest Target. I purchased a Dreamcast, a second controller, a Virtual Memory Unit (these were cool), and a stack of games. Which ones? Let's see...Soul Calibur, NFL 2K, Ready 2 Rumble Boxing, Hydro Thunder and Trickstyle. All games were fantastic, except for Trickstyle, which was a clunky, half-completed mess. I later returned it for Sonic Adventure.

Today, the Dreamcast is hailed as a classic, arguably the last true arcade videogames system. The game industry was pushing relentlessly into the domain of cinematic games, all in a mad pursuit of becoming Digital Hollywood. Add in an absurd amount of Playstation 2 hype (to this day, I still say DC was better), and the king-maker status of EA, and Sega was just not able to staunch the bleeding from years of financial mismanagement. It's really unfortunate, and you just wish there was a little more time.

I am a bit surprised to see that Dreamcast never really took off in Japan. Perhaps it was too similar to the Saturn, which was far more successful over there. Heck, Sega infamously killed off the Saturn version of Virtua Fighter 3, which was completed and headed to the pressing plants, because it was superior to Genki's somewhat lackluster DC version. And while the library of games was stellar, it really wasn't that much different from the Saturn, especially where shoot-em-ups and fighters were concerned. Also, I'm sure the Sony hype was just as deafening in Japan as in the West.

In any case, you can score a good-as-new Dreamcast and a stack of fantastic games like Soul Calibur and NFL 2K1 for the price of a single $60 retail video game today. That is a bargain, my friends. Enjoy!

Sega Saturn Shooter Roundtable Vol I

2011-08-16T01:32:00.004-05:00

Instead of writing single posts for every Sega Saturn title that grabs my attention, I've decided that I should group several short reviews together in a single post, so that we can speed through the system's extensive video game library more quickly. For this installment, we'll look at five titles from Saturn's most popular genre - arcade shoot-em-ups!

Dodonpachi - Cave for Saturn - 10/10

Oh, Yeehhhh! Dodonpachi, Cave's manic, bullet-hell masterpiece. The heaviest, loudest, fastest, most intense shoot-em-up ever created. It's such a wild ride, so gloriously and insanely over-the-top, so wildly colorful and luminous. This is the video game equivalent of Red Bull and Jolt Cola. And it's just about the most exciting game ever made for the Sega Saturn.

I don't even think you conquer or master Dodonpachi so much as survive. The very act of cheating death is a massive rush. How the heck did I escape that?! Literally every pixel on the screen is moving, flashing, firing, or exploding. And you're always caught in smack in the middle. This feels like a video game that begins where all the other shmups ended, and instead of retreading the same ancient cliches of the genre, cranks all the dials to maximum, gleefully reveling in the beauty of pure chaos.

One thing I appreciate about Dodonpachi is how it discards the worn out cliche of collecting power-up icons, trying to chase down wandering goodies without being blown to pieces. Most shmups use the same weapons, anyway, so what's the point? Better to give you all the weapons you need at the onset, and build up from that. The weapons are luminous, brightly colored, and explode enemy tanks and spaceships with a highly satisfying crash. It's akin to the sound of breaking glass, and there's that destructive glee of smashing for smashing's sake, as though you were set loose in a glassware shop and allowed to wreak havoc. Of course, in this case, the glassware can fire back in equal number. This is a fair fight, my friends.

On the Sega Saturn, the shoot-em-up kings are Radiant Silvergun and Soukyugurentai. That's the near-universal consensus. Just after that, I would rank Batsugun, Battle Garegga, and Dodonpachi. I think Batsugun is the pioneer, the revolutionary, and it has the best music. And I think Garegga is the most technically accomplished title, and the best Saturn conversion. But DDP is the most fun. Pick this up for your Saturn, play in Tate mode, and just lie down on the couch and have a blast.

I see that Apple's iPod is now getting support from Cave, including the latest Dodanpachi sequel. If that isn't proof of a sea change in the video game world, kids, you aren't paying attention. Interesting times.

Donpachi - Cave for Saturn - 4/10

Dodonpachi on the Saturn is spectacular. Its predecessor, Donpatchi, on the other hand....royally sucks.

Cave's first arcade title was a solid arcade shooter that sat at a moment of transition from Batsugun to DDP. It's a very solid game, definitely a lot of fun in the arcades and on MAME. But the design team was definitely recoiling from the death of Toaplan and still deciding which new direction to follow. Think of Led Zeppelin III - a very solid album, but sandwiched between two rock masterpieces. It's pretty much the same thing here.

Anyway, that's not my problem with the Saturn conversion of Donpachi. My problem is that it's a shoddy piece of programming. Remember all those crummy first-generation 3D Saturn games? Yeah...kind of like that. The game is plagued by terrible slowdown, is hampered with needless and excessive loading times, and...I honestly cannot explain this one...the voice samples as scratchy. "Sega Genesis" scratchy. Wha--?! And have I mentioned the painfully slow loading times?

I tried a few rounds, but soon quit in frustration. I'm not going to tolerate incompetence when there are so many great shmups on this system. I really can't explain why this Donpachi port is so shoddy. Heck, even Dodonpachi wasn't perfect (the explosions are strangely pixelated), which tells me that somebody was asleep at the switch. There was no excuse for this. Don't worry about it, don't waste your time. You have dozens of quality shooters available on Saturn. And I've already sung the praises of DDP. So let's move on.

In the Hunt - SIMS (and Irem) for Saturn - 4/10

In the Hunt is another shoddy conversion of a solid arcade game. In this case, it's a side-scrolling submarine shooter that is, essentially, a test run for Metal Slug - both games created by the same development team. The graphics are nearly identical, that same tightly woven graphics, heavy on the details and animations, and massive explosions everywhere. Only the humor is missing. Overall, a very good arcade game.

The Saturn version, as I've said, is shoddy. Duties were handed off to SIMS, who clearly didn't have the chops to program for Sega's famously complicated beast. Graphics are perfect, but the slowdown...ugh, did I say "slowdown?" I meant "sssslooooooowwwwww doooooooowwwwwwwwwnnnnn." The entire game just chugs and gasps and drags for air. It's like watching a chain smoker try to run. Maybe you can somehow get through this and slog on through, and if so, good for you. I tried my best and I couldn't. Life is too short to be stuck on the couch playing broken video games.

So, yeah, I'm starting to remember why the Playstation kicked Saturn's can. The PSX version of In the Hunt is far superior, too. Good Jorb, losers!

Kyukyoku Tiger 2 Plus - Takumi for Saturn - 4/10

I'm going to get all the bad reviews out of the way. And this leads me to Kyukyoku Tiger 2 Plus, which is a real disappointment. I really wanted to like this one. This is, in fact, the sequel to one of my all-time favorite arcade games, Twin Cobra. Twin Cobra, to my eyes, has always been the definitive Toaplan shoot-em-up. It's a military-themed combat game from the days when every video game wanted to be Rambo, and live out that 1980s American fantasy of re-fighting (and winning) the Vietnam War. So, yeah, this was basically unresolved national trauma repackaged as pop entertainment. With lots of cool guns and tanks and explosions.

There have been countless arcade shooters where you fly through jungles and shoot tanks and copters, but no one did it better than Twin Cobra. It's the game that turned me into a diehard Toaplan fan, and that devotion was cemented on later shmup classics like Truxton, Fire Shark, and Batsugun. When Toaplan went bankrupt, it lived on through its children - Cave, Raizing, Takumi, and Gazelle. Kyukyoku Tiger 2 was actually in production at Toaplan when the company went under, and Takumi was allowed to finish the game and release it in the arcades under their own label.

I'm actually glad Toaplan never released this game; they went out on top with Batsugun, and KT2 would have been a terrible final bow, like The Beatles' Let It Be following after Abbey Road. Actually, yeah, that's the perfect analogy. This is Toaplan's Let It Be. It's a clunky, unattractive, poorly designed video game, it fails on all fronts, and I'm left wondering how the masters of a genre could be sooo clumsy. KT2 plays out like a list of all my shmup peeves - your aircraft is too bulky, too slow, the weapons are too weak, power-ups are too ineffective, level design is flat and uninspired.

KT2 plays nothing like Twin Cobra. Even the graphics are weaker than the original, aside from some nifty scaling effects. Of all the Toaplan-related games on the Saturn (and I include the Children of Toaplan), this is by far the weakest.

Guardian Force - Success for Saturn - 8/10

Now we'll turn around and look at another hidden gem in the Saturn library. Guardian Force comes to us courtesy of Success, the folks responsible for the Cotton series (including two excellent Saturn entries). This game gets overlooked in favor of the big name shooters, but I think it's a unique spin on the well-worn genre and a terrific video game. This is one of my favorite Saturn shmups.

Guardian Force begins as yet another vertical-scrolling shooter, but the rules soon bend and morph, and you find yourself in what can only be described as "omni-directional." Your vehicle is a tank with a rotating turret, and the game designers take this idea and run wild with it. Instead of squaring off against a boss vehicle in a typical standoff, you are often expected to move, rotate, dodge and escape all around the screen. As levels progress, obstacles and enemies arise from all directions, and the screen will suddenly begin scrolling horizontally or even diagonally. I can't even remember a single shooter that scrolled at angles.

For some reason, I'm reminded of Namco's arcade classic, Assault, one of the greatest tank games ever made. Obviously, I'm also reminded of SNK's many military-themed action games like Iron Tank and Ikari Warriors and Guerilla War. Oh, and let's not forget Atari Games' Vindicators, especially on the graphics. The cool neon colors scheme is impressive, helps to stand out, evokes a cool, futuristic landscape that stands apart from the crowded pack of Saturn shooters.

Guardian Force is fast and fluid, is always challenging, full of surprises, and looks terrific on your television screen. I'm really having a lot of fun with this one, and I think you'll have a lot of fun, too.

Bulk Slash - Sega Saturn

2011-08-10T02:42:00.000-05:00

Bulk Slash is a 3D robot arcade shoot-em-up for Sega Saturn that feels like the classic 2D shooters of the 16-bit era, fused with the 3D platforming paradigm of Super Mario 64. It's fast and smooth, sharp and clear, brightly colored, packed with futuristic cities and tanks and robots and massive explosions. Here is a game that embraces the magic of "replayability," almost like NiGHTS with guns. Here lies a textbook example of what makes the Saturn so great.

Oh, and Bulk Slash was also created by Technosoft. Sort of. Hudson formed CA Productions, the software studio, by stealing away members of Technosoft's staff for the twin PCE/Turbo-CD shooter classics, Gate and Lords of Thunder. I learned this recently, and it felt like a light clicked in my head. I had a nagging suspicion that Bulk Slash shared some secret connection to Herzog Zwei, in the robot that transforms into a jet, in the way enemy targets are protected by armored units. Turns out my hunch was right. I strongly suspect some members of the Herzog Zwei team were, in fact, involved in this game.

I love the variety of environments, missions, goals, and surprises in Bulk Slash. Early levels involve flying through cities, smashing everything in sight. Later levels involve escort missions, bombing runs, and run-and-gun missions through fortresses. Power-up weapons are hidden around and require you to march around carefully, instead of flying and blasting everything in sight. There's even a bit of a dating sim (a video game genre strangely popular in Japan), where you choose a young woman as your navigator, and proceed to impress her with your flying and shooting skills. Oh, and you have to actually find these women, too. I get a laugh whenever my navigator starts nagging me every time I get shot. I'm trying to fight a war over here!

It's interesting how the PCE and Saturn were the two great "lost" video game consoles, condemned to failure in the West, while thriving successfully in native Japan with mountains of great games. Thank goodness for the internet, I say. How many of these "lost" classics would remain lost without Youtube, message boards, online retailers and downloads? There are so many good Saturn games that you'll probably lose count, and if you're a collector, you'll likely never own all the titles. Make sure Bulk Slash is near the top of your list. It's a terrific video game and I can't recommend it highly enough.

Dezaemon 2 Video Showcase

2011-08-06T12:35:00.002-05:00

Twin Dog's Heroes [Saturn Deza2] by RayonDePixel

I promised to show some examples of the many user-created shoot-em-ups created on Athena's 1997 Sega Saturn title, Dezaemon 2. This is a magnificent construction program, very detailed and thorough, yet easy to comprehend. If you can read Japanese, the 60-page instruction book will be immensely helpful. You may also want to track down Athena's official guide book, which became a valuable tool for the devoted Deza2 scene in Japan.

What about English-speakers? There is a guide on GameFAQs which is very helpful (though incomplete), and all the controls and features can be understood fairly easy. In fact, I'm openly wondering why Athena (if they're even still in business today) hasn't released a deluxe Deza package for PC and Mac, allowing you to import graphics and audio. Imagine that you could create your own arcade shmup, and then sell it on iTunes. Deza2 is that sophisticated!

If you want to get into Deza2, you'll need a backup memory cartridge for the save data (games take up a whopping 1500-2500 blocks). This presents a challenge for Saturn owners who rely on Action Replay's 4M Plus. You may want to shop on eBay for a Japanese Saturn. Fortunately, they're just as cheap and readily available as the American Saturns, in the $40-$60 range. Let's face it, if you're playing Sega Saturn in the year 2011, you're already in an exclusive club of old-school videogamers. Spring for the white box!

Anyway, as promised, here is a selection of actual shmups created on Deza2. More videos after the jump!

Photos - Hyper Duel (Saturn)

2011-08-02T18:10:00.001-05:00

I felt that Hyper Duel deserved a second post, so here's a collection of screenshots to enjoy. All of these hail from the game's Saturn mode, which boasts refurbished graphics and gameplay additions like a lock-on for your Mech. This is a great-looking video game. And thanks to the internet, you can download this game, burn it to disc, and play it on your Saturn tonight. I wouldn't even consider buying a retail copy until the prices come down to reality.

It's really a pity Technosoft didn't similarly revamp the graphics to their other arcade shooter, Blast Wind. Even better yet, Saturn remakes of Herzog Zwei and Thunder Force II through IV. Heck, why not do that today?

Technosoft's Hyper Duel on Saturn

2011-08-02T17:46:00.001-05:00

My current go-to game on Sega Saturn is Technosoft's excellent 1996 shooter, Hyper Duel. I played the arcade version on MAME a few years ago, but was slightly disappointed by the experience. The Sega Saturn version, however, is a completely different story. Of the three spaceship shooters on the system - Hyper Duel, Blast Wind, Thunder Force 5 - I think Hyper Duel is my favorite, which, of course, makes it my favorite side-scrolling arcade shoot-em-up on the Saturn.

In the arcades, Hyper Duel looked flat and even a little sickly; far too many greys and greens in the color palette. On the Saturn, Technosoft completely revamps the graphics, adding light and contrast, and bringing a vivid saturation to the colors. Explosions are a fiery red, enemy ships have a metallic sheen, stars and galaxies in the background look stunning. It's a testament to glorious pixel-art; Hyper Duel now looks like a proper Technosoft game. If only Herzog Zwei and Thunder Force III were remade with these graphics! Ah, I can only dream.

You can tell that Technosoft came from a console background, because their arcade games are relatively simple and straightforward by comparison. Hyper Duel (and Blast Wind, their vertical-scrolling shooter) doesn't have the winding, unpredictable level design of Thunder Force III and IV, a design that owes its allegiance to 2D platformers. Instead, it's much more direct and tightly focused, and the levels are fairly short before you have to battle the giant bosses. It's also very challenging, which meant pumping in lots of quarters at the arcade.

Oh, and have I mentioned that you pilot a spaceship that turns into a robot? You can also call upon extra fighters or mechs to attack the enemy. Shades of Technosoft's masterpiece, Herzog Zwei, no doubt. You can choose among three spacecraft, which move at different speeds and have slight variations in weapons (even though they're basically the same). And two players can fight together, a terrific addition that should have been included in the Thunder Force games.

Like all of Technosoft's Saturn games, Hyper Duel never left Japan, and it's an extremely rare game that currently sells for a king's ransom - $200 has been the going price at eBay for some time. I can't fathom why you'd pay that kind of money for a single videogame, especially when you can download and burn to disc for free. Bragging rights, no doubt. The Saturn has become a highly prized collector's item among old school and shooter fans; it's a badge of honor for the true hardcore gamer, and Hyper Duel is one of their most prized trophies.

DX Jinsei Game - The Game of LIFE

2011-07-31T23:26:00.002-05:00

When going through my latest stack of Sega Saturn discs (thank you, internet), I found this entertaining little gem of a game. It's DX Jinsei Game, or The Game of LIFE (1995), by Takara for Sega Saturn. This is the third title in a very long and popular series that has appeared on most game systems from Gameboy to Playstation to Wii. Do you remember the tropical island board game from last year's Wii Party? Well, probably not, judging by the lackluster sales. But DX Jinsei is kinda like that.

I don't know if The Game of LIFE is different in Japan than the US, because this video game version is quite different from the board game I played as a kid. The basic premise is still there - you drive a car and move through a winding pathway, earning degrees, getting married, making money. Takara's version is quite a bit different, adapted both for Japanese culture and the video game medium. I really enjoyed this, because it kept me on my toes. It felt like a new discovery for me.

The game plays like a hybrid of the original board game and Mario Party, only without any arcade mini-games. There are various squares that lead to good or bad events, opportunities for winning money or buying items. Oftentimes, you're presented with a choice to be made, like whether to claim a lost purse as your own, or find the owner. These are nice character-building exercises, even if I am just guessing (I can barely read Japanese).

The dating squares are even more interesting. Instead of just getting married and collecting pins for yoru car, you have to court someone from a group of singles, male and female. Yeah, you can actually marry as a gay couple in this game. First date is basically luck, but the second and third dates require you to choose a gift and destination (is karaoke night a good idea for a 2nd date?). You may be rejected, or you'll win and get married. Then you can have a child, but interestingly, only one. Japanese culture, no doubt. It's an interesting twist; as you earm more money as your family grows, you can't waste time chasing the wrong person or playing the field.

There are three different boards in DX Jinsei, but even the short board takes around 90 minutes to finish with 2-4 players. There's a reason a save option is available, kids. You can customize your car and your character, which is kind of a precursor to Nintendo's Miis. There's a lot of goofy characters and situations...and have I mentioned how trippy this game is? The graphics skew to the colorful and the psychedelic, almost to the point where you openly wonder if the CD came with a package of morning glory seeds. Even the music has this slightly off-pitch, haunting quality . This is definitely a Summer of Love video game!

I was very pleasantly surprised by this game. I only planned to play for a couple minutes, before moving through my large stack of CD-Rs. Instead, I played through an entire game and even started a second before heading off to bed. I can see this being a lot of fun with four people, some music on the turntable, and root beers all around. At some point, I'll have to buy the sequel, which appears to be more refined and polished in every way. Thankfully, these are the sort of Saturn games you can score on eBay for less than five bucks. You'll definitely get your money's worth.

EA Kills Stereoscopic 3D

2011-07-30T16:30:00.005-05:00

The kingmakers have now spoken. Stereoscopic 3D is out for video games. And in this business, whatever EA wants, EA gets. Just ask Sega and Visual Concepts.

I can't imagine Nintendo surrendering 3D just yet. They're heavily invested in the idea, and in fact, 3D is an obsession that goes back decades. They have always been convinced that a 3D display is the future of video games. Unfortunately, they've failed every time they tried it, whether it was Rad Racer on the NES, or the Virtual Boy, or the 3DS. Their hope was that the technology only needed to come around, and then the massive push by Hollywood towards 3D movies no doubt convinced Nintendo that era had finally arrived. Unfortunately, such an era has not arrived, and may never exist.

Does Nintendo have a contingency plan to remove the 3D display from their 3DS handheld? I would have to think they do, if they're sound businessmen. There has to be a Plan B. But I can't imagine they would pull the trigger anytime soon. As an admission of failure, it would be enormous, and the investments incurred to develop the 3D technology will be lost. It would be seen as a major retreat, and it would probably cost Satoru Iwata his job. But I think Iwata dooms himself and his company the longer he waits. When Sony enters the market with the PS Vita, Nintendo will be assaulted on two fronts (with iOS attacking from the other side). They lose "casual" gamers to $.99 iPod games, and they lose "hardcore" gamers to Sony.

How does a manufacturing company - and this is the kind of company Nintendo truly is - survive the transition into world without physical media? It's all going away, cartridges, discs, poof. The terrible irony is that it was Nintendo who proclaimed the coming changes five years ago. This is why they radically changed course with the DS and Wii. Unfortunately, as Nintendo raced back to the top, their old arrogant ways returned as well.

Again, I have no idea how Nintendo escapes from this trap, but I do know that sterescopic 3D and the Wii U tablet are doomed ventures. Eventually, the company must face that grim reality and deal with the consequences.

Nintendo Made Their Myth, Now They're Trapped

2011-07-29T13:53:00.001-05:00

The true crisis for Nintendo lies in how Apple has successfully disrupted their business model with iOS downloads. Nintendo true business isn't really video games, but manufacturing cartridges. That's where the real money comes in. Apple has now completely demolished that model with 99c downloads. And how can you compete against that? How low can you drive the price on a cartridge game and still turn a profit?

I've long felt that Nintendo's greatest strength is its legacy, and the Virtual Console should be the heart of their strategy. But that would require them to sell VC games for 99cents or less, on all formats. This is a bit of a problem, as we have seen how everyone within six degrees of Kevin Bacon wants their cut. The original developers, the original publishers, the original console owners – everyone wants a cut. And Nintendo wants the biggest cut of all. The end result are VC titles that sell for outrageous amounts, leaving the door wide open for iOS and Android to drive a truck through.

I honestly don't know how Nintendo gets out of this fix. The 3DS is a disaster of a handheld; it's not even a noble failure like the Sega Saturn (an immensely better console now that we have all those amazing Japanese games). If I were in charge, I would get rid of the 3D display entirely, get rid of the analog thumb-thing, fix the two screens, get the price under $90, and open up the complete Virtual Console and Ware libraries immediately. Oh, and all downloads are 99c or less. Fat chance on that.

But I don't think even that could help at this point. You still have the problem of selling expensive cartridges, and the rising development costs ensure that prices cannot come down anytime soon. If you could bring carts down to, say, $15, maybe you would have a fighting chance. Maybe. You would still have to deliver the kind of games that would justify that high price in the face of the iPod.

And while I'm at it (before security has me thrown out), I would immediately kill that stupid Wii U tablet and recommit to the Wii Remote, and fulfill all those promises that NIntendo made back in 2005. Unfortunately, they've neglected the Wii's expanded audience for so long, they may be lost for good. Ah, but what do I know? I'm the one guy who thought Wii Music was genius.

Anyway, there's no question at this point that Nintendo is the victim of the very thing - Disruptive Innovation - that they championed in 2006. It's a nasty situation and things are only going to get worse.

Nintendo 3DS Price Cut to $169.99

2011-07-28T14:08:00.004-05:00

This is a shocker. Nintendo isn't usually given to dramatic moves, like cutting the price of their latest system by nearly a hundred dollars. Drastic times call for drastic measures, and the 3DS is struggling badly. More shocking: Nintendo will now incur losses on each sale. They have never done that before. They have always managed to sell their hardware at a profit; indeed, this is how they were able to thrive during the N64/Gamecube eras.

I still believe that the main problems with the 3DS handheld is 1) the headadache-inducing 3D display, 2) the enormously high price, and 3) the lack of any good games. The price cut will definitely help. Nintendo still has to address the 3D and software issues, and that's going to decide whether the system lives or dies.

As always, the 800-pound elephant in the room that nobody wants to discuss is Apple. The iPod/iPad is becoming a formidable system, thanks to the easy touch-screen controls (people are intimidated by 14-button controllers) and the low price for games. In our permanent recession, there simply isn't any play money to throw around. If I can have a really great videogame for only a couple bucks, then that's a win for me. People simply cannot afford $40-$60 game titles, especially when those games are nothing more than franchise copies of sequels of spinoffs of revivals. Snooze.

At this point, I don't think even Mario Kart and a new 3D Mario is going to help. I've already shelled out enough money for the same video games. I want something new. I don't see why that's so difficult. The current game scene is dreadful. I'm having far more fun burning another 200 or so Sega Saturn games, and, frankly, the Saturn games are far better than the overpriced schlock on store shelves today.

I think Nintendo had better change their strategy and fast. The problem is...I have no idea just what their current strategy even is. This is not the same company who gave us the DS and Wii Remote. They had better find a way to rekindle that lost magic before it's too late.

Digital Pinball: Necronomicon

2011-07-27T14:08:00.004-05:00

How many video pinball titles are there on Sega Saturn? Seven. Isn't that crazy? Kaze's Digital Pinball series is easily the best, with their two games: Last Gladiators, which was released in the US, and Necromicon, which stayed in Japan. Each game presents three different pinball tables, each with compelling physics and gameplay, music by Dream Theater guitarist John Pertrucci, and super-sharp graphics utilizing the Sega Saturn's high-res graphics mode. This game looks terrific on a big screen, and plays a mean game of pinball.

Necronomicon is commonly regarded as the best pinball title on the Saturn, and it's another excellent addition to your gaming library. One of these days, I'll start seriously collecting Japanese Saturn games, and this will be near the top of my list.

Three Dirty Dwarves

2011-07-24T22:45:00.000-05:00

Three Dirty Dwarves is quintessential Sega. It's clever, inventive, funny, visually dazzling. It aggressively pushes the envelope for 2D video games, with graphics that would melt down a Sega Genesis. Nobody else could create renegade gems like this; not Microsoft, not Sony, and sure as hell not Nintendo.

Ah, but times change, and in the 32-bit era, the video game public was becoming increasingly tired on all things Sega, and dashing to their new infatuation, the Playstation. And they had no patience for 2D video games. If it were released in 1991, Three Dirty Dwarves would be hailed as a masterpiece, right up there with Sonic and Toejam and Streets of Rage. In 1996, it was all but ignored. No polygons, no mas.

Today, 15 years later, it's the 3D polygons that look horribly out of place, roughshod, slapdash, and the 2D sprites shine gloriously. Perhaps this is because Saturn was the last true 2D games console, where the art form was pushed to its absolute limit. Notice the fluid animation, the quirky humor, the dazzling 3D effects. How surreal that three dimensions appear more inspired, more dazzling, when they are tricked by 2D sprites? I'm certainly not suggesting that we throw away modern graphics completely (although bringing color back would be nice). Perhaps I'm jaded about 3D the way I once felt jaded about 2D.

Another thing that greatly impresses me today is how original this game is. Sega was struggling badly against Playstation in 1996; if they had any chance of holding their ground in the US, that was the year. And they did not rely on sequels and franchises and Genesis nostalgia. There was no Streets of Rage, no Revenge of Shinobi, no Toejam and Earl, no Comix Zone, no Vectorman. Instead, quirky and original games like: Three Dirty Dwarves, Mr. Bones, Virtual On, Bug Too!, Baku Baku Animal, Dark Savior, Worldwide Soccer '97. That is a stellar lineup, my friends.

Anyway, this is not to slight the Playstation (which deserved its success), or to exonerate Sega (which deserved its meltdown). The die for the 32-bit generation was already cast. Fortunately, we now have the luxury of enjoying all of these old video games without dealing with the horse race politics. Saturn and PSX are now in a nursing home and they're the best of friends.

DJ Wars - Sega Saturn

2011-07-24T20:57:00.000-05:00

When it comes to Japanese Sega Saturn games, most of the attention is aimed towards 1) Tactical RPGs, 2) Arcade Shoot-Em-Ups, and 3) Fighting Games, mostly 2D. It's only after you explore those veins that the search for the real hidden gems can begin. And that's where you'll discover DJ Wars.

DJ Wars is essentially a free-form rhythm-music game, without the strict control of, say, Dance Dance Revolution. This seems to be much closer - interestingly enough - to Nintendo's Wii Music. The game sends you, an aspiring DJ, to various clubs to impress the dancers and show off your skills. There are no guidelines telling you exactly what to do and when to do it; you really have to discover the flow and learn what each crowd likes. In that sense, it's much more of a DJ simulation than anything.

There are 50 tracks available, and you can bring 7 LPs (take that, digital!) to your gigs. You can mix two tracks, use faders, add samples, and if you're really good, add in some scratching. Just like real life, you'll be spending most of your time practicing in your bedroom and honing your craft before heading to the clubs. My roommate, Nate, happens to be a successful DJ, and that's exactly what happens at the house. Whenever he's not working his day job at the University of Minnesota, he's practicing for the next show, and loud thmp-thmp-thmp beats shake through the walls.

Like many of the late-era Saturn games, DJ Wars never left Japan. The software studio, Spike, has been very successful over the years with the modern consoles, including a lot of sports and racing titles. They're also the developers of Madworld on the Wii, which got a lot of attention a couple years back. DJ Wars appears to be their first full-on video game. I wonder why they haven't brought it back? Certainly there was a window during the rise of Guitar Hero and DJ Hero. Perhaps the need for actual licensed music would make such a project far too expensive.

Once again, spiraling production costs have made daring, inventive, quirky video games an impossibility. When publishers are gambling $50 million on a single title, they're going to be very, very conservative with their money. This is why I miss Sega's consoles. Sega was a true home for renegade gamers who wanted something different, something new. And this is why Saturn and Dreamcast are so beloved by dedicated gamers today.

Choro Q Park - Sega Saturn

2011-07-24T15:24:00.001-05:00

I only played Choro Q Park once, a few years ago when I was burning a giant stack of Sega Saturn discs, and I wasn't very impressed. The graphics were very colorful and solid, but the pacing was a bit slow, and I really couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do. Now I'm revisiting the game again, thanks to Youtube, and I'm finally able to see what all the fuss was about.

Takara's Choro Q series is based on tiny racing cars, better known in the US as Penny Racers. The Saturn version was made in 1998, which puts it in that glorious "Late Saturn" period when most developers had finally cracked the beast and were churning out the console's best games. Unfortunately, it was too late to make a difference, as Sega was about to introduce the Dreamcast in a desperate last stand.

Once you get moving, this is a really terrific little racer. It's obviously the Saturn's answer to Mario Kart, and - dare I say it? - Choro Q Park's racetrack designs are better than Mario Kart 64. Of course, I'm one of those gamers who felt disappointed by Mario Kart 64 (SNES, DS, and Wii versions are all superior), but it's still an impressive achievement for a relatively small outfit like Takara.

The idea in Choro Q Park is to collect Penny Racers, and there are 80 cars in all. During a race, you can switch between four different vehicles on the fly, which is pretty cool, and once you're able to move up to the faster cars, this game really does take off. Watch these Youtube videos and see for yourself. Very nice! I really enjoy the winding pathways, hills, and jumps in these racetracks - here is a perfect example of why track design peaked during the 32-bit era. Developers were forced by short draw distances to create winding, weaving tracks; today, everything is just a straight line, and it's like driving through traffic.

I've long believed that the Sega Saturn needed another good year before retirement. There were so many great games from Japan in 1997 and 1998, and they couldn't come to the US or Europe because, frankly, it was too late. This would have been a welcome hit for Western Saturn fans. This, and the other 400 or so Lost Saturn Classics. Is this the most underrated videogame console of all time? I've never seen a console's reputation completely turn around like the Saturn. It's become the Captain Beefheart of video games.

Dezaemon 2 - Sega Saturn's Best Kept Secret?

2011-07-22T19:23:00.006-05:00

Back in EA's early days, they created a fantastic do-it-yourself computer game called Pinball Construction Set. It was a game that allowed you to create your own pinball game, using a wide variety of parts and building tools, then save to disc and share with your friends. It was just about the greatest toy for any kid in the 1980s, and spawned an industry of user-created titles over the years.

Here is Sega Saturn's answer to Pinball Construction Set - Athena's Dezaemon 2. You get to create your own arcade shoot-em-up, vertical or horizontal scrolling, with an almost limitless array of effects, options and features. It's almost stupid easy to create using templates, or you can create your own graphics and compose your own music from scratch. And I don't mean that you can create a simple, rudimentary shooter that resembles some old BASIC program from 1981. I mean that you can create modern shooters that give commercial games a run for their money.

Deza2 continues to have a small-yet-dedicated fan following in Japan, where the game was released back in 1997. Yes, this is yet another of the 400 or so "Lost Sega Saturn Classics" from Japan, and it's among the very best. Heck, if I was ten years old, I would swear on a stack of holy books that this is the single greatest video game ever made.

I'll have to post some Deza2 Youtube videos, just to show off the amazing variety and skill in some of these user-created shooters. I'll also have to spend more time with it, hopefully without becoming absorbed for hours (hey, the weekend is short). This is the sort of thing that hardcore gamers lived for 20 years ago. Where did all the construction games go? I'm guessing that in this day and age, you're probably better off creating an actual indie game for real and putting it on iTunes.

Just Dance Summer Party Limited Edition

2011-07-12T13:46:00.002-05:00

Now this is a pleasant surprised. Ubisoft is pressing all of their Just Dance 2 downloadable tracks to disc and selling the package for $30. This is just about the only thing happening on the Nintendo Wii this year, so it's definitely worth grabbing. I do hope the Christmas medley (offered as a free download back in December) is included, because that's probably my favorite. Oh, and Funkytown with a big green alien...good times.

Just Dance 2 was easily the best Wii game of 2010, and I expect Just Dance 3 to retain the crown for 2011. I'm honestly not sure what happens to the series after this year; the arrival of Nintendo's Wii U will mark a dramatic shift away from motion controllers, and I fear the dance/fitness games will be left to die in the desert. I don't know if there will be a Just Dance 4. We should probably enjoy this party while it lasts.

Also, I wouldn't at all be surprised if this release really is a "limited edition." Ubisoft makes far more money selling individual downloadable songs for three dollars a pop. Snap this up while you can, kids;

Super Monaco GP on Genesis

2011-06-27T03:27:00.000-05:00

Last weekend, I found a copy of Super Monaco GP for a whopping $3, which is a colossal steal. My Sega Genesis is very happy indeed. Super Monaco is easily the best series of racing games for the Genesis. The first game was released in 1990 and quickly became a beloved favorite. A sequel appeared in 1992 and featured the endorsement (and design assistance) by Ayrton Senna, and it's more refined and fine-tuned. However...it didn't have the swimsuit model. Teenage males pay attention to things like this.

Most racing video games from the 8/16-bit era age terribly, so I'm quite happy to see how Super Monaco GP retains all the skill and charm. It was a watershed title for home consoles, far closer to the simulations on the PC, while still retaining the immediacy of the arcades. In the world championship mode, you weren't really expected to win any races, but rank high enough to win the respect of rivals and teams. Only after joining the right teams would you have a car powerful enough to compete for the checkered flag.

The 16 racetracks are all based on the 1989 formula-1 season, another landmark for home video games.. Each course has its own feel, and at least one really difficult turn. Competing drivers are always breathing down your neck, and it's a constant fight just to hold your place. Graphics are actually quite sensational by 1990 Genesis standards. There's a lot of information on the screen, including that giant speedometer (very stylish). Your rear-view mirror is essential for heading off rival cars, and the main driver-seat view is terrific. I'm very impressed with the sense of speed in this game, and the smooth scrolling of road and objects. This was a game that proudly boasted it's "16-bit Power!"

This really is a perfect video game. I can't find a single credible fault with it. Yes, the passwords are hideous, but we somehow learned to cope back in the day. If you can find this game for five bucks or less, grab it immediately. You'll be amazed.

Photos - Gunstar Heroes #1

2011-06-27T01:19:00.000-05:00

This weekend, I found a copy of Gunstar Heroes for the Sega Genesis at one of the local shops. They were asking $15, which is a bit pricey for my liking, but I'll probably be back next weekend with money in tow. It's just about the best Genesis game ever made, blazing fast, explosions everywhere, always challenging, visually stunning. Treasure struck the perfect tone in gameplay, technical effects, and outright weirdness.

Back in 1994, I didn't expect that I'd still be playing these games 15-20 years later; I probably expected that I'd have grown up and embraced a better hobby, or I assumed that video games would continue to grow and evolve. Unfortunately, the shift to 3D polygon graphics meant abandoning the classic arcade paradigm, and embracing, well...something different. Mostly cinematics. Snore. For all this technological greatness, video game design seems hopelessly stuck in the Playstation 1 era.

Thankfully, we have seen a revival of 2D video games in recent years, and there has been a decent attempt by some parties to return to the old-school arcade paradigm. It's sobering to realize how most of those design skills have just vanished. Designers and programmers honestly can't remember how to create a great arcade video game. Strange.

And so I find myself returning to Sega's magnificent old consoles. The best deal in videogames today is a Sega Genesis and a stack of cartridges, all of which could be had for the price of a single modern game. Now that is a bargain, friends. Show me a PS360 or Wii title that can compete with Revenge of Shinobi or Thunder Force III or Gunstar Heroes. Nothing on the current scene holds my interest, apart from Minecraft and the Just Dance series. Seriously, if you love video games, get yourself a (model 1) Genesis.

Videogame Classics - Super Mario World

2011-06-19T19:11:00.000-05:00

Super Mario World
Nintendo
Super NES
1991

Nintendo fans will argue among themselves as to which Super Mario game was the absolute best, but everyone agrees that the golden period ranged from 1990 to 1996, from Super Mario Bros 3 on NES to Super Mario World and Yoshi's Island on the Super NES, and Super Mario 64 on the Nintendo 64. That's the absolute peak of Shigeru Miyamoto's playful genius.

For my money, Super Mario World is the best one. This was where Mario was his most expressive, his most colorful, his most inventive. It can be easy to forget, as games lumber on from one franchise sequel to the next, that there could be a game where practically everything in it is new, or at least novel. Eventually, the games cater more and more to the demands of the fans, like middle-aged rock stars who surrender their creativity and just play their old hits.

I think that's the feeling I'm finally stuck with by the time I finished New Super Mario Bros on Nintendo DS. That game was little more than a sugar-coated nostalgia circuit, a videogame greatest hits album. The early thrill gave way to a weary sense of disappointment, a feeling of going through the motions for the sake of going through the motions. This is why I'm not a fan of high school reunions.

I don't think New Super Mario has one tenth the inventiveness and brilliance of Super Mario World. Just run through all the cool moments that have become standard Nintendo lore. Yoshi the dinosaur. The Yoshi eggs. The Ghost Manor. The Big Boo. Switch palaces. The hidden keyholes. The star world. The extra-secret star world. The shortcut to Bowser's castle that almost skips through the entire game. The Superman cape. Flamethrowing dinosaurs. Flying dolpins. Rotating cages. Sunken ships.

There's that world map that can be skipped about from one place to the next, provided you can find the secret exists to star world. For that manner, there are all those secondary exits from the stages. You don't need to find them; it's just all part of the fun of wandering around and having fun for fun's sake. That's the real joy of Miyamoto; his childhood thrill of exploring and discovering. It's a great tribute that all the best exits require your most agile skills to discover.

There's another moment in Super Mario World that became one of the most-copied standards of modern videogame. It's the very first level with the Superman cape. You can hop down a pipe and go to a secret place, a wide area with nothing but coins in the air. The purpose is to teach you the new skill of flying with the cape. There must be several hundred coins up there, and it takes you some time if you want to grab them all. Eventually, you learn the subtlety of flying, which is an essential skill for finding all those secondary exits and keyholes.

Every videogame since then gives you the chance to learn a new skill and practice it out before it's fully called into service. Every game. It's probably the greatest contribution to game design since, well, the original Super Mario Bros.

Also, I should also point out my all-time favorite Mario secret. It's the prize you win once you've completed the second star road, eight stages of hardcore gaming hell. Damn, those are hard levels to get through, but get through them you can, and when you step back into the real world...well, if you've never played through this game, it'd be horrible of me to spoil it for you. I really think this is the point where the psychedelics really kick in. Miyamoto's Magical Mystery Tour.

Oh, and I love the ending to the game. The final battle against Bowser's far better than the anti-climactic finish to Super Mario 3, and we are treated to one of the all-time best endings. And what's with all the ragtime music? Who thought up that? Genius.

I think Shigeru Miyamoto knew that he reached a peak with this game that could never be surpassed. That's why he started his period of grand experimentation, of veering into stranger and stranger directions. Yoshi's Island is an entirely different beast, the electric kool-aid acid test of the Mario universe. Touch Fuzzy, Get Dizzy, indeed. And Super Mario 64 (and its 3D children) inhabits its own universe, a different realm of reality. There wouldn't be a proper, 2D Mario game for fifteen years. I never could have imagined that, as I was discovering the final, masterfully psychedelic secrets, that Super Mario World would be the last great trip.

Hopefully, the blockbuster success of New Super Mario Bros DS and New Super Mario Bros Wii (aka "Super Mario Bros 5") will encourage Nintendo to embrace this 2D series once again. I only ask that future games not recycle the same old formulas; instead, reconnect to that wild, zany, psychedelic spirit that made Super Mario World so memorable.

Wii Game Proposal #2: Super Manta Racing

2011-06-18T13:27:00.001-05:00

What a cool title for a video game: "Super Mantra Racing." Nintendo games don't have "Super" in their titles anymore. They should fix that. Everything sounds better when it's Super. And it has manta rays...that race!

This is a video of the manta ray racing world from Super Mario Galaxy. It was probably my favorite part of the entire game, and like many of you, I expected that Nintendo would quickly follow up with a full racing game. It's one of the most obvious ideas for a Nintendo Wii game, right up there with motion-control sports and lightsabers. Strange how this has never happened.

There's a lot to like about the Wii, but despite Nintendo's great success, the console feels, well, incomplete. The Dreamcast has a more complete game library than the Wii. How bizarre is that? The possibilities of the Wii Remote have yet to be exhausted; heck, they've only barely been scratched, and now Nintendo is shuffling off to play with their next set of toys. Meanwhile, I could have a dozen killer Dreamcast games and never want for anything again.

In any case, the water racing level from Mario Galaxy should be expanded into a complete game, using the Mario Kart engine, and featuring all manner of fish, dolphins, sharks and whales. That would be pretty cool. I don't think a fish racing videogame has ever been made. That would be a completely new idea. Four-player split-screen is a must, as always, as is online, and skilled designers should be able to come up with lots of cool ideas for racetracks. I'd probably aim for something closer to Hydro Thunder than Wave Race, but you'd probably want to keep it fairly close to the Mario Kart formula.

Oh, and I'd try to work in at least one surfing level. I've been playing Kelly Slater's Pro Surfer on Gameboy Advance lately, and I love that game. I'm probably the only person on the planet who knows that game ever existed...whatever. It's a classic and every California Games fan will agree with me. What kind of stunts would a dolphin or manta perform? You have to have stunts. But surfer slang is optional.

Ferrari 355 Challenge at Sega Dreamcast's Wake

2011-06-18T01:00:00.000-05:00

There's something special about a Sega console. They define arcade video games better than anyone, except perhaps Atari. When the Dreamcast died, you knew that everything would just turn into mud. Admit it.

Ferrari 355 Challenge was probably the last great achievement in Yu Suzuki's long and storied career. I really have no idea what he's been doing for the past decade. Sega restructured itself as they shrunk and morphed into a soulless publisher of bad Playstation/Xbox games. Oh, and bad Sonic sequels. Lots and lots of bad Sonic sequels. Sigh.

I think Ferrari 355 has the best graphics of any Dreamcast game, and it was a spectacular demonstration of the console's strengths. It would have been interesting to see how far it could be pushed, to see if Sega's remarkable string of hit games would continue. Sigh again...isn't it funny how every discussion about the Dreamcast turns into a funeral wake? Maybe that's nostalgia talking, maybe we're all getting old. But it seems that video games themselves are fading away, becoming pop relics of the past, just like those '80s arena rock tunes playing on the Ferrari's radio.

Old School and New School

2011-06-17T01:37:00.000-05:00

It seems to me that video games are being divided into two major camps, the Old School and the New School. As I'm sure you can guess, I'm a defender of Old School video games, and I was thinking about this while window shopping local stores, as well as listening to some Terence McKenna lectures on James Joyce and Marshall MacLuhan. I'd like to take a look at a couple of Youtube videos that demonstrate, for me, at least, the distinction between these two different theories and why I prefer one paradigm over the other.

This first game is Ubisoft's Tom Clancy's HAWX 2 for the Nintendo Wii. It's an air combat game that was released late last year to a cool reception, and pretty much died at retail. I see that it's now a $20 title, which grabbed my interest, since I'm such a big fan of airplane combat games. Unfortunately, the game is wholly a product of the New School, with all the unfortunate baggage that entails.

The problem with New School games is that they are trying to be something they're not. They're trying to be movies instead of video games. This has been a particular obsession ever since the rise of CD-ROM, but really took off with the rise of Playstation and became dominant around the time the Dreamcast died. Now, games are designed entirely around the "cinematic experiene," with cut-scenes, voice acting, dramatic camerawork, and so on. The problem is that we are trying to graft the "hot" media of film onto the "cold" media of video games. It cannot work. Print is not radio. Radio is not television. Video games are not film.

Observe the HAWX 2 video. Note how long this video plays before we even see any actual gameplay. We have to watch the introduction, with military quotes and credits for the voice actors. We have to watch the movie scenes, which strangely play out like Hot Shots taken seriously. Everything is coated in Hollywood "military" music. After a small eternity, we finally get to the game, like a candy buried under a dozen wrappers...and it's a forced tutorial sequence. Why do all these modern games have forced tutorials, and such pointless ones, at that? Whatever happened to the instruction manual?

The key is that we are observers, not participants. We are passive, not active. I may be watching cut scenes on a game console, but I'm not playing a game. I'm just watching another movie clip. And once I do get my turn to play, the rules of the game are structured completely around the movie scenes. Everything is done in service to character and plot, not the immediacy of emergent gameplay. Perhaps this is why New School games rely so heavily on puzzles. Puzzles can be scripted, their outcome is predetermined. There is no room for surprise, no room for improvisation, no room for free will. It makes for a pretty lousy video game.

To me, that's very unfortunate, because I really want to like a game like HAWX 2. It's clear that a great amount of work was put into its creation, the development team is extremely talented - the graphics are astonishing for any kid who grew up on Atari - and Heaven only knows how difficult it is to eke out a living in the video game industry. I want these programmers, designers and artists to succeed. I want the medium itself to succeed and expand. But I don't believe success lies within the New School paradigm of cinematic-oriented games.

Now let's move on to the Old School. This second video needs no introduction - Sega's Afterburner II. Yeeh! This is one of the greatest Old School video games ever created. This is a perfect illustration of what arcade games do best - fast thrills, exciting action, narrow escapes from sudden death. There is no dawdling around, no claims of artistic greatness. Game designers and programmers didn't have that luxury in the past, because their arcade game has to compete against 30 other arcade machines for the players' attention (and money). This is not a realm of pontificating and philosophizing. This is the realm of the iconic now.

I remember this video arcade in downtown Duluth back in the 1980s that would hand out free game tokens for every A and B you scored on your report card. It was a terrific motivation. They had an upright Afterburner II, and it really was the coolest thing ever for a 14-year-old. Graphics were packed with color and detail, large airplanes exploded in bursts of flame, and we were barely dodging enemy missiles and spinning barrel rolls while firing back. This is exciting. This is fun. I like to imagine that I'm a daredevil pilot, cheating death and saving the world.

Is Afterburner shallow? Yes, most definitely, and that's a very good question. But all Old School games don't have to be that way; there is tremendous room for variety and depth. The freedom of improvisation that is given to the player is given to the programmer and designer as well. We must be careful not to follow the wrong path in the pursuit of "depth." Depth and complexity are found in the content of the gameplay, not the storyteller's vision. "Shallow" and "deep" are more complex than they seem.

For me, a New School video game like HAWX 2 is more shallow than Afterburner II. I feel like I'm being led by the hand down a straight line. I feel like I have no freedom, no room for surprise. Whenever I get hit by the Creepers in Minecraft, it's always sudden and unexpected, and I jump out of my seat with my heart in my throat. And it's a fantastic rush. Creepers can put the zap on you anywhere, anytime. Planes and missiles can strike from any angle in Afterburner. Pirates can steal my crystite in MULE. My quarterback can get injured in John Madden '92, and then the ambulance runs over all the players. For me, this is the stuff of life. This is fun.

Simply put, I don't want to be a passive observer. I want to be an active participant. I want to be a player.

Photos - Herzog Zwei

2011-06-15T02:49:00.000-05:00

I didn't want the tone of this blog to become purely negative and critical, so here are a few screenshots of Technosoft's legendary Herzog Zwei in action. This arcade-strategy video game is considered by many to be the grandfather of the Real-Time Strategy game, although it bears few similarities to Dune 2, Command and Conquer, and other such staples of the genre. It's really very unique, a lightning strike in a bottle, always very fast, always very tense, perfectly suited for multiplayer. And the music absolutely kicks.

Herzog Zwei is the best game ever made for the Sega Genesis, and remains one of my all-time favorites. I'm not kidding when I say Sega should bring back their 16-bit console. Jack Tramiel brought back the Atari 2600 in the midst of the NES boom and made millions. There's no reason that couldn't happen again.

Get Up Stand Up

2011-06-13T18:26:00.000-05:00

Cracked recently published a provocative and, well, very depressing look at future trends of the video game industry. "The 6 Most Ominous Trends in Video Games" is certainly a must-read, and I feel like I should go through all the bullet points in detail, Malstrom-style. But, like I said, it's very depressing.

Here's what I don't understand. If the game industry is becoming little more than a three-card monte at a subway station, why is anyone putting up with it? Why can't these "hardcore" gamers stand up for themselves and demand some rights? There's no reason to shovel tons of money at crooked game companies who only want to nickel-and-dime you to death. DRM, DLC, Cloud Gaming, Pay-to-Play...Fer crying out loud, people, show a little backbone. Stop giving these crooks your hard earned money.

Video games have been around for over 40 years. We have dozens of game consoles and computers, and literally tens of thousands of video games. If the entire enterprise disappeared from the Earth tomorrow, we'd be fine. Our grandchildren would be fine. Isn't this the real reason why this industry doesn't want to grow? The small and shrinking clique of "hardcore" fanboys will always shovel out money on cue, receive nothing in return, and beg for seconds. At this point, they're little more than domesticated pets.

Hardcore Gamers Will Never Embrace Nintendo

2011-06-13T02:55:00.000-05:00

And so it begins. We all knew it was a matter of time before the so-called "hardcore gamer" crowd found some reason to not embrace Nintendo's next console, the Wii U. What is that reason? The analog circle pads aren't proper thumb sticks. Yep, guess that means they'll be sticking with their PS360s.

This is one of those "Lucy and the football" events. The hardcore gamers are a small minority, but they're very loud, and they also happen to be the ones with the magazines and websites. They whine and whine and whine for Nintendo to give them complete and total attention, and then never deliver the goods. It's very infantile and, frankly, embarrassing for both sides. The hardcore clique should grow up, and Nintendo should learn to ignore them.

Nintendo has been spending the past couple of years focused almost exclusively on the hardcore clique, to the point of alienating and nearly abandoning the Wii's true core market. Take a look at the games released in 2010 - Super Mario Galaxy 2, Metroid: Other M, Sin & Punishment 2, Samurai Showdown 3, NBA Jam, Goldeneye, Call of Duty, etc etc. I even remember Kirby's Epic Yarn and Donkey Kong Country Returns being heaped with hype and praise by the gamer press last year.

So where did all these gamers go? None of these games were successful at retail. Galaxy 2 was a moderate hit, but still managed to sell a quarter as many units as Super Mario 5. Nearly everything else just tanked. They just don't deliver the goods. Time and again, they make a lot of noise, but never deliver the goods. Notice that the 3DS isn't going anywhere, despite the ridiculous hype. The Wii U will meet the same fate, I assure you.

Maybe we shouldn't call this crowd the "hardcore" gamers. They're really "industry" gamers, with all that implies. The video game press has always been in the industry's back pocket, and there was a shining moment in the mid-90s when it looked like that would change, but the moment passed. It's too bad. I really miss Kunkel Katz Worley and magazines like VG&CE. Those guys knew how to respect their readers and be honest. The video game media today is full of fluffers and lapdogs.

Anyway, I don't mean to be grouchy. I'm acting enough like Grampa Simpson, and I doubt this is being helpful. I'm still too young to be shaking my fist as passing clouds. The bottom line is that Nintendo really must stop trying to cater to a game industry that will never accept them.

This is Why Video Games Are Dying

2011-06-12T23:54:00.001-05:00

Today's video game industry is in decline, and in Japan, the decline may be terminal. This decline has been obscured by Nintendo's spectacular success with the DS and Wii, but now that they are planning to move away from the growing markets responsible for that growth, the decline will become all too obvious.

So why are video games dying? Simple. The people who work in this industry don't want to make video games. They don't want to be thought of as toy makers or nerdy computer programmers. They want to be seen as artists. They want to be movie directors, rock stars, celebrities. In the pursuit of this goal, the rush for ever-more powerful hardware has sent budgets skyrocketing to over $50 million per title. That's fifty million dollars to make a single video game. This is total madness.

The average age of today's gamer is 35. That means these "cinematic experiences," or whatever the hell they're called, are consumed largely by aging Generation Xers. I shouldn't have to point out that this strategy is certain suicide; frankly, it's amazing that my generation is still spending money on video games. But real life will force itself upon us, as we increasingly deal with marriage, raising children, taking care of aging parents, burying grandparents. We have to seriously focus our free money on our homes, our retirement, our health care (thanks to the USA's third-world "bah humbug" system). If you're still harboring fantasies of playing Xbox games until 2am when you're pushing 40, lemmie tell ya, it ain't gonna happen. Wake up.

Video games have to be video games, not movies, not television shows, not art school projects. This is not about the "creativity" and "vision" of the game designers. This is not about a pampered class of prima donnas who wish to be paid to sit in their chairs and lounge around, all while their horribly overpriced cinematic movie games fail to stop the decline of the market, or even turn a profit. Nobody asked for these stupid video game "movies." It's embarrassing, like watching a grown man playing with dolls. That's what comes to mind when I see something like Mass Effect 2 (shown above). This is where the obsession over "video games are art" ends. This is how bloated industries decay and die.

At some point in the future, even the most gullible of the "hardcore gamers" will get sick and tired of consuming the exact same gun games again and again. Is Microsoft really making a Halo 6? Notice how they're deliberately mis-numbering the upcoming title as "Halo 4," hoping that you'll forget the last two Halo sequels. Is this all we'll ever get? Good Lord, there's even a Batman gun game on the horizon. And let's not get me started on the newly-released, long-awaited Duke Nukem Forever. Nothing but hand-holding manipulation to lead you from Bad Movie Cut-Scene A to Bad Movie Cut-Scene B. Yuck!

I think the dirty little secret is this: most 30-somethings only continue to buy video games out of habit. That, and nostalgia. It's just something that we've done since childhood, and we always believed that video games themselves, as a pop-culture force, would live on forever. But that just isn't the truth, and it hasn't been the truth for a long time. It's about time that we honestly acknowledge that fact. Today's game industry is a slop factory churning out plasticine, digitized horseshit. And for that, I am truly sorry, because compost has given us so much.

I'll bet you were thinking that modern games were about you, the player and consumer? Sorry. These "cinematic experiences" aren't for you, grampa. They're for the arteests who are gracious enough to bless us with their wondrous presence. Oh, thank goodness for these geniuses and their wonderful vision! Why should I even watch a real movie, or read a book, when I have the wonderful brilliance of Duke Nukem and Mass Effect and Alan Wake and Modern Warfare? Truly, we live in a golden age. I'll go set fire to my Sega Genesis at once.

If video games, as a cultural force, truly die, then it's because it deserves to die.

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Where the hell are the investors? That's what I want to know. Where are the business tycoons? Where are the cold-heared capitalists who care only about making money and adding new customers? These are the questions rolling through my head this week in the wake of Nintendo's disastrous E3 conference. Nintendo had no games for DS, no games for Wii. They did show a tablet controller, aimed at attracting industry support so you can play the same stupid gun games you already have on the PS360. They showed a tablet that resembles an iPad, only with 14 buttons and a primitive touch-screen. They have a handful of gimmicky demos that appear to be nothing more than existing Wii titles, but with a silly gimmick tacked on at the end.

Did anybody ask for this? Did anybody think to themselves, "Gee, Wii Sports is fun, but what I really need is a bulky tablet to put on the ground so I can see my golf ball?" Really? I mean, really?? Any such customers exist only within Nintendo's imagination. It's kind of like that Simpson's episode where Marge tells Homer to steal a car. Homer completely imagines it, of course, but it's good enough for him. Let's-a go! Wii owners have been frustrated about one issue: a lack of games. We want more motion-control and old-school video games. We never asked for a tablet.

Nintendo is a unique case of insanity. They carefully build a successful brand (Wii) and business strategy, and then turn completely around and abandon it. They build the Wii Remote, a remarkable device that returns video games to its simple 1980s roots, and then refuse to make any games that use it. They continually roll out trinkets and gadgets, use them once or twice, then throw them away as their superstar game designers become bored. How many ridiculous gadgets has Nintendo punched out over the last decade? There's the Wii Remote, the Balance Board, the Steering Wheel, the Wii Remote Plus, before that there were some bongo drums, a cable that connected a Gamecube to a Gameboy Advance, the E-Reader...am I missing anything?

"The Wii Remote is the foundation of this company. Period." That's the only thing I want to hear from Nintendo's top brass. Instead, all I hear is about Shigeru Miyamoto's personal whims. He doesn't want anything to do with the Wii because it's "old tech." He can't be bothered to follow through the spectacular success of Wii Sports and Wii Play and Mario Kart and Super Mario 5...he just doesn't feel like it. But he did have time to create a personal vanity project instead, called Wii Music. Wii Music was a disaster at retail, a miserable failure...and I'm the one guy who actually liked that game.

Did you ever seriously believe that when Nintendo announced its successor to the DS handheld that most of Nintendo's software titles would be warmed over leftovers from the Nintendo 64 and Gamecube? Zelda Ocarina, Starfox 64, Animal Crossing, Luigi's Mansion...Yes, Luigi's Mansion, the launch game that sunk the Gamecube. Why is it being made? Because Miyamoto wants to do it. End of discussion.

Will we get a new game that uses the Motion Plus? How about a sword fighting game? How about more old school 2D games like Super Mario 5? How about a New Legend of Zelda (going back to the NES originals)? How about Ice Hockey, or Ice Climber, or Rad Racer, or RC Pro Am, or Gauntlet, or Contra, or Life Force? Why can I come up with more ideas for Wii games in 30 seconds than Nintendo could in the last three years?

"No, no, no, no, no. I don't want to do it. I want to play with my new trinket instead. Until I get bored."

Notice that neither Miyamoto nor anyone else at Nintendo suffers any penalty when their vanity projects crash and burn at retail. Yoshio Sakamoto all but buried Metroid with Other M, a bloated (wait for it) cinematic stink burger. Eiji Aonuma has all but ruined the Legend of Zelda series with one gimmick-laden puzzle game after another. Does anything happen to these so-called "gaming gods?" Of course not. Despite making a train wreck of one beloved franchise after another, Nintendo keeps these men dutifully employed and overpaid, with no change in direction, and no enforcement from the executives at the top. They continue, unabated, with their own personal "visions" of artistic greatness.

Perhaps the blame needs to go to the top. Does Nintendo President Satoru Iwata have any clue what he is doing? Did he ever have a clue? I'm beginning to believe the Wii was as much a surprise to Nintendo as it was to the rest of the game industry. It's not everyday that your press conference ends with more questions than when it began. Wii U? Well, which is it? We, or You? Is the tablet the controller, or the system itself? Why do multiplayer games require the Wii Remotes instead of more tablets? Does this console use only one controller?

In answer to the last question, yes. The Wii U only allows for a single tablet controller per console. Imagine that. The extra players can still use their Wiimotes, which pretty much makes the whole tablet concept useless. Imagine if Nintendo released the N64 with only a single analog controller, and then refused to sell any more at retail. "Don't worry, you can still use your Super Nintendo controllers." In other words, go pound sand. Miyamoto is busy waxing poetic about his "experiences" and "imagining the possibilities." You go play in the corner by yourself with your little pretend tablet.

Do these people not believe in capitalism? Do they just not want to make money? Frankly, it's a miracle the company's stock only fell 10% in the wake of the U's unveiling. Nintendo's stock price is now back to where it was before the Wii was launched in 2006. Iwata has lost all the money. This is why video games are dying.

Wii Game Proposal #1: Wii Sports Baseball

2011-06-09T22:15:00.000-05:00

As I'm sure you can gather by scanning this blog, I'm a little frustrated with Nintendo at the moment. However, I don't wish to be negative or critical without offering some positive solutions. The lack of quality games for the Wii is a problem that can be easily solved. There's still nothing wrong with the Wii that couldn't be solved with some excellent multiplayer arcade and motion-control games. Yeah, I know, it'll never happen. But we can dream.

Here's my first Wii Game Proposal - Wii Sports Baseball.

This is one of those ideas that seemed so obvious, so inevitable back in 2006, that it feels slightly surreal that it's never happened. The idea is this: Expand the sporting events in Wii Sports into full games. See? It's easy. This idea wouldn't work with every sport - bowling and tennis are already perfect as they are - but it definitely works with baseball, golf and boxing.

The trick is to keep things simple and iconic. Wii Sports is, at its heart, a collection of early NES sports games, and you need to stay focused on that simple, arcade approach. Professional sports licenses aren't necessary, nor are mountains of stats, nor simulation-heavy ideas like injuries and trades and salary caps. The most important thing is to create a very fun game of baseball.

Fielding

Thankfully, the fundamentals in Wii Sports Baseball are already perfect. The batter/pitcher duel is 90% of the sport, and it's very satisfying to play. Fielding is the only major addition, and thanks to the Wii Remote's d-pad, it should be very easy. Just hold the d-pad in the direction of the base you wish to throw, and swing your arm. The speed of the ball depends on your throw, either a lob or a bullet pass. A bullet throw will get the ball to your baseman more quickly, but it should also increase the odds of a dropped pass. This could add a little drama when runners attempt to steal an extra base.

The biggest challenge would be control of your fielders. Personally, I've always been terrible with manual control. I never have enough time after throwing the pitch to respond to the ball, determine which fielder I'm controlling, or reacting to the change in camera angle. When I play World Series Baseball '98 on Sega Saturn (my all-time favorite baseball videogame), I always choose "automatic" fielders.

For these reasons, I propose that fielding in Wii Sports Baseball be automatic. Arcade games aim to capture the essence of the experience; think of the automatic running in Wii Sports Tennis. This is the key difference between arcade and simulation games.

Bunting and Baserunning

Now let's look at offense. Swinging the bat is already a lot of fun, but use of the Wii Motion Plus would enable a more accurate and complete experience. Do you realize the Motion Plus was unveiled three years ago? At what point is Nintendo actually going to use that thing?! I swear, they have the attention span of a mayfly.

Anyway. Bunting should be enabled by holding the Wii Remote sideways and holding down the A or B buttons, similar to going into "guard stance" in WSR swordplay. Aiming the bat should affect the angle of the ball. Standard videogame stuff.

Base running is slightly trickier. The default action would be to stop at the next base; that's what would happen if you did nothing. To continue running to the next base, shake the Wiimote. This could either be thought of as a "running" motion, or a coach "waving" the runner along. Hmm, now that I think about it, shaking the Wiimote up and down should make the batter sprint. I like a lot of action and movement, so I can see this as a chance to work up a sweat. To retreat to the previous base, you should just hold down the A or B button. This is consistent with the bunting motion, and fits with the overall design.

Now here's the tricky part. Should you be able to advance all runners at once, or should you move them one at a time? This has always been a design dilemma in videogame baseball. I can see the merits of both styles. Wii Sports Baseball aims for a simple, iconic design, however, so I think we should move all the runners together. Base running has a strategy all its own, but we don't need it to become complicated.

Pitching/Fielding Extras

The pitcher should be able to bean the batters with the ball. No real reason, other than a cheap laugh. The knockdown animations (yeah, more than one) should be really funny. If you could hit batters in Home Run on the Atari 2600, you should be able to do it today.

Also, I want to be able to swing my bat down on the plate when I miss a pitch. I do this every time in Wii Sports almost by habit. It's another throwaway gesture, but it adds a bit of color and humor to the game.

Gameplay Modes and Leagues

Now that we have the gameplay established, refined and polished, we can work on the gameplay modes. I think we all know what to expect here - Exhibition, Season, Playoffs, Home Run Derby. In season, you should be able to select the number of total games, and certainly nothing near a full 160 games. Too exhausting! I should probably fire up some NES sports games so I can see how the experts used to do it. Protip: All video game designers should have an NES handy for quick reference.

For Home Run Derby, I'd like to see some extra features added, like having to hit targets. How about a variation on Breakout where you have to smash down a giant, multicolored wall? How about a cameo by the ducks from Duck Hunt? Wouldn't that be cool? You could hit the ducks with the ball and win a surprise cameo by the dog! Now that would be terrific. Protip: Every good videogame deserves Easter Eggs.

Now onto the league. Because Wii Sports Baseball aims back to the NES era of sports games, we don't need any licenses. No logos, no team names, no players, no nothin'. I'm amazed that nobody remembers sports games before EA. Heck, the first three Maddens on the Genesis didn't have any official licenses; those also happened to be the best ones. Coincidence? Hmm.

How many teams should we have? Good question. I think it's best if the number if proportional to the length of the season, but it should be a healthy number. Should there only be teams in US and Canada, or around the world? I'm suddenly having visions of that cool globe from Wii Party. It would be really fun to watch the home team plane fly across the ocean for some baseball. Yeah, let's do that.

Create a Team

Naturally, the whole point in playing Wii Sports is to see all your Mii characters playing along. A Create-a-Team option is an absolute must. You would choose characters for set positions, like, say, The Count at first base, Fat Elvis at right field, Janis Joplin at shortstop. Charlie Brown at pitcher.

When you select your pitcher, you would then be able to choose that player's arsenal of pitches. Remember that Wii Sports Baseball lets you throw four different kinds of pitches. In this full version, you can select from a list. What kinds of pitches should we use? The usual suspects - fastball, curveball, slider, screwball, changeup. There should also be some gag pitches, like, oh...Whiffle Ball? We also have to include "Fat Pitch" as an homage to Accolade's Hardball, one of the great videogame sports classics. Video games today should honor its heritage, and there should be more humor; this business takes itself far too seriously.

Finally, there should be teams based on classic videogame systems. The players will have the console on their uniforms, maybe these should be regional championship teams, like boss characters? Atari would be in the US, NES would be in Japan, Genesis would be in Europe, Neo-Geo would be in S. America. You get the point. Now that sounds like a lot of fun! I want to play this game right now!

Final Extras

Instead of playing a national anthem at the start of the game, we should get some classic video game chiptune music. Remember Blades of Steel? Or Ice Hockey? Those games had terrific arcade music. Everything in this game should shout "FUN" in giant crayons. People should want to play with a smile on their faces.

There should be fireworks displays when you win a night game. Oh, yeah, we should have day and night games. Perhaps each city should have its own stadium with unique features, keeping in spirit with the location, but nothing too slavish. Maybe there should be classic game themes in some stadiums? Duck Hunt Stadium, here we come!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the full and complete Wii Sports Baseball. Tell me you wouldn't rush to the store to buy copies for you and everyone you know. Tell me this wouldn't be the most fun you'll have all season. Now copy this essay and send it to Nintendo's top brass and demand that it be made.

Nintendo Stock Watch

2011-06-09T13:59:00.000-05:00

Nintendo's stock fell 5.7% yesterday, and is currently down anothet 5.2% today. Pay very close attention today and tomorrow. If there isn't a rebound by the close of Friday, things will get very interesting.

Nintendo has two serious problems that need to be resolved before stock prices can rebound: 1) Prima Donna game designers who only work for themselves, and 2) Executives who refuse to discipline them. This company has no direction, no focus, no plan. Everything depends solely on the whims of Miyamoto.

The Wii will continue to be the company's flagship system for the next 18 months; it needs quality games and it needs them now. Nintendo needs to address the 3DS situation quickly, and move aggressively against Sony's PS Vita, which is gathering a lot of positive buzz at E3. They also need to resolve the problem of game controllers for the U console; only one tablet per system, really?! Splitting multiplayer control between tablet and Wii Remotes will prove disastrous for developers. Most will simply eliminate local multiplayer altogether. And we haven't discussed potential lost revenue from the lack of accessories at retail.

Miyamoto's assertion that players could simply use a 3DS as a second tablet controller - a $250 portable! - is beyond outrageous. The last royal figure who said, "Let them eat cake" lost her head.

A Simple Prop to Occupy My Time

2011-06-08T21:30:00.000-05:00

So Nintendo has finally revealed their new controller and next console, dubbed the Wii U...and investors responded by sending the company's stock price to its lowest level in five years. These investors are smart.

If anything, they're a year late. Nintendo has fallen back into their selfish, lazy ways, lost in daydreaming and personal vanity projects, while deliberately ignoring (if not starving) their Wii market. The E3 presentation did a poor job of selling the new controller, and only left us with more questions than answers. And despite what everyone may wish to believe, the demo games shown will become retail games next year. It happened with Wii Sports and Wii Play in 2006, it happened with the 3DS' "augmented reality" demos last year.

Nintendo has shown that they are selfish and lazy. No support for the Wii...why? Only one newly-announced game for the 3DS...why? A sequel to the failed game that sank the Gamecube? Really? And are we really going to get barely-updated versions of Wii Sports and Wii Fit with tablet features no one ever wanted? Mii characters cut and pasted onto a hacked rerun of Super Mario 5?

Nintendo is also building a reputation for being unreliable and undependable. They build a new gadget, use it only once or twice, then throw it away and move onto the next little trinket. Where are the Motion Plus games? Where are the Wiimote's motion-control games? What about the Wii Balance Board? Remember the Gamecube-GBA connector? Remember the E-Reader?

Nintendo promises a new world of innovative videogames, then they quit and walk away after one or two pet projects because they just can't be bothered to put in any effort. Here's a sequel to Luigi's Mansion that nobody asked for. It was a miserable failure on the Gamecube, and it will be a failure again. But Shigeru Miyamoto makes it beacause that's what he wants. Building on Wii Sports and Wii Play? Can't be bothered. They're through with motion controls. He can't even be bothered to come up with new games for the Wii U! These new versions of Wii Sports, Wii Fit, and Super Mario 5 are what the kids call "hacks." Hmph. Pretty much sums up the company, too.

What reason is there to believe that Nintendo will show any more support to their tablet controller? They'll come up with a novel use or two, publish a couple of early launch games, and then walk away. We're done! On to the next trinket! To hell with what the market demands and what the fans demand. Miyamoto will only do what HE wants, and on his schedule. And on your dime.

Last year, the Wii got Wii Party (from the makers of Mario Party) and Kirby. This year: another Mario Party and another Kirby. And the latest Puzzle Zelda that has been sitting on a shelf for over a year. It will do just about as well as the last three or four Puzzle Zeldas. How about a 2D, 4-player New Legend of Zelda? How about a new Ice Hockey, or Rad Racer, or RC Pro Am, or Gauntlet? How about something like Wii Tanks? How about a Wii sword fighting game? Why don't I have a damned lightsaber game? Who the hell's legs do I have to break to get something done around here?!

Nintendo absolutely refuses to fulfill their promises or provide the market what it demands. Meanwhile, the Wii's core audience - the fans who turned the Wii Series, Mario Kart, Mario 5, and Just Dance into megahits - are seething and frustrated. There's a lot of anger bubbling under the surface.

The "Hardcore Gamer" is Not Nintendo's Core Audience

2011-06-08T20:30:00.001-05:00

Nintendo needs to understand that their Core Gamers are not the so-called "hardcore" gamers who huddle around 10,000 versions of the same gun game on PS360. "Core" and "Expanded" audience is relative to each platform. For Nintendo, the Wii's Core Audience is Wii Sports, Wii Play, Wii Fit, Mario Kart, Super Mario 5, and Just Dance. That is the crowd Nintendo needs to keep happy, and it's the crowd that will decide if Wii U is successful or not.

I get tired of pointing this out, but Nintendo has been bending over backwards to provide the "hardcore" set with the games they wanted - Galaxy 2, Metroid Other M, Sin & Punishment 2, Goldeneye, Epic Mickey, NBA Jam, yadda yadda. Despite all the hype and all the whining, do the PS360 gamers show up? No. They never bother to lift a finger.

Meanwhile, Ubisoft's Just Dance series is now earning nearly a third of the company's total earnings. The company is still losing money overall, thanks to hideously expensive, "hardcore gamer" titles. At some point, the investors must get tired of setting piles of money on fire, when there's much easier money to be made.

I honestly have no idea what the hell Nintendo is doing. They're completely abandoning the Wii, even though it will continue to be the flagship console for the next 9-16 months. It also appears that the Wii is once again the top-selling console worldwide. You'd think Nintendo would want to make some money while waiting for their new investments to pay off. Ah, but that would require effort.

Again, let me repeat my main point. Nintendo's Core Audience are the new and lapsed gamers who have flocked to the Wii Series, Mario Kart, Super Mario 5, and Just Dance. It would be really nice if Nintendo would bother to notice this fact.

Nintendo's New Tablet - Not We, Just You

2011-06-08T13:50:00.000-05:00

Hoo boy, am I feeling agitated about Nintendo's new videogame console. This will take a few posts to completely vent, so let's start here...

CVG reports that Nintendo has said the U tablet will not be sold separately. There will be only one packaged with the hardware. Nintendo is "considering their options with maybe two controllers."

This has just baffled me. I'm not even angry or upset, just...baffled. Have these people lost their minds? What's going to happen when the controller breaks? What's the plan when the kids spill chocolate milk all over the touch screen because they want Mario to take a drink? What's the plan if the buttons are faulty? What's the plan if you just drop the thing? Well, what?

Now the name of the system takes on a new, cynical meaning: You. Not we. Just you.

And how much do you wanna bet that the Wii Sports clip from the debut video will become a launch title? It won't actually be a new Wii Sports, but the 2006 game with tablet control as an added gimmick. Same goes for Super Mario Bros Mii. What exactly is Nintendo doing, anyway? No games for Wii or DS. Only one new game for 3DS. Nothing but cheap demos for U. Droppo, you're the laziest man on Mars!

This is going to be a long year for Nintendo.

The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel

2011-04-20T23:06:00.001-05:00

This is IGN's rendition of the next Nintendo game controller. Nobody is going to buy this.

I still can't believe Nintendo and their investors would allow the company to literally turn 180 degrees around and release a PS360 clone that appeals solely to the dying "hardcore gamer" crowd. I can't believe that Nintendo would, in effect, renounce its Blue Ocean Strategy that has made the company billions of dollars. And, yet, this is what many inside sources are saying. Nintendo is desperate to win the favor of the core gamer and the software community. Never mind that both are in terminal decline. Facts, schmacs.

Sooner or later, Nintendo is going to face a very unpleasant truth: for all their whining and bawling, the "hardcore" gamers never deliver the goods. They scream and cry for games to be made just the way they want it, but they don't show up with the money, and they don't buy the games. Did Goldeneye become a major hit? Did Epic Mickey become a major hit? What about Monster Hunter 3, Sin & Punishment, Metroid: Other M, NBA Jam, Kirby's Epic Yarn, or even Donkey Kong Country Returns? Even Donkey Kong Country has only been a modest success. The strategy of "bringing home the core gamers" has failed. The core gamers never bothered to show up.

The best-selling Wii game of the 2010 holiday season? Just Dance 2 - a dreaded casual game. Oh, noes! The horror! And Wii Party was the last breakout Wii hit in Japan. No more. Sorry, folks. If you bought the Nintendo Wii because you loved Wii Sports, and you thought you were getting a new era of family-friendly video games, the kind we haven't seen since in 30 years, sorry. No soup for you.

Nintendo seems to believe what the market demands is not two identical, interchangeable HD consoles, but three identical, interchangeable HD consoles. Because that's what yer getting, whether you like it or not. The software business model today is wrapped around $50 million "blockbuster" games, and the only chance anyone has of not going bankrupt is to publish that $50 million video game on as many machines as possible. It means having the exact same Resident Evil, the exact same Metal Gear, the exact same Grand Theft Auto on multiple formats. In other words, what software publishers want is for Nintendo to subsidize their terrible losses and bad business decisions.

Here's some simple numbers for you, courtesy of Wikipedia. In Generation 6, he Xbox 1 sold 25 million consoles worldwide, and Playstation 2 sold 150 million. That's a total of 175 million consoles sold for the hardcore gaming systems. Now look at the sales in our current Generation 7. The Xbox 360 has sold 50 million units, while the Playstation 3 sold....50 million units. That's a total of 100 million "hardcore gamer" video game consoles.

Generation 6 = 175 million
Generation 7 = 100 million

This is the market that Nintendo suddenly wants to pursue. They're damned fools. The millions of new gamers and lapsed gamers are not interested in another PS360. If they wanted an HD console with Hollywood cinematics and a controller with 14 buttons, they would have done so. Obviously, that hasn't happened, and it's never going to happen. They didn't care in 2006, they do not care in 2011.

Let me repeat that again: Expanded Audience Gamers Will Not Buy This. Not now, not ever. The grandparents and soccer moms and children young and old have had 15 years to play around on a 14-button game controller. They don't want that. What the general population wants is ease of use, simplicity, and an iconic design. Something like...the Wii Remote. The Wii Remote should be the foundation of the company. End of discussion.

Can I play Just Dance 2 or Michael Jackson with that hideous controller? No. Can I play Wii Sports or Wii Play with that controller? No. Can young children, parents and grandparents who have never played video games understand this controller? Can they jump in and play and have fun? No and no.

That leaves the hardcore gamers, who are shrinking and disappearing at an alarming rate. You wouldn't guess this from all the noise you hear from websites, magazines, and programs on Youtube. But this is a market in terminal decline. And they're not going to flock in great numbers to an HD Nintendo console just to play PS360 ports. Remember what I said about there being no new consoles form Microsoft and Sony? They can't find anyone to lend them money, because the PS360, while successful commercially, has been financially crippling. There is no Playstation 4 and Xbox 3 because nobody is willing to finance them. Maybe in another three years, investors will get their money back. Maybe.

If everything said about Project Cafe is true, then it's the worst decision Nintendo has ever made. It's worse than the Virtual Boy, worse than the N64 or Gamecube. They will have literally turned their back on the emerging market that they themselves created, and turned around to embrace the very chaos they predicted in 2004 and 2006. Does that make any sense? This is madness. The 3DS was a foolish and ego-driven idea, but this? This is far, far worse.

If I were an investor, I'd be mad as hell and I'd want somebody's damn scalp. This is going to ruin the company.

The Sears Video Arcade II

2011-04-18T01:43:00.000-05:00

Just to drive the point home once again, and also because I have these photos on my desktop, here's the packaging for the Sears Tele-Arcade II. It's a re-branded Atari, the version that was sold in Japan under the name, Atari 2800. I actually saw one of these up close at a used-games store in Bloomington, MN. It's very stylish and very nice. Too bad the controllers or the box weren't included, but I guess that's what Ebay is for.

Video games were not a new idea in 1983, when this model was released. The general public had a pretty good idea of what these machines were about, and kids were already hooked for years. So this isn't a matter of introducing a new technology to an uninformed audience. This is about branding. It's about selling video games as a fun social tool, a leisure activity where friends and family can come together, and everyone is welcome, young or old. Let's have fun together.

I love the illustrations from the game cartridges on the box. The box art is one of the best-loved things about the Atari era. We just loved these illustrations. I was even showing some Atari games to Marcee tonight, and we were having a lot of fun admiring the artwork and cracking jokes. I can't remember the last time I saw a video game box that was remotely interesting. It's all photoshop and corporate marketing and CGI art assets. Snooze. Doesn't anybody use pencils and paints anymore? The Atari illustrations could be put into museums and hung on your wall. They're magnificent.

Sean Malstrom was right. The biggest threat to modern videogames is indifference. It was never chiseled into stone that these things would last forever. Pinball machines didn't last forever, neither did rock 'n roll or drive-in theaters. Why should this icon of youth be any different? Today's video games are no longer fun. They're bloated and pompous and arrogant, and far too expensive. Heck, these people don't even want to make video games anymore; they want to make movies or art statements, or whatever. I'd much rather just tell my kids to go play outside. They'll face enough pompous bullshit when they get to high school. Let 'em have fun for now.

Modern Video Game Packaging is Terrible and Makes My Feet Sad

2011-04-18T01:12:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know it's a bit silly. But I mean it - video games come in terribly boring packages today. It's a certain design aesthetic, of course, but far too sterile and boring. It's not just Nintendo, it's everybody.

The thing I loved about the Wii's ad campaign so much is that it brought back the image of the family playing video games together. That's how games were sold back in the Atari 2600 and NES days. Video games are meant to be fun, they're meant to be social. Today, the game industry is desperate to be treated "seriously" and treated like adults. Games are seen as the New Hollywood, as Lifestyle Chic. Personally? I think these are toys, meant to bring smiles to children of all ages. We shouldn't feel embarrassed about that, but celebrate it.

C.S. Lewis once said that when he was a child, he read fairy tales in secret and in fear of being discovered; but as an adult in his 50s, he read them openly. That's what I'm thinking of here (wish I had that quote). The video game business needs to overcome its fear of appearing childish. He who is not busy being born is busy dying, sayeth the bard.

I'm pretty sure this is a generational thing. Marc from Classic Game Room HD made the very same points about the 3DS box design. We just grew up with these exciting, fun packages that were full of color and warmth and excitement. Imagine how much fun it is for children to open their "big" Christmas present...and they're greeted with the Atari Video Computer System, or the Nintendo Entertainment System, or the Game Boy. Woww!! Remember that Youtube video of the boy who got a Nintendo 64? THAT is the goal of your package design.

Does that make any sense? I should also say that there is no problem that Nintendo couldn't fix with the 3DS. If they could bring the price down, extend the battery life, create new and original games that show off the system's powers, and demonstrate why 3D is the wave of the future, the 3DS will be a success. We're still in the first inning. The only problem is that reputations are made and solidified fairly quickly. If we're still talking about this in 12 months, then Nintendo is going to be in a lot of trouble. They can't take anything for granted.

The PS3 is a perfect example of everything going wrong. It was an unmitigated disaster for Sony, and Nintendo does not want to follow that path. IMHO, as always.

Just look at the giant box for the Atari Video Computer System (aka the Atari 2600). Doesn't it look inviting? Doesn't it look like everyone is having fun? Doesn't that look like the greatest Christmas present in history? It's a scientific fact that giant Christmas presents are awesome. And the Atari 2600 VCS box was enormous. But that's because it came with two joysticks, a pair of paddle controllers, the Combat cartridge, and a comic-book catalog. That's value, kids.

Now take a look at today's video game machines, which have nothing interesting on the outside of the box, and nothing interesting on the inside of the box. If I was a kid today, I'd rather ask Santa for some socks.

My Cranky Grampa Complaints About the Nintendo 3DS

2011-04-17T02:56:00.000-05:00

Nintendo's 3DS was released with great fanfare, but early sales returns have been disappointing. Nintendo, unfortunately, can sometimes be their own worst enemy, and for every step forward (DS, Wii), they take one or two steps back (Virtual Boy, Gamecube). It's a weird little cycle that I've seen many times over the past 20 years, and by now it's something I've just learned to live with. I really enjoyed the DS, and I really enjoyed the Wii. But right now, I am not enjoying the 3DS. In fact, I don't much like it at all.

Let's take a look at my Cranky Grampa Complaints about the Nintendo 3DS, and you can either nod approvingly or chuckle under your breath. Either way, here goes:

1) The 3D effect is just a cheap gimmick. Seriously, I had a 3-D Viewmaster when I was, like, five years old. Seeing Herbie the Love Bug in 3D back in 1978 was pretty cool. It's not cool in 2011. The problem here is that Nintendo has bet everything on a novelty that was good for exactly one Hollywood picture (Avatar), and once the moment fades, it's gone for good. Nintendo has yet to make the case why, exactly, any of us should care about stereoscopic 3D in video games. They're treating the "wow" factor as a given, and that's a foolish mistake.

2) The 3D effect hurts my eyes. Let me repeat that again for the sake of padding out the Google search engine - The Nintendo 3DS Hurts My Eyes. The whole 3-D effect is achieved by basically staring cross-eyed at the screen, much like those novelty "magic picture" books in the 1990s. And it causes eye strain and headaches and completely messes my vision for hours afterward. This is a very real problem. I don't like things that hurt me, and I don't like the idea of my video games turning me into Clarence the Cross-Eyed Lion. And, no, the slider option does not help. 3D is pretty much the whole point to this system. It's certainly the excuse for the outrageous retail price...

3) $250 is way too expensive for a portable video game system. The original Gameboy was sold for $99. It came packaged with a set of headphones and Tetris. The 3DS costs two-and-a-half times that much and comes packaged with nothing. Meanwhile, the DS Lite sells for half the price, and has a library of over 5000 games. An 8GB iPod Touch sells for $229. A coloring book and box of crayons sell for $5. Hiking through the woods and climbing trees is free. We have plenty of options for our time and money. Nintendo needs to shave $100 off the price of this immediately. Stop chuckling. I'm serious.

4) $40 is way too expensive for cartridge games. Gameboy games used to sell for twenty bucks.
Heck, you can find a Gameboy Advance SP on Craigslist for $40 or less, and usually get some games included in the deal. For the price of one 3DS game, I could be playing Tetris or Advance Wars or Kelly Slater's Pro Surfer or Final Fantasy I & II? For that matter, how many iPod games could you download for that money? There's no excuse for this sort of price-gouging. Drop the retail prices in half. Okay, you can chuckle at this one. It ain't ever gonna happen.

5) The 3DS battery life is abysmal. Three hours? We're talking Atari Lynx levels of power drainage, kids. And let me tell ya, I loved the Atari Lynx, but I hated the battery life. So did most kids, which is why they all ended up with Gameboys instead. C'mon, people, we put twelve men on the moon with less technology. Hmm, for that matter, why haven't we gone back to the moon, or moved on to Mars? Instead of exploring the galaxy, we're melting the polar ice caps. Progress!

6) None of the 3DS games are any good. Sorry. In all fairness, I will say that Pilotwings Resort and Super Street Fighter 4 are the standout titles, but sequels of ripoffs of spinoffs don't work in the year 2011. All this does is make me want to play Wii Sports Resort and the Capcom 4-MEG fighters on Sega Saturn. There's nothing in the 3DS library that really sells the machine, or compels me to play. Nothing is jumping out at me, so to speak. Shouldn't that be the whole point of a 3D video game system? At some point, you actually have to make some good games to sell your game machine. That's kind of how it works.

7) Repackaged sequels. This kind of builds upon the previous point, but bears repeating. People will not spend $250 for reruns. Sorry. Nintendo's DS and Wii were terrific systems because their innovative designs forced software developers to - gasp! - create new video games. Yoshi: Touch & Go, Zoo Keeper, Meteos, Trauma Center, Brain Age, Nintendogs, Wii Sports, Wii Play, Just Dance...Very impressive! Why aren't we seeing this on the 3DS? Instead we get: another Street Fighter, another Ridge Racer, another Pilotwings, another Dead or Alive, another Metal Gear, another Star Fox, another Zelda. Shrug.

8) The packaging is terrible. Seriously, who decided that video games should come in such dour, miserable packages? Probably the same folks who are embarrassed to be making video games and want to be making movies, or something. Whatever. This drive to legitimize the medium as "high art" is foolish and misguided. If you work in the videogame business, you're not a storyteller with a vision, and you're not an "artist." You're a toymaker in Santa's Workshop. You bring smiles to children of all ages and make everyone feel young and happy. This is a very good thing.

Just look at the package design for the original Game Boy from 1989. Now this just screams, "Play with me! I'm fun! Whee!" And then Nintendo included a pair of headphones and Tetris in the box - still the best video game ever made. Yay! In fact, I may just buy myself a Gameboy just so I have the box in my house.

9) Where are the touchscreen games? I hadn't quite realized it until I thought up that list of games, but all the best DS games were the early ones that relied on the touchscreen, and the best Wii games used motion controls to their fullest. But game designers don't want to be bothered with the new control schemes, and they've all but disappeared now. So what's the point of even having the damned thing if it's never going to be used? What's the point? Why should Nintendo add an analog thumb-pad to the 3DS when the touchscreen is already available? Seems to work perfectly fine on an iPod Touch, so why not here?

10) No pack-in game. Super Mario Brothers made the NES. Tetris made the Gameboy. Sonic the Hedgehog made the Genesis. Wii Sports made the Wii. Why isn't there a pack-in game for the 3DS? You know what I think the pack-in game for this portable should have been? Minecraft. Nintendo should have flown to Sweeden and handed Notch a blank check for the exclusive console rights. Reggie could still do that if he really wanted, but it's probably too late by now. Minecraft is headed for the iPod and iPad instead. Ah, well, it's not like Apple's about to dethrone Nintendo and take over the portable-games market, right? Right? Bueller?

Bottom line: Nintendo's 3DS is a very expensive gimmick, and it's lumbering out the gate with a number of issues that could become serious problems. Fortunately, Nintendo is already on the ball and they're planning for the future. They're buying a ton of Apple stock.

One Theory For the Next Nintendo Controller

2011-04-15T21:12:00.000-05:00

The next Nintendo game controller sounds a lot to me like the uDraw tablet that they designed with THQ and released last year. I'm trying to wrap my head around the idea of a joypad with a hundred buttons (like the PS360 gamepad) and a six-inch touch screen in the center. Perhaps it will resemble a PSP with handlebars. Or perhaps it will be closer to the uDraw design.

What I can't stomach is the idea of Nintendo eliminating the Wii Remote entirely. That's beyond stupid, it's suicidal. But notice how the uDraw combines with a Wiimote to offer motion control for the tablet. What if the Generation 8 tablet followed the same approach?

Consider the idea of a Wiimote with a touchscreen instead of buttons. There would still be the Power and Home and Start buttons, but aside from that, a big screen. The Wiimote just happens to fit into a 6" diagonal. So perhaps the new controller would feature a detachable Wiimote-touchscreen, and the tablet would include dual analog sticks, triggers, and way too many buttons. That doesn't sound quite so terrible.

Right now, the hardcore clique is dreaming of the idea that Nintendo will renounce the Wii and its Expanded Audience, and make a third clone of the PS360 duo - a PS-Wii60, where the exact same $50 million gun games appear on three consoles. From a business perspective, it's appallingly stupid, a fanboy fantasy. Like I've said, the hardcore gamers are in decline, and if it weren't for the DS and Wii, the video game industry would be in near total collapse. Nintendo would be mad as hatters to go down that path.

Let's see what they've got planned for us. If I can't play Wii Sports 3 and Just Dance 3 on this machine, then count me out.

Nintendo Has Officially Gone Insane

2011-04-15T20:45:00.000-05:00

If gossip and news reports are to be believed, Nintendo will unveil the successor to the Wii at this year's E3 in June. The so-called "hardcore gamer" crowd is clucking like hens at the prospect of Nintendo repenting for the sin of the Blue Ocean Strategy, and returning to the hardcore fold where they belong. It appears Nintendo may do just that.

Motion-control video games and "casual" titles like Wii Sports and Wii Play and Wii Fit have been staggeringly successful with the greater population, particularly the masses who have been too intimidated to play video games, or the former gamers who quit. The only ones who want nothing to do with that.....the prima donnas who actually make the games. They want to make low-rent movies and churn out endless reruns of the same four franchises. Yuck.

"Hardcore Gamers" are nothing more than fat, old Generation Xers, overgrown men of the Peter Pan Generation who should have far higher priorities for the rest of their lives. And their numbers are declining. Microsoft and Sony have taken a financial beating these past five years, and it appears that a whole host of bad habits is sending the video game business careening towards a cliff. Maybe I'm just being a bit grouchy for comedy's sake, heh heh.

But, seriously, though, I don't see where Nintendo is going with this. If "Project Cafe" is to be believed, then they've lost their damned minds. The controller sounds bizarre, surreal, and nothing like the simple clarity of the Wiimote. Indeed, it sounds more like a mutant offspring of an Xbox 360 and the uDraw tablet. It's not going to be a Wiimote. And all those nasty, irritating "casual" games like Wii Sports and Just Dance are out. Only grandparents and babies and losers want games like that.

Reality and sales numbers be damned. Nintendo now caters only to a hardcore clique that will never buy the hardware and never buy the games. But be damned sure they'll cluck like mad chickens.

Nintendo Bothers to Make Another Wii Game

2011-04-12T13:21:00.000-05:00

I see that Nintendo is bothering to pay lip service to the Wii console in 2011. Wow, two games in six months...how do they do it? Seriously, there had better be a new console announced at E3, or a ton of 3DS games, or else Nintendo owes us one hell of an explanation. I've never seen such shoddy support for a video game console since Atari's declining days with the Lynx and Jaguar. You would never believe that this was the dominant player of this console generation. You'd never believe the Wii outsold the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 combined. Such facts may well fall into the realm of urban legend.

Something is seriously wrong with Nintendo's mindset these days. Much like last year's Wii Party, the sequel to 2006's Wii Play is two years too late. That much should be a given. Do the suits in charge even bother to pay attention to the towering pile of third-rate dreck that constitutes the Wii software library? Do the suits know exactly how many baby games, or how many games featuring rednecks, or how many games about shooting chickens have been made?

We're in the year 2011, and Nintendo has announced its first new Wii title in over six months. And it's a mini-game collection. With a free Wiimote in the box. Using the Motion Plus attachment that was only ever used once. Five years into this experiment with motion controllers, and this is the best they can offer. This is literally the least they can do. It will not be enough.

The irony is that motion-control video games are extremely popular with the general public; the only true haters are....the losers making the games. Oops. And so this very strange Generation X staple circles in on itself once more, bringing it one step closer to eventual extinction. We'll make room next to the jukebox, the drive-in theater and the pinball machines.

A Pair of YouTube Poops

2011-04-06T01:06:00.000-05:00

I'm posting a couple of these hilarious and wildly inventive YouTube remix videos, dubbed "YouTube Poops" by the teenagers who threw them together. This is where I really start to accept that I am now on the other side of a generational divide. I had no idea these things ever existed, but they've been around for a number of years. I'm really impressed. This is like the video equivalent to the Bomb Squad productions from 20 years ago.

Again, these mash-ups are mostly made by teens. I'm amazed at that. I can't imagine that I would have had the skills to create one of these when I was 16. I thought I was pretty cool because I could beat all the super-tough NES games. Yeah...that looks good on a resume today.

Videogame Classics - Virtual Kasparov

2011-04-06T00:51:00.001-05:00

Virtual Kasparov
Titus Interactive
Gameboy Advance
2001

April 14, 2003

Video chess is one of those novelty ideas that never really panned out. It reminds me of the Atari 2600 days, when designers experimented with video versions of Checkers, Backgammon, Tic-Tac-Toe, hide-and-seek (seriously), and chess. These games were needlessly awful, and functional at best. Pretty much the only chess program worth playing has been the Chessmaster series. There just isn't much point to playing against a computer when you can play against, well, real people. Maybe I'm still burned at how Atari's Video Chess cheated (it stole your pieces between moves).

If there's going to be a good video chess program, especially in this day and age, there has to be some pizzazz. Chess may be the greatest game ever invented, but, believe me, it does not have pizzazz. Watching people play chess is slightly more exciting than watching people sleep.

Thank goodness for Titus. I have to say, the Gameboy Advance has surprised me a lot so far, and among those pleasant surprises is Virtual Kasparov. Finally, here is a chess game that is actually geared towards gamers, without insulting their intelligence or boring them to death.

My favorite feature is the tutorial mode, which offers a wealth of knowledge about the game. Beginners start off by learning the rules, the pieces, and their functions. Then you progress to the opening game, various tactics and strategies, different mate schemes, and endings. For more advanced lessons, you study several games, learn about Queen Sacrifices, and even watch three famous grandmaster-level games.

The title is, of course, a giveaway, as Garry Kasparov walks players through each step; not only showing, but asking feedback as well. This approach works wonderfully; you learn better when you're asked to provide the answers, instead of just taking notes. It certainly helps to gain the insights of the greatest living chess player.

The meat and potatoes of Virtual Kasparov is Story Mode. Here, you square off against a succession of opponents around the world. Your first matches are embarrassingly easy, but as you travel across the globe, unlocking more continents to visit, the computer challengers become increasingly difficult. Unless you happen to be a master of the game already, you won't be finishing Story Mode anytime soon. Thank goodness chess isn't one of those games that need to be updated every year; you could be coming back and playing matches for years. The final challenger is, of course, Kasparov himself, and, no, I am nowhere near him yet. Ask me in 2008.

Titus Interactive Studio is the French software house responsible for this game, ad it ranks among their best. There is always a certain devotion to style in all the French gaming studios, and Virtual Kasparov is no exception. I enjoyed the many portraits of your different opponents, from housewives to school nerds to businessmen to world-weary travelers. There are also a dozen different chessboards to choose from: two boards in 3D, ten in 2D. The boards show a wide range of colors and styles, from the conventional to the abstract; a couple boards have an almost cubist feel to them. And yet, it is still easy to make out the pieces. Even the game's default black-and-white chessboard looks great, classical in its simplicity.

This is the perfect game for a handheld like the Advance. I can also see this as the perfect solution for anyone who wants to learn the game, from your friends or your spouse or your kids. Anything to get them off Fox News and start using their brain.

Videogame Classics - Motoracer Advance

2011-04-06T00:43:00.000-05:00

Motoracer Advance
Delphine Software
Gameboy Advance
2002

April 21, 2003

Shortly after getting into Moto GP (and loving every minute of it), someone pointed me in the direction of Delphine Software's own Motoracer Advance. I can't remember how exactly the subject came up, but I'm glad it did. I have an affinity for anything that shows genuine creativity, that spark of fun, be it art or music or film or even videogames. Motoracer has sparks to spare.

The game is loosely based on a series of motorcycle racing games on the Playstation by Delphine, which featured different styles of racing fused together. I can't say I've ever seen the original games, but chances are that I've missed out. That's not to suggest this title is yet another port; not so. Everything has been built from the ground up.

Every game needs a hook. I found myself hooked once I started my first race and quickly discovered how wonderful everything looks. I wouldn't call it a "cartoon" look, but everything is drawn with a painterly approach, as though sketched with watercolors and stencils. There hasn't been anything on the Advance quite like this; "cartoon" games are usually covered with a saccharine gloss; Motoracer instead resembles an underground comic book. Smooth color, rich tones. Consider, for example, the Kenya course, with its rich browns, its animated locals waving from the side.

Then, of course, things start moving, and you realize how brilliant the game's graphics engine truly is. There are certain expectations with racing titles on Gameboy Advance, usually variations on the Super Nintendo "Mode 7," or the twists and turns of Sega's Hang-On and Outrun, or some attempt at 3D polygons (with mixed results). Adeline has achieved something different here. The game is entirely presented without polygons, and yet we have roads that buckle, heave, and twist in every direction. The first time you take a jump over a hill is a rush; sometimes, there are so many bumps and drops that one could feel dizzy. And everything is wonderfully smooth and very fast, even with a screen filled with trees, poles, buildings, animals, crowds, oncoming traffic. Motocross Advance has achieved something of a minor benchmark with old-school bitmaps. The question then remains: if this is what can be achieved on the Advance with sprites, why even bother with polygons?

That sense of speed is, of course, crucial to any great racing game. And the fact that this is achieved without sacrificing frames of animation only adds to my respect. I'm amazed at how far the horizon stretches. Perhaps that's just a benefit of all the hills and turns that I can see so far. The benefit to the player is that they can plan better for those upcoming turns. The game's camera is low to the ground, closer to a first-person view. Some may complain that their view is blocked because of this, but I've never had any trouble. Most driving games set the camera too high anyway.

Of the three different racing modes, the dirt bikes are my favorite, since they offer the most jumps and hills. In addition to dirt bikes are the GP and Traffic levels. GP includes the same high-speed motorbikes that made Moto GP so cool, with smoother curves and hills. One course takes place across a highway, where players must constantly drive across the narrow off-ramps. Traffic does just what it promises: you race against other drivers through city traffic. Trying to gain the lead while diving down the San Francisco hills is one thing; trying to avoid those trollies is another thing altogether. There are eighteen racetracks between the three modes, each similar in approach but noticeably unique in style.

Regardless of which bike you drive, the steering is impeccable. It's ironic that the motorcycle games on this handheld have turned out to be the best-playing. More often than not, bike games are throwaways after the cars have had their fun. Again, notice how your vehicles don't swerve recklessly every time you make a turn. There's a real sense of gravity at work here, between the traction and those insane drops. Even with the faster bikes (that you unlock as you progress), things never get out of control. Note that I don't crash to a complete stop if I touch one of the other bikers. Note how they actually put up a real fight, instead of letting me walk away with trophies.

There are more features to be discovered in Motoracer Advance. Suffice it to say, there's a lot of game here. Championships, crashes, squashing chickens, hitting fans, cheerleaders, and on and on. Up to four players can race against each other; which of course makes this title a must-have if you and your friends all have Gameboys. I'll be so bold as to say this is the best racer on Nintendo's portable. Alright, the best racer that isn't Super Mario Kart. Close enough.

Nintendo 3DS' Very Thin Lineup

2011-04-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

The launch lineup for Nintendo's 3DS is surprisingly thin. After all the hype, and after it became obvious that Wii software development was being curtailed, I assumed there would really be some bang-up games to show off their new handheld. Instead, not much. A new Pilotwings, a new Nintendogs, and some game involving a submarine.

20 years ago, I learned to be patient and generous when a new videogame console launched. The first wave of titles were little more than tech demos or cheap knockoffs, and that's fine. The real hits would arrive around six months later. It's very rare that you see a "killer app" at launch, like Tetris or Super Mario Bros. That said, I have far less patience in the year 2011. The Sega Dreamcast tipped the scale for what was considered acceptable for a system launch, and I'm not willing to go back.

Add in the fact that the 3DS' display seriously messes with my vision, and...well, maybe I'm just getting too old for this stuff. My heart lies in arcade video games, and those are a dying breed. I'm pretty happy with the Genesis and Saturn that's sitting on my desk, and the temtation to grab another Dreamcast is always strong. I'd much rather play around with a Gameboy Advance SP than a 3DS. Maybe that says something about the 3DS, and maybe that says something about me. I'll leave that mystery for you to solve.

Right now, I can't recommend the Nintendo 3DS, however reluctantly. Maybe my eyes will adjust and that cross-eyed strain won't become an issue. Maybe there will be some killer video games that really show off 3D as the Next Big Thing. But I'm not so sure about that. I certainly don't think yet another Zelda and Mario is going to do the trick. I want something new. Whatever happened to Nintendo's quirky, left-field mindset? Remember the early DS games like Wario Ware: Twisted, Yoshi: Touch & Go, Meteos, Animal Crossing, and Brain Training? Where did that indie spirit go?

What Would I Do if I Ran Sega?

2011-03-07T01:04:00.000-06:00

That's an interesting topic of discussion at NeoGAF right now. Obviously, if it were up to me, I'd bring back the Dreamcast. I wouldn't even bother with modern technology or new designs - I'd just bring back the good old Dreamcast we knew and loved a decade ago. Of course, I would probably sabotage everything in a Don Quixote bid to bring back the Saturn, this time with a ton of RAM and an emphasis on 2D video games. By the end of the month, I'd probably be standing on street corners selling pencils.

Obviously, hardware doesn't matter when we're talking about Sega. People loved the Genesis, Saturn and Dreamcast because of the great arcade games. If they'd just bring back those old school video games, everything would be fine. But I don't see a lot of action on that front, aside from the download services on the three major consoles...oh, and this little thing called Apple. And there's no denying that Sega lost most of its mojo after getting out of the hardware business.

Come back, Sega! All is forgiven! We're not angry about the Sega CD and 32X anymore. Bring back the Dreamcast, bring back the NFL2K series, and bring back Capcom's CPS2/3 arcade fighters.

The Biggest Dud This Side of Scott Walker

2011-03-06T23:56:00.000-06:00

Actually, no, that's not fair. Scott Walker was always a weasel and his reckless behavior as governor of Wisconsin should be a surprise to no one. Groove on Fight on Sega Saturn, however, is a genuine disappointment. I had such high hopes that I had discovered yet another quality fighting game on the Saturn. The console is, without question, God's Gift to Brawlers, so the standards are exceptionally high. Mediocre or middle-of-the-road simply won't cut it.

Take a look at Capcom's spectacular arcade games that use the 4mb cart. It's worth going to all the trouble of hacking a Sega Saturn and buying a Pro Action Replay just for the thrill of playing X-Men vs Street Fighter, Vampire Savior, Street Fighter Zero 3, and Marvel Super Heroes vs Street Fighter. Heck, you don't need any other games beyond those four and you'll be happy for the rest of your days. Well, kids, I know Capcom and Capcom is a friend of mine. Atlus is no Capcom.

Groove on Fight could just as well be a Super NES game, with its tiny characters and virtually-nonexistent animation. I have no idea why this game requires a 1mb RAM cart; either the programmers were incredibly sloppy with their coding, or the publishers believed the allure of the added memory would attract more fans. Either way, it was never needed, as there's barely anything on the screen anyway. Don't let screenshots fool you! Still photos look very nice, yes - but once you see fights play out in real time on your Saturn, that sinking feeling will hit within seconds. Yuck.

I'm trying to remember Atlus' Power Instinct series, and it barely registers in my mind. I don't think it was ever any good, and I doubt many old school gamers would remember, either. These guys were just one of many cheap, retro-grade copycats struggling to cash in on the Street Fighter 2 craze of the early '90s. Yuck! My head hurts just thinking about it...I hope Time Killers is never resurrected.

If I were you, I wouldn't waste my time on Groove on Fight. For heaven's sake, please don't buy the disc! Get the amazing Capcom 4meg fighters! Get Asuka 120%, or Sonic Council, or Astra Superstars if you want your 2D fighting game fix. Once you have all those classics spinning away on your Saturn, you won't have time for anything else.

If you want a review score...I dunno, how 'bout a 3 out of 10? Does that sound good?

Photos - John Madden Football Series on Sega Genesis

2011-02-21T01:07:00.000-06:00

The screenshots move right down the series: John Madden Football (1991), John Madden Football '92, John Madden Football '93, Madden NFL '94, Madden NFL '95, Madden NFL '96, Madden NFL '97.

It's quite amazing to see how John Madden Football evolved during its years on the Sega Genesis, beginning with the original cartridge in 1990. True, the football game began on the home computers, but it was Scott Orr and Mark Lesser's Genesis adaptation where the iconic classic was born. And it's remarkable to see just how solid the original gameplay engine proved to be.

Today, the Madden series continues to dominate, but it's really only by default. The games have been stagnant for years; perhaps this is because there are no competitors like NFL2K, perhaps this is because the video game sport has essentially been perfected. I'll leave that for you to decide. But there's no question that the Genesis titles continue to reign supreme. This is where sports video games became great.

Since I've been playing a lot of Genesis Madden this past week, I'd like to write more detailed posts on each version. For that, I need more playing time to better understand what makes one year stand apart from another. Madden '93 was my favorite back in the day, and Madden '96 is the weakest in the pack, but they all play a great game of football. Time for another round!

Photos - NHLPA Hockey '93 (Genesis)

2011-02-16T01:19:00.000-06:00

I've forgotten how much fun the NHL Hockey series on Sega Genesis can be. Gratuitous violence has never made me laugh so much. This really was the sports game that made EA's fortune back in the day. I'm having a lot of fun getting back into the groove, knocking hockey players down, starting fights, causing massive head wounds from cross checks.

Today, it's commonly agreed that NHL '94 is the peak of the series on Genesis, if not the best hockey game ever. It certainly strikes that crucial balance between the crushing barbarism of the early titles with the more nuanced strategy of later installments. And one-timers absolutely make the game shine. That said, I'd like to give a shout-out to the equally brilliant NHLPA '93. This is the one with the massive head wounds and the fights. And what more do ya want from video game hockey?

It's really something to see the days when an EA Sports sequel has new features worth noting. NHLPA '93 lists over 20 additions and improvements over the original 1991 NHL Hockey. Faster speed, new moves and animations, smarter AI, manual control of goalies, signature moves, shattering the plexiglass, yadda yadda. I'm really impressed at how much work Hi Score Productions put into these titles.

For me, the first three NHL Hockey games are the best, and these Genesis carts are ridiculously cheap and easy to find, so it's easy to add each one to your library.

"Justifiable Homicide"

2011-02-15T13:23:00.000-06:00

South Dakota Republicans have a bill in the South Dakota legislature which would classify killing abortion doctors as "justifiable homicide." This would roughly have the effect of making it legal to shoot doctors.

Personally, I think this civilization is doomed, anyway (lalala, no such thing as global warming), so at least I'll have some quality entertainment as the crazies drive us over the cliff. A couple more shootings and mass killings is just what this country needs right now.

The Putting Six-Year-Olds Back to Work in the Coal Mines Act of 2011

2011-02-15T13:07:00.000-06:00

This is why I love Republicans so much. Missouri state Senator Jane Cunningham has introduced a bill in her state which would eliminate child labor laws. Smithers, get those children back to the coal mines where they belong!

I'd just like to take this moment to thank the nation's voters, especially the "undecided" voters, for putting the Republicans back in charge of everything. This was really well thought out.

Revolution Number Nine

2011-02-11T11:17:00.000-06:00

Bye Bye, Mubarak! Don't let the door hit you on the way out. And take The Dark Lord Saruman while yer at it. Let there be no more tyrants and corrupt client states in our world.

A great day for Egypt and the Mideast. The revolution in Tunisia sent a shockwave across the entire region, but that's nothing compared to this. How many people in other Mideast nations will feel empowered to stand up for their rights? Who's next? Sudan? Jordan? Algeria? Yemen? Bahrain? Dare I dream...Saudi Arabia and Iran? As an American, I would gladly pay six dollars for a gallon of gas if it meant these people had freedom and democracy. Let's hope for the best.

Photos - Battle Garegga (Saturn)

2011-02-08T14:15:00.000-06:00

Continuing my Sega Saturn kick (can't ya tell?), here are some excellent screenshots from Battle Garegga, one of the system's finest arcade shoot-em-ups. There are countless overhead scrolling shooters on Saturn, so it's easy to become lost in the crowd, but Battle Garegga is a masterful example of the genre at its finest, and very close to the classic Toaplan arcade shooters that I love so much.

Like all overhead shooters on the Saturn, this game has the option to play in regular 4:3 mode, or in sideways 3:4 mode (Tate). Since the arcade games use monitors turned on their side, Tate mode allows for a fuller picture, uncompressed, and as close to the original game as possible. The better Saturn titles will also allow you to shift the joypad controls 90 degrees, so you can play as a side-scroller, a very welcome move over the other option, which is to lie down on the couch and literally play the game sideways. Heh. Yeah, it's usually worth it if you have a larger television.

The goal of Battle Garegga is the same as every other shoot-em-up, pure adrenaline and reflexes and tense skill. This is classic video gaming to its core. Explosions, more explosions, and when you're successfully able to dodge impossible arrays of bullets and missiles...yet more explosions. Truly, this is a pop culture monument to the ADHD Generation. And you could get your thrills, for 25 cents a hit.

Street Fighter Alpha 2 on Saturn

2011-02-07T14:09:00.000-06:00

My current go-to game on Sega Saturn is Street Fighter Alpha 2. I've always been a big fan of fighting games, going back to Archer MacLean's International Karate Championship on the Commodore 64 and Atari 800. Street Fighter remains the king, as far as I'm concerned, and thank heavens for Capcom's dedicated devotion to Sega's home consoles. This is one of my favorite Sega Saturn titles.

I was a great fan of SF2: Champion Edition, but steadily lost interest with each successive revision and each new $70 cartridge that arrived on store shelves every nine months. By the end of the 16-bit era, I was burned out, and I'm guessing most gamers were, too. That's when Capcom began to branch out with different fighting games in a more anime style. Darkstalkers was the first one I remember, and that was a lot of fun; it was followed up by Nightwarriors, which is even better (and a rare opportunity for Saturn fans to have one over their Playstation friends).

Street Fighter Alpha was a good change of pace for the aging franchise. I felt, at the time, that it was a bit too lean on the content side, not enough characters or environments or new fighting moves. Fortunately, it seems Capcom was nurturing a healthy competition within their arcade ranks, with the Darkstalkers series and all the Marvel Comics fighters, each one better than the last. Heck, if nobody else besides SNK was going to compete, then I guess Capcom had to compete with itself. And in this environment we get Street Fighter Alpha 2.

I think it's easy to overlook Alpha 2 today, particularly with Alpha 3 and Third Strike waiting in the wings. But I defy anyone to stop playing Alpha 2 once they've begun. It has a certain charm all its own, that sense of newfound freedom, as though Capcom's designers and programmers were finally let loose from Street Fighter 2's long shadow. This was now a new series, and it allowed for fresher ideas, faster action, more intense competition. At this point, the Alpha series truly comes into its own.

The character roster is tilted a little too heavily towards the Shotokan fighters, which are all reworkings of the Ken & Ryu Dragon-Punch-Fireball arsenal. But there are plenty of newer fighters who don't fit into the old paradigm, like Rose and Gen and all those cats from Final Fight. I especially enjoy the Final Fight influence, which is bigger than ever. Capcom fan-service in all its glory.

There's still a good balance between old and new techniques, and it's such a relief that all the controls fit withing the paradigm of quarter-circle moves. I'm not being overwhelmed with too many moves, like I am with the Virtua Fighter-inspired 3D fighters. I can never remember half the moves in Dead or Alive on the Saturn (a game I dearly love), and that's really not a problem with Alpha 2.

I wouldn't at all be surprised if there were gamers out there who enjoy Alpha 2 more than Alpha 3. It's probably just a question of which arcade game you fed the most quarters and who you made friends with. It's reassuring to know that the great video games never really go out of style or lose their edge. This game sits in a nice, comfortable groove. It's not the epic everything-but-the-kitchen-sink that is Alpha 3, nor the back-to-basics-but-not-really style of Third Strike. It's just solid Street Fighter action, with enough familiarity to keep you from feeling lost, and enough new faces to keep you from becoming bored. And Saturn fans have another 2D triumph to crow about. The Playstation, mighty as it is with 3D polygons, could rarely compete in the 2D arena. In that sphere, Sega was the king; a rare triumph for a contender on the decline.

Video - Mass Destruction (Saturn)

2011-02-07T04:04:00.000-06:00

Now here's an oldschool video game that still kicks. No story, no movie scenes, no Hollywood flash, no attempt at creating "art." Mass Destruction is an action game that delivers exactly what the title promises: you pilot a tank and proceed to detonate everything in sight. It's very satisfying to smash down trees, blow up buildings, fire rockets at enemy tanks, set a flamethrower on hapless soldiers, and run over the ones you've missed. This is pure Rambo-style video gaming at its best.

Mass Destruction was released on PC, Playstation and Saturn, but the Saturn version runs in its glorious high-resolution mode (a sharper resolution than Sega Dreamcast, amazingly). The programmers put the extra effort to really take advantage of the hardware, which very much went against the grain of that era. Most PSX games were given short shrift on Saturn. Kudos to the programmers for all their dedication and hard work.

Photos - Steep Slope Sliders

2011-02-07T03:49:00.000-06:00

While searching the Google for anything related to Steep Slope Sliders, I found these excellent screenshots. Thank goodness someone was groovy enough to preserve this Saturn cult classic on the internets. In fact, I kinda feel like playing a couple runs myself...if only I had a copy. I really have to find this videogame again.

Yes, the graphics are blocky and unshaded in that Sega Saturn way, but it has a certain charm. The mountains definitely have character, moreso than the other snowboarding games I've run across. Cave - yes, the shoot-em-up crew - designed some wicked clever courses. There's a sense of real danger present, of the possibility of careening out of control...I love it. Now if only there were some more violent wipeouts, like the original Tony Hawk Pro Skater (which seems strikingly similar to Steep Slope Sliders), we'd really be in business.

Video - Steep Slope Sliders (Saturn)

2011-02-07T03:36:00.000-06:00

I found this terrific gameplay video of cult classic Steep Slope Sliders on Sega Saturn. As a late-era Saturn title, it's really quite excellent, and the richly detailed environments continue to impress me in the year 2011. Imagine that. Many gamers consider this to be the best snowboarding game of the 32/64-bit era, and I'd have to agree. It's easier to get a handle on these controls and just skate around, and that really makes all the difference.

Kirby's Epic Yarn

2010-10-17T16:57:00.001-05:00

Guess what just arrived in stores today? I'm an old-school gamer, as if you couldn't guess, heh heh. So I'm rooting for Kirby's Epic Yarn and hope it becomes a hit. Sometime after the Vikings-Cowboys game, I'll give it a spin. Early reviews have been enthusiastic, and it's a bit funny to see all these macho boys suddenly turn into gooey teenage girls. This may be the "cutest" video game ever created.

Success breeds success. New Super Mario Bros DS led to Super Mario 5 on Wii. Now we are seeing the new Kirby, and next month, the new Donkey Kong Country. I hope Nintendo is paying attention. Now if we could only get more games like this, and fewer vanity projects like Metroid: Other M and Super Mario Galaxy 2. Please please please let this game be good.

Super Mario 25th Anniversary Wii Coming to Japan and Europe

2010-10-11T14:01:00.001-05:00

...But where is the American version? That would be a curious oversight.

This Wii package certainly looks impressive, with the red colors, Wii Remote Plus, Super Mario 5 as the pack-in...and is that the actual, arcade Donkey Kong? I would certainly hope so. I wouldn't be surprised if this was only the NES version. Nintendo certainly is cheap enough.

Speaking of which, the 25Th Anniversary Super Mario All-Stars (Super Mario Collection in Japan) is another brilliant-looking package, with soundtrack CD and large booket, but it's really just the 1993 Super NES cartridge. Couldn't Nintendo have bothered to remake this collection using the Super Mario 5 engine? That would be a worthy celebration of their most successful videogame. Sadly, no.

This only reinforces the cynical impression that Nintendo's superstar producers run the show, and to hell with the president and the company strategy. To hell with that Expanded Audience who bought the Wii, for that matter. 2D Mario is Nintendo's most insanely successful cash cow this side of Pokemon. 3D Mario is nowhere near as successful (Mario 5 outsold Galaxy 2 by a 4:1 margin). But Shigeru Miyamoto doesn't want to make side-scrolling Super Mario. He wants to do what he wants, what makes him feel good. And if he and his fellow producers like Yoshio Sakamoto (Metroid: Other M) and Eiji Aounuma (Zelda) collapse the Wii's momentum by refusing to make games the market demands, then so be it.

Oh, well, the least Nintendo of America could do is release this cool red Mario Wii box. Perhaps this will spike sales enough for the executives to the hint.

Nintendo Unveiles a Wii Remote Plus That Will Never Be Used

2010-09-24T14:03:00.000-05:00

Yes, it's nice that the doomed-to-obscurity Flingsmash will be graced by the new Wii Remote Plus - which integrates the Motion Plus accessory into the standard controller - and that can only be a good thing. I'm looking forward to this game because it promises to be everything the Wii badly needs - a multiplayer, motion-controlled arcade game. That said, today's announcement (in truth a goof by Gamestop) only leaves me feeling frustrated.

The Nintendo Wii is hurting in global sales for one key reason - Nintendo simply cannot be bothered to make games for the damned thing. I remember something Shigeru Miyamoto said when Wii Music arrived at the end of 2008. He said that the company had finally achieved all its goals; that is to say, they had made all the Wii motion-control games they originally envisioned, mission accomplished. In other words, Nintendo made their four Wii Series games, and now they're done. It's time to move on to the next gadget.

Now we are coming into the final week of September, 2010. To date, Nintendo has released exactly four games for the Wii. Just four. All were sequels, only one was a moderate hit, and none fulfilled the promise of motion control games ala Wii Sports or Wii Play. And nothing whatsoever for the Motion Plus.

Yes, we are coming into the all-important 4th Quarter of the year, where Wii Party, Kirby's Epic Yarn, and Donkey Kong Country Returns are potential blockbusters. But notice that each of these come from outside developers. Among Nintendo's internal studios, only one title remains - Zelda: Skyward Sword. After that...???

I really have the sinking feeling that Nintendo is finished with the Wii. The conventional wisdom is that 2010 is the console's final year, and that the Wii 2 (whatever it's called) will be revealed sometime next year. Of course, a "Wii HD" would violate and contradict everything in Nintendo's strategy since 2004, but who can say at this point? They're not making any games, and they're not supporting a console that has sold over 75 million units. Why is this? Who is responsible? What's the plan? If these questions are not asked by journalists, then they will be asked by investors and stockholders.

What's the point in a Wii Remote Plus? Nintendo could care less about the Motion Plus. If they did care, they would have bothered to make some games that require its use. They would have bothered to follow through on their promise of motion controls, the kind of motions and ideas expressed in Wii Sports Resort. Hell, they would have bothered to do something, anything. Instead, where the M+ is concerned, Nintendo has done absolutely nothing.

I've seen stronger first-party support from Atari Corp when they were dying. Nintendo has, thus far, utterly failed to take any meaningful action or offer any significant level of support for their Wii console since its momentum collapsed at the end of 2008. Thank goodness for Super Mario Bros 5, is all I can say. If it wasn't for 2D Mario and Wii Sports Resort, the Wii would be dead and buried.

Do you think we're ever going to see another 2D Super Mario or another Wii Sports Resort? Fat chance. You'll see another Wii Music before that ever happens.

Alright, that's enough of my cranky, "Grampa Simpson" rant. Everybody go play outside for a while and get some sunshine.

Donkey Kong Country Returns - New Trailer!

2010-09-22T17:43:00.000-05:00

Hey, look, Nintendo actually bothered to make a game for the Wii! And it's Donkey Kong Country 4....with Rambi the Rhino! And I get to smash blocks? Yeeehh! Game designers take note: I love video games that let me smash things...blocks, rocks, alien spaceships, giant robots with bad Japanese dubbing...you get the point.

Nintendo may be slackers most of the year, but they always deliver the Christmas presents every kid wants. All the oldschool gamers who made Super Mario 5 a blockbuster will bum-rush the stores for Donkey Kong. We're hungry for more video games like this. How many times must I say it? We want videogames!

Last Bronx on Sega Saturn

2010-09-22T14:06:00.001-05:00

Last Bronx was Sega's final, great 3D fighting game for the Saturn. This title arrived in the US just when Sega of America decided to prematurely kill the console, and so it was never allowed the time to build an audience and become a flagship hit ala Virtua Fighter 2. Thankfully, its reputation as a Saturn classic is secured.

I'm obviously a big fan of Sega arcade games, and fighting game in particular, but I've never really spent enough time playing Last Bronx. It is a more refined take on the Virtua Fighter formula - block, punch, kick - but it still lacks the iconic characters and wondrous color design of Virtua Fighter 2. The fighters are a bit generic, the colors a bit flat and grey and same-ish.

Thankfully, Sega's AM3 studio handled the home conversion, and you can see the technical brilliance as the Saturn's 3D powers are pushed to their limit. The faked 2D backgrounds are eerily convincing, especially in that garage stage with the low ceilings. The speed is fast and the action is tough, and before you know it, you're bashing away with multi-hit combos and beating your friends senseless.

Last Bronx was lucky enough to be a weapons-based fighter, at a time when such a thing was rare. Namco's Soul Edge was the main competitor, and their Dreamcast sequel, Soul Calibur, would become one of the greatest fighting games ever made. Again, I don't think AM3's game is quite that good, but it's excellent and fits perfectly in the Saturn library.

The Japanese release of Last Bronx also included a second disc, which contained move lists, tutorials, movies, and other cool bonuses. That would have been nice to see in the States. Heck, by the end of 1997, any Saturn games would have been nice to see. Lucky for us, we did get this one.

Soulless Corruption

2010-09-21T14:05:00.003-05:00

This essay on Sega and Team Andromeda's Saturn classic Panzer Dragoon perfectly captures one of my greatest criticisms of the video game industry: the corruption of the gaming "press." I happen to know this from first-hand experience, as a freelance reviewer for Gamepro and a couple other prozines whose names I forget. This corruption, this mindless servitude to a soulless, corporate machine, is the very cancer that is killing video games:

One of the greatest paradoxes of the gaming world is its obsession with the new, and 'up to date'.

From a commercial perspective, this makes complete sense: game companies primarily benefit from sales of their latest wares, so this 'new is good' message is incessantly pushed, not just through relentless advertising and sequels, but also by the industry's dedicated press, who to this day remain in the most part completely corrupt. Brown envelopes are a core element of a game magazine's budget, usually hiding under the moniker of 'advertising'.

Creatively speaking, this approach has doomed the art of game-making. The market is now swamped with utterly disposable products, while one of the most important traits of a game - its durability - is seldom addressed.

Back in the early 1990s, the videogame fanzines were the underground alternative to the corrupt "prozines," who only served at the behest of their advertisers in the industry. They were perfectly fine with this arrangement, since, hey, we're gettin' paid to play video games! For such a low price they sold themselves out. And we zine editors were the arch-enemy. I still hold out hope that the internet would inspire a similar rebel spirit, but that doesn't seem to have happened. If anything, the corporatist grip of the game industry is even tighter today. Magazines and websites are little more than fanboys - tools of marketing.

And always, the endless rush for greater horsepower and more features and additional features that nobody asked for. Why does the Xbox 360 exist? It exists so Microsoft can achieve their ancient dream of a set-top box that as a convergence of digital media in the living room. Why does the Playstation 3 exist? Because Sony wanted to push the Blu-Ray format, and now 3D television. This has nothing to do with videogames, and to our surprise, the general public has rejected these overpriced, overpowered dinosaurs.

There's no reason why Playstation 2 couldn't continue to thrive. Heck, there's no reason Sega Dreamcast had to die; but the game industry demanded otherwise, and that was that. And they have slowly stripped the soul out of video games, turning everything into empty product, a Virtual Hollywood. Yuck. To hell with all of 'em. And to hell with the prozines for being such willing puppets.

This is why I hold out such hope for Nintendo, despite all the ways they don't seem to get it. Sometimes I think they lucked out with the Wii. They tapped into a vast audience that is hungry for traditional video games, and I don't think they really understood the impact they would have. Wii Sports just swept over us like a storm, like a fad that just won't die. Here we are in the year 2010, and Sony has just released their own Wii Sports knockoff. Imagine that. Of course, the Sony and Microsoft clones are just that, clones. It's more like something conjured by the marketing department after focus-group testing. The technology may be competent, but the inspiration, the quality, is nonexistant.

Nintendo is now the standard-bearer for Arcade Games, whether they like it or not. Their "superstar" designers certainly don't like it; they'd rather play "movie director" like the rest of this stupid industry. But the market has spoken, and the public has voted with their wallets. Look to the Wii Series. Look to Super Mario DS and Super Mario 5 on the Wii. Look to Pokemon Black & White. Those games are selling like gangbusters for a reason. See what's not selling? Disposable industry "product." Nintendo would be mad fools to follow the industry's march into oblivion.

It was never chisled into stone that the videogame would last forever, maintaining an endless high. It may finally fall out of favor and disappear, just as pinball machines have disappeared, just as vinyl records have disappeared. The Era of the Video Game may one day be seen as a cultural curiosity, a period stretching from the mid-Seventies to the turn of the century. The question is who, if anyone, will be able to arrest the seemingly permanent decline of this industry. The path of the industry is the path to extinction.

Trailer - Kirby's Epic Yarn

2010-09-21T08:05:00.000-05:00

I know it's always fashionable to dance on the grave of Nintendo Wii, and this summer has been more irritating than usual, but let's not count Nintendo out yet. Case in point: here's the latest trailer for Kirby's Epic Yarn, a dazzling 2D platformer with an astonishing visual style. Everything is rendered in fabric.

It's funny how success breeds success. Super Mario Bros DS became a blockbuster smash hit, and this inspired Nintendo to finally make Super Mario Bros 5 for the Wii. Another blockbuster smash. Now here comes the third wave of old school video games: Kirby and Donkey Kong. Both will be excellent games. Kirby is being handled by the studio responsible for 2008's Wario Land: Shake It, so the programmers have some experience with the Wii hardware.

The game industry continues its death spiral, and the vultures are licking their chops in anticipation of Nintendo's inevitable fall. Then Nintendo drops Mario 5 and all hell breaks loose. I don't expect the new Kirby do pull in those numbers, but the lesson still remains: people want video games. Not "art," not "movies," not self-indulgent vanity projects like Metroid: Other M, but genuine, old school video games.

Just look at the numbers for the new Pokemon in Japan. Damn thing sold two and a half million immediately. The public is starved for real videogames, and that need is not being met. Hence, the decline of the game industry.

Asuka 120% Burning Fest Limited on Sega Saturn

2010-09-21T00:49:00.000-05:00

I couldn't resist tracking down this new gameplay video of Asuka 120% Burning Fest. Limited (whew!), one of the very best 2D fighting games for the Sega Saturn. I wrote about this game back in 2007, when I discovered it after scoring my third Saturn. Now it's 2010, and I'm looking for my fourth.

Asuka 120% has a dedicated, if small, fan following, as the series migrated from the FM Towns to PC Engine to Playstation and Saturn. The Saturn version, Burning Fest. Limited, is generally considered the series' best. This is a smart and frantic fighter, full of those insane 30-hit combos that skilled players love to pull off. The combo and parry system has actually influenced other fighting games, such as the Guilty Gear series.

I still wish the backgrounds were animated, but the software studio that created this series was very small, and I think they did an excellent job, probably as good a job as was possible. Don't kid yourself that this all-girl anime fighter is a pushover. Asuka 120% BFL will challenge any brawler out there, and give you a serious run for your money. This is one of the Saturn's true hidden gems.

Rabbit - 2D Anime Fighter on Saturn

2010-09-20T18:45:00.001-05:00

Here's another quality 2D fighter on Sega Saturn, and definitely one of the weirder ones. It's called Rabbit, and it was the work a Japanese software house called Aorn. They created Rabbit for the arcades, where it languished in obscurity, and was later ported to the Saturn. Electronic Arts published the title in Japan, as they were trying to break into the Land of the Rising Sun (without success, of course).

What sort of fighting game is Rabbit? Well, it's just kinda weird. Eight colorful characters square off against one another, and they range from the usual anime suspects to the bizzare. There's a crazy clown character, who apparently is a singer in a rock band or something. There are a couple crazy, big guys. There's a blue-haired girl with a parasol. Everything is wrapped in a cartoonish, mainland Asian style, complete with the usual projectiles and combos.

The game's "hook" is that each fighter is accompanied by an animal spirit who floats on their shoulder, cheering them on, and contributing an extra special attack or two. Defeated characters lose their animal to the winner, and as the game progresses, you can switch between your animal helpers during the fights. It's an interesting idea, that's for sure.

The Saturn conversion of Rabbit is very solid, although clearly a step below the arcade original. Colors are washed out, slightly dull, animation frames have been sacrificed, and the fighters appear strangely pixelated. I'm really not sure why that is. Graphics zoom in and out in the classic Neo-Geo style, which was very common with '90s brawlers, and goodness knows the Saturn has mastered many SNK fighters. Heck, just look at Capcom's 4-Meg masterpieces to see how amazing 2D Saturn games can look.

In any case, I'll have to spend more time playing this game. I think it's very good, very solid, and Saturn fans should be thrilled to have another great, "lost" 2D brawler in their collection. So that said...diplomacy aside...the best non-Capcom, non-SNK fighting games for the console remain Sonic Council, Asuka 120%, and Astra Superstars. Those are the must-haves. Add those to your library first.

Trailer - Michael Jackson: The Experience on Nintendo Wii

2010-09-20T14:02:00.001-05:00

Remember, kids, the Michael Jackson dance game will be a Nintendo exclusive this Christmas. Are there any doubts this won't become a monster hit? It surely would have been a critical title for Sony and Microsoft, as Move and Kinect struggle to win hearts and minds during these crucial months. Fortunately for Nintendo, that will never happen. If there were any true videogame journalists, they would be digging into this story and discovering all the details. Nintendo pulled off a coup with this title.

Just Dance 2 arrives at the beginning of October, and Michael Jackson follows a month later. With luck, both games will become blockbuster hits with the Expanded Audience. Everyone I know in Bogota will be begging me to bring home these games for Christmas.

Oh, and this commercial is very well made. Reminds me of last year's Just Dance ad campaign, only with a larger budget attached. Very little in-game footage shown, but the experience - ah, there's that word! - is what is being sold. This will succeed because it was in the minds of everyone who ever played JD. They have to make a Michael Jackson dancing game! Well, kids, congratulations. You got your wish. Happy holidays.

Video - Wii Sports Resort Table Tennis

2010-09-20T08:05:00.000-05:00

Sony's Move controller was released last week, and right now, gamers are taking Sports Champions through the ropes. Early word is very positive from the NeoGAF crowd, especially for the table tennis event. We'll see how things develop and whether or not it becomes Sony's answer to Wii Sports.

Now here's some table tennis action from Wii Sports Resort. This is just about my favorite event in the game, after bowling (of course!). What impresses me is how Nintendo fully captures the arcade experience; this is not a simulation of table tennis, but a focused approximation. The game is distilled to its pure essence, a Pong for the new century. It's immediately accessible and always thrilling, especially with two players.

It will be interesting to see how Sports Champions table tennis compares a few months from now. Will the greater degree of control make for a better game? Or will the more simulation-like experience become a stumbling block? In a sense, this is the ancient feud between arcade and computer games. We could be talking about PS3 vs. Wii, or Commodore 64 vs. NES.

Sony's Move Has Calibration Problems

2010-09-18T13:39:00.001-05:00

Aha, so this is why we aren't seeing any demo stations for Sony's Move controller. The damned thing just doesn't work. Read this discussion thread on Sony's website, watch this Youtube video, and see for yourself. Ah, nothing better than to spend a Saturday on the couch with your favorite beer mug and some video...what the heck?! This thing doesn't work!

If it is true that Move requires you to stand two meters away from the camera, this would explain why Sony hasn't demoed the peripheral or games in stores. The damned thing simply wouldn't work. This would also explain Sony's strange silence on their newest toy. This has easily been the quietest system launch in the history of video games.

Hilarious.

Michael Jackson: The Experience on Nintendo Wii

2010-09-18T00:36:00.000-05:00

Yes! We have screenshots of the highly anticipated Michael Jackson: The Experience dance game for Nintendo Wii. Ubisoft released new media for the game, and it looks...spectacular.

Also, did you hear the news that the Kinect and Move versions of Michael Jackson have been postponed until early next year? I hadn't thought of the implications until this week's Tokyo Game Show. But now, it seems clear to me that Nintendo played a hand. The holiday season is where the video game business makes most of its money. And Nintendo now has an exclusive lock on the two biggest dance games of the year - MJ and Just Dance 2. These are system sellers, kids. Don't doubt that for a second.

One of the biggest video game stories of the year has been Nintendo's aggressive and deepening involvement with third-party software developers. They have collaborated with Capcom, Treasure, Tecmo, THQ, Activision/Eurocom, and now Ubisoft. The only game that seemed to slip from their fingers is NBA Jam, a game that Electronic Arts sabotaged by giving to the HD Twins, literally, for free. Aside from that, Satoru Iwata has been very successful.

Zero Divide: Final Conflict on Sega Saturn

2010-09-17T08:06:00.001-05:00

Zero Divide was a robot fighting game that appeared on the Playstation in 1995. The gameplay was rooted in Sega's Virtua Fighter style, with Guard-Punch-Kick and focus on martial arts moves, and it was very enjoyable. After all, who doesn't enjoy futuristic fighting robots? Thankfully, the painful memories of....bleech...Rise of the Robots has been forgotten in time.

Zoom, the software studio, created a sequel on the PSX, and then, in a surprising move, brought the third game in the series to the Sega Saturn in Japan. Zero Divide: Final Conflict is probably the best game in the series, certainly the fastest and most refined, and it makes sense that this game would appear on a Sega console, whose best 3D polygon brawlers all owe a debt to Virtua Fighter.

Obviously, Zero Divide was never brought to the States. It sits alongside the other 367 or so Sega Saturn classics from Japan that Sega of America wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. They relied almost solely on Western developers, who, at that time, were nowhere near as skilled as the Japanese. You can see the divide between East and West on the Saturn, and the difference is striking.

To be fair, Playstation swept the American scene almost immediately, and so, most software developers focused their energy on Sony; Sega might get a quick port, which was almost always inferior, and this fueled the momentum to the Playstation side. Programmers and programmers simply never spent the time needed to learn Saturn's complex architecture.

Given this knowledge, the decision by Sega of America's executives to almost completely shun Japanese Saturn games - especially 2D games - proved to be a terrible miscalculation. Sega went into battle with all its best games, Saturn's strongest games, kept off the playing field. A crippling defeat at the hands of Sony and Nintendo was all but inevitable. And it was easily avoidable.

Okay, enough with the tragic history lesson and back to Zoom's Zero Divide: Final Conflict. This is one of my favorite 3D fighting games on the Saturn, and it's also one of the most technically accomplished. The programmers had successfully mastered the dual CPUs, and you can see the results: stunning robot designs, skilled lighting effects, fully 3D graphics, all running at 60fps in Saturn's high-resolution graphics mode of 704x480. Everything looks terrific.

Take a close look at the robots in the video clip. Notice the subtlety of the lighting and shading as they move around the ring. This is much more refined, in a design sense, than the PSX, which was masterful at shading and lighting, but today often looks gaudy and over-syrupy. I'm quite impressed. The high resolution and fast framerate are also crucial factors, and I think this and similar Saturn games like Virtua Fighter 2 have aged so gracefully. This is the direction that game design evolved, as hardware became more powerful and the novelty of endless Gouraud shading wore off.

I'm impressed to see walls surrounding some of the fighting arenas, and these are 2D bitmap graphics instead of polygons (Zero Divide on Playstation had some terrific polygon backgrounds). This is the model that everyone followed after VF2 showed the way, and for the hardware, it's quite skillful. That said, I think these walls are a bit low-res and pixelated. These graphics should have been handled better. But, of course, I'm nitpicking, and it's 13 years after the fact. One of the joys of oldschool gaming is learning to make your piece with the limits of technology.

Zero Divide remains an obscure game for the Saturn, much like Anarchy in the Nippon, another spectacular 3D brawler. There are precious few articles on websites or videos on Youtube. I'm not sure what this means to the price of import copies on Ebay, but at least we can download the ISOs for free. Dedicated fans and collectors, of course, will want the physical disc, and they should be encouraged. This is a terrific Saturn game to surprise and impress your friends. Heck, add a few more classic Japanese titles to your library, and your Saturn will become your main console in the living room. Imagine that.

Marvel Super Heroes Vs. Street Fighter - Sega Saturn's Final Masterpiece

2010-09-14T13:49:00.002-05:00

Marvel Super Heroes Vs. Street Fighter may be the best of Capcom's 4Meg-enhanced Saturn games. Just wait until you see this game in motion, with four fighters jumping in and out, blasting away with their astonishing super moves. The visuals in this game are chaotic, and yet there is no slowdown whatsoever. And there is virtually no loading time whatsoever. This may very well be Sega Saturn's crowning technical achievement.

Thanks to the 4-Meg RAM cartridge, MSH Vs. Street Fighter is absolutely arcade perfect. Every frame of animation has been retained, as every visual and audio effect, every kick and punch and special attacks...everything. I cannot emphasize enough how incredible this game looks and plays. As this was one of the final games developed for Sega Saturn, it represents a final, thrilling triumph of an era. Never again would traditional, 2D video games play such a prominent role on a console. From here on out, 2D would become a precious rarity, rarely championed, barely noticed. In the year 1999, Arcade Games were out; Cinematic Games were in.

This moment also marks, sadly, Capcom's peak as well. There would be future successes with Marvel Vs. Capcom and Street Fighter 3, but these would be the final triumphs. The CPS-3 board, despite its amazing power to render animation-quality graphics, would never become successful as CPS-2. And that's unfortunate, because I see no reason why these games should be abandoned. Heck, I'm kind of curious to know if the Saturn could have handled a perfect translation of SF3: Third Strike. Maybe an even larger RAM cart would be necessary. I'm fairly certain a Saturn Third Strike would kick everybody's ass.

I'm just as certain that Capcom would continue to be successful if they revived the CPS-3 arcade board and made more 2D sprite-drawn games. That's very unlikely at this point; the company bosses have declared that polygons are here to stay, in the vein of Street Fighter 4. I still say these Saturn Vs. games look better. The older games were a lot more popular, too. Something to think about.

X-Men Vs. Street Fighter on Sega Saturn

2010-09-14T10:43:00.001-05:00

X-Men Vs. Street Fighter was the first game to utilize the 4-Megabyte RAM cartridge for Sega Saturn. This added memory turned a 2D powerhouse console into a behemoth. Now Saturn could deliver astonishing, jaw-dropping 2D arcade games with speed, fluidity and detail never before seen. It is no hyperbole that these are the greatest arcade conversions ever made. Good Lord, the Sega Dreamcast could not match this level of power and sophistication.

This game was nothing short of miraculous when it first arrived in the late '90s, and it's a testament to Capcom and Sega that future games would leave X-Men Vs. Street Fighter in the dust. This is an amazing video game, with stunning animation, precise controls, and amazingly fluid speed. The crossover appeal is a great attraction - has there ever been a better use of comic book characters in a video game? I love all the various Vs. games that Capcom delivered during this period.

X-Men Vs. Street Fighter is easily overshadowed by the manic intensity of Marvel Super Heroes Vs. Street Fighter, but there's no denying the spectacular animation and fluid gameplay. The core of the fighting game takes center stage, and it's something I greatly appreciate; the Versus series had yet to devolve into seisure-inducing visual assaults and button-mashing for its own sake. Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 was excellent on the Dreamcast, but nobody would mistake it for a serious fighter. You could just drag the controller across the carpet and do very well. Same for the new Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom on Nintendo Wii.

Once again, I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but none of the 4-Meg Saturn games ever left Japan. Fighting games were immensely popular in the arcades, and the Saturn's strength lie in 2D. So why didn't Sega of America bring these masterpieces to our shores? Ah, yes...Bernie Stolar's absurd notion that "2D is Dead," and that gritty, macho, Westernized 3D games would sell. It's funny to see how Sony made a mockery of these statements, as they brought many excellent 2D games, as well as RPGs and strategy games, to the Playstation. Saturn was never allowed to compete because the executives thought they knew better. Obviously, they were terribly, horribly wrong.

Ah, well, that's all in the past now. We can appreciate these fantastic games today, and thanks to the overwhelming dominance of 3D polygon graphics, the 2D Capcom fighters haven't aged a day. X-Men Vs. Street Fighter still looks amazing in 2010, and for that, we are all thankful.

Street Fighter Zero 3 on Sega Saturn

2010-09-13T14:09:00.001-05:00

Obviously, since I brought up Capcom's outstanding fighting games on Sega Saturn, I have to show Street Fighter Zero 3. This game is absolutely astounding. Even in the year 2010, I am left speechless. This may be the greatest arcade-to-home translation of all time. Even the mighty Dreamcast could not match the Saturn for 2D brawlers.

This game is the peak of the Street Fighter series. In addition to the new characters from the Zero/Alpha games, all the original Street Fighter 2 brawlers are included. There are two different speed settings, three different styles of super-combos, numerous game modes exlusive to the home versions (the same for PSX, Saturn, and Dreamcast), and the sharpest graphics and animation up to that point. Clearly, Capcom meant for Zero 3 to be the ultimate Street Fighter.

Personally, it's a toss-up between Zero/Alpha 3 and Street Fighter 3: Third Strike. Both games are very different, however, and I find they compliment one another perfectly. Zero 3 demonstrates all the innovations and flash of the Alpha series, while Third Strike is more strategic, a back-to-basics approach. They're both fantastic; indeed, here is one reason every gamer needs a Saturn and Dreamcast side-by-side.

How many must-have Saturn games from Japan have we uncovered? I've long since lost count. Sega of America executives like Bernie Stolar were guilty of criminal negligence. By declaring all 2D and arcade games obsolete, they all but guaranteed that Saturn would fall to the Playstation. But what would have happened if they played to the console's strengths, and brought home all these fighting games and shoot-em-ups and adventure-RPGs? I don't believe the tide of history could have been turned; the Sony Playstation was going to dominate the 5th Generation. But the gap between Sony and Sega would have been much smaller. Heck, Sega might have just saved themselves from death in the console market.

Imagine that. What if we still had the old Sega with us today? They just fell off a cliff after the Dreamcast died. It's no longer the same Sega. The old spark is long gone, and in its place now lies....nothing much. Ashes and faded memories.

Vampire Savior on Sega Saturn

2010-09-13T13:53:00.000-05:00

When it comes to 2D fighting games on the Saturn, there's no question: Capcom is the King. They supported Sega's consoles very strongly over the years, going back to all those stellar arcade titles on Genesis like Forgotten Worlds, Ghouls 'N Ghosts, Mercs and Strider. With Saturn, they opened the floodgates to their excellent brawlers, and this was their golden age of fighting games.

The arrival of the 1-Megabyte and, later, 4-Megabyte RAM cartridge enabled spectacular home conversions of arcade titles that were far beyond anything seen before. Indeed, the 4Meg Saturn games like X Men Vs Street Fighter, Street Fighter Zero 3, and Vampire Savior are literally "arcade perfect," even surpassing later arrivals on the Sega Dreamcast and Playstation 2. Truly, Saturn was a beast for 2D video games.

Here is an excellent gameplay video of Vampire Savior in action. This is the third title in the Darkstalkers series, which offers a monster-movie spin on the classic Street Fighter formula. The original game first appeared on the Sony Playstation, courtesy of Psygnosis. The Saturn conversion of Night Warriors: Darkstalker's Revenge absolutely smashed it to bits. Whatever Sony's strength with 3D polygons, there was no doubt among gamers that Saturn was the king of 2D.

Vampire Savior is the magnificent capstone to this excellent series. This game remains highly sought after by Saturn and fighting game fans, and eBay prices remain very expensive. Ultimate bragging rights are yours if you can secure a retail copy. With a good set of s-video cables, this game will look stunning on your brand new big screen TV. If anything, the Capcom Saturn fighters look more impressive today, since traditional sprite graphics have faded.

Obviously, I would like to see this art style kept alive. These games have not aged a day, and I'll bet that Capcom could continue to make arcade games for their CPS-2 and CPS-3 hardware. I know I would gladly pay for games of this caliber on the Nintendo Wii. Let the HD Twins have their overrated Street Fighter 4, with its clunky, freakish steroid mutants. The old school will always be the best. Watch Vampire Savior on the Saturn and tell me I'm wrong.

Video - Ninku (Saturn)

2010-09-13T01:51:00.000-05:00

And now, if only to prove that I am not a Sega Saturn fanboy, here is a look at an early Saturn fighting game that has not aged very well. It's name is Ninku, and it's based on a Japanese anime series. For some reason, a lot of anime shows were turned into fighting games; probably because those types of games were popular in the '90s, and it's an easy way to bring together a cast of characters. If you're used to importing or downloading Saturn titles, then you've seen a few examples of this.

Ninku was developed by Sega and published early in 1996. The graphics are a mixture of 2D animation sprites and 3D polygon backgrounds. It's a very interesting idea, and I have to admit, I am still impressed by these locations. The textures are detailed and everything looks very good, even though there's still that slight shaky movement as the camera pans around. Also, as there are no lighting effects or variations in color tones, the scenery does have a certain flat look. It's certainly a time capsule from Saturn's early days.

The character animation was good for its time, and I do try to be generous. It looks okay. Later fighting games on Saturn and Neo-Geo would feature far more fluid animation, and that makes Ninku feel a bit stiff. It's as though only key animation frames were used, and the in-betweens were entirely cut out.

To its credit, Sega did an excellent job of moving 2D sprites along a 3D world. The fighters knock each other back and forth, and they quickly spin around in circles. It's pretty cool to hit an opponent into the screen, even if they do become all pixelated. The camera quickly rotates and always keeps the player perspective locked in place. You can see the designers trying to think their way around the limitations of 2D, and whether sprite graphics could be integrated into the growing field of 3D fighers. Remember that 1995-6 was a period of experimentation for video game developers. The new 3D paradigm of Super Mario 64 and Tomb Raider had yet to arrive. Until then, everyone was just guessing.

The Saturn overflows with so many excellent fighting games that it's easy to become jaded. Ninku was never going to become more than a cult hit (although it should have been released in the West). The fighting engine is very basic, only a few standard and special moves, and little in the way of combos or complex techniques. This feels more like an early Street Fighter 2 knockoff from the 16-bit era.

Again, I'm feeling spoiled. Ninku will certainly entertain Saturn fans, and particularly anime and fighting game fans. It's not outstanding, but it's not terrible. It fits squarely into the, "Meh" category.

Video - Groove on Fight (Saturn)

2010-09-13T01:09:00.000-05:00

Alright, here's another video of a Sega Saturn classic from Japan, the colorful and brilliant 2D fighter, Groove on Fight. This is Atlus third title in their Power Instinct series, and it's an excellent game in its own right. The style is very close to SNK's The King of Fighter series on the Neo-Geo, with two-on-two teams, but it's far more goofy in its characters and special attacks.

I'm really impressed with this game. Strong and vibrant colors are always my style, and this sort of look has all but disappeared in the age of $30 million cinematic games. Perhaps it's just too difficult to impress gamers with Groove on Fight when they've got Modern Warfare 2 blasting away on their giant televisions. I would hope that there is room enough for both. Heck, I'd rather have a Sega Saturn in 2010 than any of today's consoles...and I may be a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

Video - Panzer Dragoon II Zwei

2010-09-13T00:45:00.000-05:00

Panzer Dragoon II Zwei was one of the rare Saturn games to include a widescreen viewing option. It didn't make much sense back in the mid-'90s, but it's very welcome today. Indeed, this game feels more open and spacious when stretched to HDTV proportions (and a good s-video cable, of course). NiGHTS was another Sega game that took advantage of widescreen.

This game looks absolutely spectacular. I read an old magazine article with Team Andromeda, the studio responsible for the Panzer Dragoon trilogy, where they revealed they had experience programming with parallel processors. Aha! So that's why they were so far ahead of anybody else on the Saturn. Dual CPUs was a relatively rare thing in 1995, and since most videogame programmers had no experience, their Saturn games suffered, while the Playstation, with its fast single CPU, was far easier to understand.

Throughout the 32-bit era, the Saturn was considered inferior to PSX with 3D polygon graphics, and goodness knows there are countless examples. But the Sega faithful have always insisted that, no, the Saturn was just difficult to come to grips with, and once mastered, its games will match or surpass anything by Sony. Panzer Zwei is a perfect illustration of this argument. This is a fantastic, smooth, and visually polished video game.

Thankfully, now that the 5th Console Generation is long past, we don't need to pick sides. We can enjoy the best of all the consoles, and appreciate the strengths of old rivals. Personally, I'd be thrilled to see a compilation disc of the Saturn Panzer Dragoon Trilogy on the PS3. You wouldn't even need to update the graphics - this is more than generous enough already.

Video - Dead or Alive (Saturn)

2010-09-13T00:05:00.001-05:00

Here's are a couple lengthy Youtube clips showing Tecmo's excellent Dead or Alive in action. Enjoy!

Photos - Dead or Alive (Saturn)

2010-09-12T23:56:00.000-05:00

The number of truly great Sega Saturn games that never left Japan is truly stunning. Here's one of the best-known examples - a superb arcade translation of Tecmo's Dead or Alive.

I watched a lot of gameplay videos from both the Saturn and Playstation version of Dead or Alive, and I have to admit, the Saturn version has aged far more gracefully. So many PS1 games smothered all the polygon graphics in gouraud shading and lighting effects. This art style was considered "cool" and cutting edge in the 1990s, and that's what developers and consumers wanted. But the years have not been kind.

Saturn Dead or Alive is focused on the fundamentals, things like a high frame rate, and a sharp, clear design to the character models. The result is much more pleasing to the eye, more direct, and less cluttered. The spectacular animation is allowed to shine on its own, and as a result, the video game has aged like fine wine.

I'm also greatly impressed by the use of 2D backgrounds to fake a fully 3D environment. Sega's AM2 did this for Virtua Fighter 2, and it's a brilliant and skillful piece of software engineering. An arcade-to-home translation depends greatly on what is cut out - Yars' Revenge on Atari is the pinnacle of this theory. You have to make the strengths and limitations of the hardware work for you. And so Tecmo follows AM2's lead in Dead or Alive, with even more impressive results.

Once again, I have to ask in frustration, why so many Sega Saturn games were not brought to the West? This is beyond baffling. Thank goodness we have import shops and internet downloads. History has been very kind to the Sega Saturn. Here is one excellent reason why.

Video - Virtua Fighter 2 (Saturn)

2010-09-09T14:05:00.000-05:00

Today is the 15th anniversary of the Sony Playstation's launch in the US. Today is also the Sega Dreamcast's 11th anniversary. Happy birthday, free cake and ice cream for everyone! Now here's Virtua Fighter 2 on the Saturn.

Why Sega couldn't properly follow up VF2 with another dozen high-resolution Saturn games is a bit of a mystery. Fighting Vipers never quite did it for me, Fighters Megamix was an interesting experiment, but not quite serious, and Anarchy in the Nippon (the best of the lot) never even left Japan. AM2 did produce Virtua Cop 2, which was outstanding, but that was it for the famed studio. Yu Suzuki was consumed with his Shenmue vanity project for years, and the studio struggled with not one, but two translations of Virtua Fighter 3. Ultimately, time ran out as Sega scrambled to the Dreamcast, which proved to be too little, too late.

The more I think about it, the more comfortable I am with the thought that Virtua Fighter 2 was the peak of the series. Yes, it's terribly unbalanced, and there is a definite pecking order with the characters. But this game has style, it has heart. It has panache. And it remains the most popular VF outside of Japan.

What is the Atomic Weight of Bolognium?

2010-09-09T10:23:00.000-05:00

Uh...is it, "Delicious"?

California public schools are inviting BP to help craft their envonmental cirrciculum. Joy. It's amazing to see the scale of the public relations control by BP since the Gulf Coast oil disaster. They really are working overtime to dazzle the peasants and keep the politicians in their pocket. I probably shouldn't be surprised by any of this. It's still unacceptable, and one more example of the deep-seated corruption in the American political system.

We really don't have time for this, kids. The candle is burning and time is short. We need to get off the oil now. Not tomorrow, not next week, not "whenever," but now.

“Less Ice Covers the Arctic Today Than at Any Time in Recent Geologic History”

2010-09-09T09:25:00.000-05:00

Yet another scientific study on global warming and the disappearing Arctic that will be ignored and assaulted by stupid and greedy bastards. The melting of the polar ice caps - once the domain of science-fiction dystopias - will become a reality very soon. Such a scenario was seen as, literally, the end of the world. But now? Silence.

Humanity continues to ride for glory in suicide machines. Your grandchildren will die for your stupidity.

China Surpasses US in Renewable Energy Market

2010-09-09T09:10:00.000-05:00

This is what complete domination by the fossil fuels industry will do to a nation. The United States is falling behind China in the energy race of the 21st Century. Moving to a post-carbon fuel future is not only essential for our survival, it's smart business.

Video - Christmas NiGHTS

2010-09-08T22:39:00.000-05:00

Here's a look at the spectacular Christmas NiGHTS on Sega Saturn. This was a special holiday-themed demo disc which featured an astonishing amount of replay value, and boundless surprises including CGI portraits, movie clips, promotional material, a karaoke mode, an artificial life program, even a cameo by Sonic the Hedgehog. The Saturn's internal clock also affected the graphics, based on the calendar year - Winter, Christmas, New Years, and Valentine's Day.

A spectacular achievement from Sonic Team's finest hour. Christmas NiGHTS should be required study for all game designers. This is how it is done!

German Military Study Warns of Peak Oil Crisis

2010-09-08T08:56:00.000-05:00

Climate Progress delivers the goods, as always. Shouldn't we be doing something about peak oil? Is civilization really going to do absolutely nothing? Really? This is absolute madness.

Sometimes I wonder if the suits in charge are greedy bastards or just painfully incompetent. Humanity is facing catastrophe on several fronts at once, and all as a result of our consumption of oil, gas and coal. What part of "get off the fossil fuels" isn't getting through? Is the money from these corporate behemoths that tempting? Are you willing to sacrifice your grandchildren on the altar of $2 gas?

Look to Russia, children. Look to Pakistan. When crop failures become common, when food and water become scarce, when the economies of the world are crippled by dwindling resources, then you will understand. But it will be too late. Your children will die for your selfish delusions and your greed. And they will know in their bones that you were warned for generations...and consciously chose to do nothing.

“Time is Running Out For Ourselves and Future Generations”

2010-09-08T08:44:00.000-05:00

So says Philippe Cousteau, grandson of famed Jacques Cousteau. We need to stop this endless pollution and burning of fossil fuels and tackle global warming. Time is running out. What part of this isn't getting through?!

Photos - Virtua Fighter 2 (Saturn)

2010-09-08T01:21:00.003-05:00

The greatest game ever made for the Sega Saturn. Virtua Fighter 2 was a spectacular graphics showcase that, in one blinding flash, reversed Sega's terrible fortunes, made the Saturn a contender, and challenged the unstoppable momentum of the Sony Playstation. It hasn't aged a day. Not one day.

Why do I still believe VF2 is the peak of the series? Perhaps because it was the one that left the greatest impact. It certainly was the most popular game in the franchise back in the day, back when it was still possible for rookies to learn the ropes and become fans. Good Lord, you could write a graduate-level thesis on the depth and complexities of Virtua Fighter. This is as close to studying an actual martial art as you can get in an arcade video game.

I've long tried to follow this series ever since the Saturn days, but I felt myself slipping behind. To put it another way, I felt the tournament-level players had grown too skilled, too difficult. The game itself had grown too complex, and the basic formula of rock-paper-scissors is being lost. Maybe I'm not interested in learning the nuances of multiple throw-escapes, or memorizing flow charts. Maybe my finger skills just aren't there anymore. At age 37, is this really a priority for me?

So I'll stick with VF2 on Saturn, thank you very much, where I have many warm memories and a belief that just about anyone can play, with only a little practice. The tremendous depth and strategy is still there, but it's not overwhelming. I don't feel helpless if I can't perform the Stun Palm of Doom.

Photos - Sega Rally Championship

2010-09-07T03:02:00.000-05:00

It's very hard to find quality Sega Saturn screenshots. I'm not quite sure why that is. The 32-bit generation is strangely overlooked by video game fans; it's too late for the classic gamers, and too late for the internet. Thankfully, I was able to score these outstanding photos of Sega Rally Championship in action.

Sega Rally is still my favorite arcade racing game of the past 15 years. It's just as beautiful and exciting as it was in December of 1995. I honestly can't think of any single title that I'd rather play by myself or with friends. Sega Rally on Saturn is a textbook example of how a fantastic racing game should perform - fast, immediate thrills, precise controls, spectacular graphics, and endless action. And the game is hard! Remember when video games were actually challenging?!

Also, call me an old grouch, but I still think the graphics are fantastic. I'm still amazed at the vibrancy of color, the painterly quality to the textures, the sharp details on the roads and hills and mountains, and especially the rock-solid speed of the graphics engine. Sega Rally is a crowning achievement for Saturn's 3D polygon powers. I still remember the one-two-three punch of Virtua Fighter 2, Virtua Cop, and Sega Rally at Christmas 1995. Why Sega couldn't duplicate those achievements on Saturn remains a puzzling mystery. Why were later Sega racing games so terrible? Daytona CCE, Manx TT Superbike, Touring Car Championship....yuck, yuck, yuck. None could hold a candle to Sega Rally. Isn't that weird?

Hardly any racing games are even made anymore. Only simulation-style games, in the vein of Gran Tourismo, are released by one or two publishers. The arcade fundamentals are completely lost. It's getting to the point where Mario Kart is a flagship racing game. Not to knock Mario Kart (the DS and Wii versions are excellent), but what the heck happened here?! To my eyes, the Cinematic Games Era has completely ruined video games. Everything is dragged down with bloat and excess, way too many cinematics or cut-scenes, and stupid, useless tutorials. Even Excite Truck, a relatively good racer, is bogged down by these faults. The very word "arcade" is seen as a snub to the $30 million video game crowd. Frankly, I think they're nuts.

Photos - Panzer Dragoon II Zwei

2010-09-04T16:23:00.001-05:00

Some excellent photos from the spectacular Panzer Dragoon II Zwei on Sega Saturn. Yes, I know the title repeats the number "two" twice...very strange. Easily one of Saturn's greatest games and a classic shoot-em-up with atmosphere, skill and depth.

The gameplay is a direct descendant of Space Harrier, only with the ability to rotate 360 degrees while flying on dragons. I enjoy how the game begins with your young dragon still unable to fly; you must run through your destroyed village, exacting revenge on various monsters and imperial ships. Later, in a thrilling dramatic moment, your dragon leaps off a great cliff, then glides down to the distant ground below.

The Panzer Dragoon trilogy (I'm only counting Team Andromeda's games on the Saturn) is a textbook example of creating a vast, richly conceived video game world. The fundamentals of the game - the precise controls and the fast, challenging action - are very, very solid. Andromeda was able to build this great world, with its many locations and surprises, only because they had already mastered the basics. They recognize that Panzer Zwei is an arcade shoot-em-up, and proceed accordingly. Cinematic cut-scenes and story are secondary priority. They are crucial in fleshing out this strange world, but they do not dominate.

This is the critical distinction between Arcade Games and Cinematic Games. In the Cinematic Era, the movie scenes dominate, and the actual video game is swept under the rug, forgotten. The "creative vision" of the director becomes the primary focus, and not the game player. I am not saying that this way is "bad" - this is simply a different paradigm. But I would argue that this paradigm has run its course; video games have lost their spark, their challenge, their immediacy, and their fun. The promise of deeper, richer worlds, the promise of games as a storytelling medium, has largely failed.

Panzer Dragoon Zwei is an excellent illustration of these two paradigms at the crossroads, Arcade and Cinematic. With the Arcade values in charge, the result is a classic game that continues to challenge and thrill. When Cinematic values are in charge, the result is a bloated, conceited mess, with little or no role for the game player. There are countless examples of this on Playstation 3 and Xbox 360, and even on Nintendo Wii (Metroid: Other M). The future of video games lies in a return to the Arcade values, to that immediacy and that excitement that classic games provided. The new paradigm - the Social Games Era - will take us there, but only if we embrace these values and return to our roots.

I can't think of a better time to get a Sega Saturn and Panzer Dragoon Zwei. Hint, hint.

Box Art - Panzer Dragoon in USA and Japan

2010-09-04T15:40:00.001-05:00

One of the key reasons - out of many - the Sega Saturn failed in the West was because of the hideous box designs and illustrations. In America, Sega used their hideously large plastic Sega CD boxes
, which must have been a serious challenge for the designers and illustrators. Legend has it that this decision was made because the company manufactured so many Sega CD cases, expecting that peripheral to become a smashing success. Obviously, that didn't happen.

The cover designs for the early Saturn games followed the aesthetic of Sega's other consoles at the time, with the system named in large letters on the side. This was never a good decision, and I was never a fan of the red Genesis boxes. I much prefer the older design, with the black grid and Genesis logo, laid over a VHS box. At least those games could fit into your media library comfortably. The Sega CD and Saturn cases just stood out.

Do I really need to say anything about the cover illustration for Panzer Dragoon? Of course not. It was terrible in 1995 and it's terrible today. To me, this says, "rush job," and that probably was the truth. Remember that Sega of America rushed Saturn to market several months early, in a desperate bid to stop the building momentum for Sony's Playstation, which at the time had ALL the buzz. Playstation was the hot new thing and all game players knew it. And Sega was burning its reputation into the ground with all those crummy machines. 32X felt like a mugging. Yuck.

Now let's look at the Japanese cover for Panzer Dragoon, and it's wonderful. Notice that Sega Japan used CD cases, which would soon become the industry standard. It's far more economical and compact, it fits on your shelf perfectly, and allows illustrators more freedom to create.

This cover was drawn by famed French artist Moebius, whose work was a great influence on Panzer Dragoon. You can see his influence on all three PD games on the Saturn. This is a rich world, full of mysteries and secrets that the games themselves only reveal in small pieces. You can see the vast potential for future games without ever running out of ideas. It's a shame that Team Andromeda is no longer around. Sega gave the series to their Smilebit studio for Panzer Dragoon Orta on Xbox, but it really wasn't the same experience. I know I'd rather play the older, chunkier Saturn titles instead.

The Japanese PD cover is brilliant. I want to explore this world. Even if I know nothing about the game itself, I'm interested. A skillful cover design can be a hook in itself. Too many publishers don't seem to understand this, and the result are many video games that fail miserably at retail. Who in their right mind doesn't want a kick-ass album cover?

Super Mario Collection Special Pack for Wii

2010-09-02T07:09:00.000-05:00

Now this is a surprise. Super Mario All-Stars, the 8-bit compilation on the Super NES, is set to be released on the Nintendo Wii in Japan on October 21. The extremely low price - 2,500 Yen - strongly implies that this will be a reissue of the SNES cartridge, but part of me really wishes for updated graphics ala Super Mario 5. That would make the game a monster success....let's see what Nintendo actually delivers.

Kirby's Epic Yarn - New Trailer Released

2010-09-02T07:02:00.000-05:00

The new Kirby game looks better and better. This may become the Yoshi's Island of our time. As always, my only wish is that the game isn't too easy, as Kirby games tend to be. Video games are always better when they're a tough challenge. The visual style is dazzling -- expect Kirby's Epic Yarn to arrive on many best-of lists at the end of the year.

Donkey Kong Country 4 - Here's the Cover

2010-09-01T23:17:00.000-05:00

Alright, I was hoping for a color-themed cover just like Super Mario 5, but this is an excellent design for Donkey Kong Country 4. Everything looks exciting and fun...and did you see our rhino friend on the left? Retro Studios never said whether or not the animal sidekicks would make a return, so this will be a very welcome surprise for the fans.

Kudos to Nintendo for moving Donkey Kong into the flagship position for the holiday season. It's fascinating to see this cascading effect of 2D Nintendo platformers. The runaway success of New Super Mario Bros DS led to Super Mario 5 on the Wii (the first 2D Mario on console since Super Mario World in 1991), and that in turn led to Kirby's Epic Yawn and Donkey Kong Country 4.

Remember that the 2010 flagship title on Wii was going to be Legend of Zelda. This speaks volumes to Nintendo's growing confidence in classic 2D video games. I have great confidence in Retro Studios to deliver an outstanding game, and I'm very impressed that they're adding new themes and ideas to the formula. This won't be a lazy rerun by any stretch, and for that, I am very thankful. All I ask now is that the game is challenging. Video games used to be hard, and we were all the better for it.

C'mon, Nintendo, let Retro make a 2D Metroid. I want a kick-ass, tough-as-nails classic Metroid, with old school arcade values and no stupid movie scenes.

Ubisoft Euro MD Alain Corre is Clueless

2010-08-31T13:55:00.000-05:00

I have no idea what this man is talking about.

The home console market is no longer supporting alternative products for big publishers, leaving only blockbuster titles to break the top ten and become profitable.

That’s according to Ubisoft Euro MD Alain Corre, who told GamesIndustry.biz that it’s safer to invest in one AAA title rather than hedge bets on a handful of smaller productions.

"The games that are not triple-A are not profitable anymore," said Corre in an interview published today. "And that’s changed in the last 18 months.

"When you have a triple-A blockbuster it costs more money to develop, but at the end of the day there’s also the chance of a good return on it because there’s a concentration at the top of the charts. To a certain extent it becomes less risky to invest more in a single game or franchise than spreading your investment between three or four games. Because if those three or four games are not at the right quality level, you are sure to lose money," said Corre.

"So the business model has changed and we’re changing our way of making hardcore games. With hardcore games that we’re not sure are reaching the right level, we stop work on them. And that’s why we concentrate more on key franchises, because that’s what the market wants - something new with huge quality production behind it. The market is not supporting the full range of product that it used to anymore."

Although the French publisher has brought new IP to market successfully this generation with Assassin’s Creed, Corre said that upcoming strategy game RUSE might be the last new franchise from Ubisoft until a new generation of home consoles, as establishing new brands is proving too expensive.

"It is more difficult now. To launch a new IP you have to invest much, much more marketing to establish it, and if you add up the huge costs of development plus the investment in marketing you cannot be 100 per cent sure the target audience you’d expect, which is needed for the comeback on the investment.

There once was a time when "AAA" meant quality. Today, it stands for outrageously bloated budgets - $30 million or more - on the HD Twins. That business model was never sustainable, and calls for yet another round of next-generation games consoles would only make things worse. The solution to a $30 million game that doesn't sell is not to make a $60 million game. Executives who can't figure this out don't deserve to keep their jobs.

And where does Nintendo fit into all of this? This whole rant makes no sense. The existence of the Nintendo Wii debunks every one of Mr. Corre's claims. Rayman Raving Rabbids, fitness games, and the Just Dance phenom are all from Ubisoft, and they are all very successful and very profitable. And Just Dance has become the poster child for online viral marketing on Youtube, Facebook, and Twitter. Are the suits at Ubisoft even remotely aware of any of this?

If the "hardcore" video game market is no longer sustainable, then let it go, and pursue the newer - and more profitable - social game market. This shouldn't be rocket science. There's no excuse for this kind of infantile whining to come from Ubisoft. I have no idea what this is about, and I have no patience for it. My advice is to keep Mr. Corre away from the executive liquor cabinet.