Conformity is Cowardice (The Stryper Sucks Mix)

(Originally written July 7, 2004)

First off, a few quick thoughts about the painting. This piece was created, like most of my computer-generated artwork, on Paint Shop Pro, using a various mix of nips, tucks, tweaks, and alterations. Much of it involves combining various graphical effects, while trying to keep a 'painterly' style. I don't want anything that looks pixelated; partially out of a sense of style, and party because I'd want these to look nice when blown up on paper of canvas.

This second "Conformity is Cowardice" simply the first one with the colors inverted. It just so happened to be yellow and black, so that's where the title comes from.

Ah, Stryper, the poster child for everything that was wrong about 1980s corporate pop. You see, it was a difficult time, when all common sense was thrown out the window, and America embraced one rediculously phony pose after another. Reality gave way to fantasy, the fat cats called all the shots, and the little people got the shaft. The Reagan Era, kids.

Seriously, everyone, pop music in the '80s was pretty bad. The worst of the worst was the fearsome plague known as...(dramatic pause)...Hair Metal.

Hair Metal was its own parody, a bizarre concoction of '70s glam rock, comic books, spandex, loads of hairspray, and every stupid cliche you could possibly think. High-screeching "singers," overly-flashy guitarists, drummers who spent more time twirling their drumsticks and winking at the cameras than actually drumming.

Every song fell into the same stupid categories: hey, look, everyone, we're rocking out! We're all dating models and actresses! I drive my flashy sports car down Hollywood Blvd. every night! Hey, kids, we're dangerous and rebellious, even though we wear more more mascara than Tammy Faye! And, yes, everything has an exclamation mark at the end; every photo was some phony, macho pose. Every video seemed to involve models being tied to cars or tent poles or cages; every song drowned in echo and reverb and way too many backup vocals.

Hair Metal brought out the Holden Caufield in anyone with half a brain, and it was torture to live through. Much like the Bush II Presidency, but with overpriced sound-and-light shows.

Somewhere in this tragic mix of Motley Crew and Poison and Whitesnake and Warrant and the Scorpions and Twisted Sister and Cinderella and Tesla, and too many other wannabees to mention, was Stryper. Now, this was an especially bad band, for all the above reasons, but they had a gimmick: religion.

Stryper posed as the "Christian" holy rockers in rediculous bumblebee suits. Ha ha ha! The yellow-and-black-attack is back! We're here to rock you! Yeah!! Ouch, somebody get me outta here.

Stryper gave us such great ideas as throwing small Bibles into the audience during their show. You know, that obscure work of Middle-Eastern literature; you may have heard of it. Stryper gave us such immortal anthems as, "To Hell With the Devil;" "Soldiers Under Command," "The Rock That Makes Me Wanna Roll."  And these are the songs that made the cut!

Didn't you love it when Stryper brought out their album, "In God We Trust"? Were they trying to be political with the dollar bill on the cover? You just feel sorry for them, because they couldn't possibly be trying to follow after the Dead Kennedy's and Metallica. That's like watching Tiny Tim play like Johnny Cash.

Losers. Stryper sucks. Bunch of phony corporate pretty-boy wanna-bees. Trying to turn religion into a corporate commodity just sealed the deal. You'd think someone would've pointed them towards Elvis, or Johnny Cash, or Aretha Franklin, or Bob Marley, or albums like Pet Sounds, A Love Supreme or John Wesley Harding. Heck, U2 was big in the '80s, and they've dealt with religion genuinely.

So, let's take a moment to remember Stryper, and remember that's what the punks and speed metal kids were rebelling against back then. Without Hair Metal and the Reagan Era, would we have had Husker Du, The Replacements, Dead Kennedy's? Socially concious protest music ala Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax? Don't forget rappers like Public Enemy, Run DMC, Sugar Hill Gang. All the real music was underground, plotting the overthrow, waiting for Saint Cobain to topple the whole fraudulant farce once and for all.

The moral lesson: Conformity is Cowardice. Stryper Sucks.

Future of Vinyl in a Digital Age

I discovered this excellent survey, "The Future of Vinyl in a Digital Age."  This survey is being conducted as research for a dissertation on the music industry.  I gave my typically over-lengthy answers to the questions, so I decided to share them here on the blog.

Feel free to fill out the survey and share your thoughts as well.  Enjoy!

4. Do you buy it at an online recordshop or a real recordshop or both? and explain your choice.

Minneapolis is blessed with a number of excellent vintage record stores, such as Uptown Cheapo, Hymie's Records, Roadrunner Records, and Treehouse Records. The circulation of rare and pristine albums is quite excellent, so with enough patience and dedication, you can find almost anything. There's a certain joy in searching for records, like digging through buried treasure. The discovery is as much a joy as the music itself. Also, there are many wonderful discoveries in the cheap, "dollar aisle."

5. Why do you buy vinyl instead of mp3 or cd ?

Analog music on LP remains the gold standard for recorded music. Think of analog as "high definition" music; and note that I specify "analog" because digital music is often pressed onto vinyl today, and this really makes little difference over CD. The analog sound waves are the key to the format's dominance. Dynamic range, depth of sound, the 3D space - these are what analog LP offers. A natural, lifelike reproduction of sound is possible, and this really becomes evident with more powerful turntables, phono cartridges, and stereo equipment. Finally, analog music feels more integrated; digital (cd/mp3/lossless) has a clarity that emphasizes separate instruments. It's like a car engine whose parts have been individually cleaned and polished. It's clear and precise, but lacking that sense of the whole. Does that make sense? Bottom line: analog is superior to digital. The world does not consist of zeros and ones. Life exists in the subtle spaces between the digits.

8. Do you think there's a future for vinyl in this digital age ? If yes what is your vision on this ? If no explain why not ?

You'll have to read my long answer to #9, which addresses this issue. Everything depends on the mindset of the music industry, which is to ask of them, is this a genuine LP revival, or a temporary and cheap cash-in? The analog LP is not just another market to dump the same digital files as CD and MP3. This truly is "high definition audio," and that must be respected.

Ironically, the futile arms race of "the loudness wars" is a golden opportunity for LPs. Compared to the horribly crushed, compressed low-fi haze of digital, high-definition analog has never sounded better. Simply sit someone down on the couch and play a Robert Ludwig press of Led Zeppelin II, or Jimi Hendrix's The Cry of Love. Play some classical or jazz, something with the depth and vast spaciousness that LPs are known for. Then compare this against the crushed, painful mush playing on the iPod.

Simply put, the format must be respected. Keen musicians are aware of this, and are creating albums in a purely all-analog format ("AAA"), even mastering exclusively for vinyl. The days of simply dumping a 44.1k CD master onto vinyl are coming to an end. Such cheap cash-ins sound terrible on any decent stereo system, and the market is discriminating enough to demand quality.

I don't expect the analog LP to ever be more than a niche market, a realm of the lucky few who know better. But this is how our Long Tail internet culture is evolving. TV sitcoms will always be more popular than Lenny Bruce or George Carlin or Bill Hicks. American Idol will always be more popular than Tom Waits or The White Stripes. This is a part of life. Hopefully, this Long Tail will remain profitable to sustain its niche scene for the forseeable future.
 
9. Do you think the real recordshop will keep existing ? If yes why ? if no why not ?
 
As long as there is a market for vinyl records, there will be a market for record shops. The major question is how long this current fad will continue. Sales of LPs are rising, and it's now expected for musicians to release their albums on LP (the smarter ones will continue to record in analog for LP). However, pressing plants have not built new equipment since the dawn of CD. The machinery is 25-30 years old, and that's going to become a greater concern, as repairs and maintainence become more and more expensive. Will demand for records increase to the point where new pressing equipment is built? Will a long-term committment be made by the music industry? Or will the "vinyl revival" fade? Will the analog LP finally fade when the baby boom generation dies?

Another concern is the hi-fi audio market. Manufacturers of audio gear continue to skew the wealthy upscale market, aging boomers who think nothing of spending $2,000 on turntables and carts. What does that leave the young college student, who's curious to discover LPs? The used market remains a fertile ground, and smart buyers can score excellent vintage tables for $100. On the down side, you're buying a 30-year-old turntable - the fact that these machines still perform is a miracle of engineering. But you're going to deal with aches and pains.

Today's modern turntables are horribly overpriced, and there's no excuse. Unlike digital music, analog LPs depend greatly on the proper equipment to unveil their brilliant sound. A cheap, plastic USB turntable will sound like junk. A vintage turntable, like my Sony PS-X5 (1977-79), will smash it to pieces. If you want a comparable sound from new hi-fi, you'll have to spend $700 for the Technics SL-1200 mkII, or $900 for the Rega P3-24.

Since most audio equipment is imported from abroad, the US market is vulnerable to price and currency fluctuations. Prices across the board have shot up in the past two years. This will be the major challenge to vinyl LP's long-term survival. The industry must nurture the younger generation, and respect the hi-fi audio realm. This is the challenge before the music business.

Theatre Chains Jacking Up the Prices on 3-D Movies

Brownie, yer doin' a heckuva job:

Beginning today, the Wall Street Journal reports that many major movie chains, including Regal Entertainment Group, Cinemark Holdings Inc. and AMC Entertainment Inc., are raising prices for 3-D movie tickets. It reflects the steepest price increase in a decade. 3-D ticket prices are rising by as much as 26% in some areas, though the average increase will be closer to 8%. The average increase for IMAX screens is 10%. Some theaters in metropolitan areas will be charging nearly $20 for IMAX admissions.

It's almost like Hollywood is daring us to download their movies for free. Remember when the music industry charged $20 for a Compact Disc?

At this moment in history, you couldn't pay me to be a Hollywood executive. Once enough kids figure out they can download Transformers 2 in a matter of minutes, instead of paying $15 at the multiplex....

Virtual Console Review - Fatal Fury 2, Fatal Fury Special

Fatal Fury 2 - SNK for Neo-Geo - 5/10

There were many copycats to chase the Capcom's coattails after Street Fighter 2, and none were more dogged than SNK.  They really were determined to become the kings of fighting games, and this began with the Fatal Fury series.  Now, I have to be honest here: I'm not a great fan of SNK's fighters.

Fatal Fury 1 was a clunker of a game; its only appeal was being the only Street Fighter competitor at the time.  It was a flashy showoff for SNK's Neo-Geo system, but simply awful in every other respect.  I think Fatal Fury 2 was a much better improvement.  Graphics, animation, and color are simply superb, a striking improvement over the original.  Characters are large and detailed, and the roster is expanded.  They figured out the appeal of The Hot Chick, and

Sadly, I still don't think Fatal Fury is very good.  It's average at best.  SNK was at their best with run-and-gun shooters like Ikari Warriors and Iron Tank and Guerrilla War.  When Neo-Geo launched, the focus quickly turned to Double Dragon and Final Fight clones.  With Fatal Fury, they began to learn fighting games from ground zero.

Street Fighter 2 is immaculately balanced, precisely timed, and built on a strong foundation of cause-and-effect.  Each attack has a proper counterattack.  It's this elegance that makes the game a classic, even today.  I have as much fun playing Champion Edition on the PC Engine as anything.

Fatal Fury still doesn't have this elegant balance.  It's still clunky and slightly choppy and a bit slow.  There still aren't enough moves, and the animation still comes up short.  And, really, that two-plane idea just doesn't work.  It never worked.  I'm really not having fun with this game, but I can see the improvements, which leaves me hopeful for later installments.

Fatal Fury Special - SNK for Neo-Geo - 6/10

Hmm, perhaps SNK would be wiser to jump ahead to Garao: Mark of the Wolves.  Now there is a truly great fighting game.  Most of the later Neo-Geo fighters are excellent, in fact.  There's Art of Fighting 3, Last Blade 1 and 2, there's Sunsoft's quirky Waku Waku 7.  Why not release those games, instead of the clunkier, chunkier early titles?

Fatal Fury Special is the third title in the series, more of a slight reworking of Fatal Fury 2.  I'd say it's the better game of the two, slightly more refined and polished.  I understand the fighting system has been completely revamped, introducing combos into the series.  It's a subtle improvement and it helps.  The number of characters has been increased as well, and you can already see the SNK roster exploding at the seams.

I'm still struggling to enjoy myself.  Perhaps I'm just not very good at this series.  But I'm perfectly fine with Street Fighter 2, and I'm perfectly fine with the latter Neo-Geo titles.  FF Special is still a learning experience for SNK, as if they were searching for Capcom's magic formula.  In all fairness, I don't think this is a bad game, and it is better than most of the hideous SF2 clones from the early '90s.  But everything you can level against Fatal Fury 2 can be leveled at Special.

Getting better, yet still not there.

2000-2009 Warmest Decade on Record

The World Meterological Organization has now weighted in, reaching the same conclusions as NASA.  The last decade was the warmest on record.

So, kids, let's check the scoreboard.  On one side, the Republican Party, the guys who gave you Weapons of Mass Destruction, Death Panels, and Obama's Birth Certificate.  On the other side, NASA, the guys responsible for landing twelve men on the moon.

The Wife Beater Defense

Republicans are employing the "wife beater defense" as incidents of violence increase in recent days:

Beck: You see, what they've done is they've radicalized The Man. These people are in the center, but who's down here? They know that these people always lose -- because they experienced it. The crazy teabaggers in the streets.

Why would a government continue to poke you, and poke you, and poke you, and poke you? Why would they say these things? Why have these people said these things about good Americans? Because they need to separate these people from these people. 

I'll keep that in mind after the next Timothy McVeigh detonates a bomb and kills innocent people.  The GOP has been whipping its base into a state of apocalyptic fear and loathing.  This is going to erupt in very real violence if it isn't stopped.

Photos - Cave Story on Nintendo WiiWare

This Monday saw the long-awaited release of what is easily the most anticipated title on Nintendo's WiiWare service - Daiske Amaya's Cave Story. This game is hailed as a modern masterpiece, ever since its original 2004 PC shareware release. Fans of sprawling adventures like Metroid and Blaster Master will be thrilled.

These screenshots come courtesy of Nicalis, the studio responsible for the WiiWare version. They have completely redesigned the graphics and music, new character designs by Amaya, and numerous all-new gameplay modes. I can't wait to get my hands on this game and see if it lives up to the hype.

A key reason for Cave Story's legendary status among gamers: Amaya-san designed and created the game entirely by himself, over a period of five years. This is a feat unheard of since the humble 8-bit days of the Atari 2600 and Commodore 64. That it was released as freeware is also remarkable. We will be hearing a lot more about Studio Pixel in the coming years. No question about that.

Virtual Console Review - Drop Off

Drop Off - Data East for PC Engine/Turbografx-16 - 2/10

What the heck is this?! It feels like a car crash involving Breakout or Arkanoid with Bubble Bobble. It doesn't even remotely work. This is a concept of a game that should never have left the test stage. Perhaps the problem is that you control a creepy eyeball instead of a paddle. That was a terrible idea. Most likely, the basic premise simply doesn't work, and it never will.

Drop Off is a terrible, awful, no-good video game. You have so many better titles available on Virtual Console. The PC Engine/Turbografx has many great games. This is not one of them. Please don't waste your precious money on this junk. Such a move is the textbook definition of waste, and the greatest sin in this life is to waste your precious time. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, dear readers.

I'm really only interested in writing these sort of reviews for completion's sake. I tell myself it would be nice to have a complete database of Virtual Console reviews. Any prospective book publishers should be impressed. Can I have an advance now?

Virtual Console Review - Digital Champs

Digital Champ - Naxat for PC Engine/Turbografx-16 - 2/10

This is the song that doesn't end...Yes it goes on and on, my friend...Some start singing it not knowing was it was...And then they'll start singing forever just because...This is the song that doesn't end...

I'm really beginning to think Devil's Crush was the only great game Naxat ever made. How else can I explain a clunker like Digital Champ? This boxing game is terrible. In fact, it's worse than terrible: it's mindlessly boring. I won't give out extremely low scores in my reviews unless the video game is somehow broken or unplayable, and such things are often subjective. But I say this game qualifies.

Digital Champ is a boxing game that appeared on the PC Engine in 1989. It should have stayed in Japan. This is a game so mindless, so dull, so lacking in tension or passion that it barely qualifies as anything more than a glorious 16-bit graphics demo. Yes, the large fighters were impressive at the time, especially when compared to NES/Famicom games. But shallow beauty fades; there's no depth beneath the surface.

Obviously, when any gamer thinks of boxing, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out immediately comes to mind. It's a classic game - fast, intense, challenging, fun. Digital Champ is like a mirror image; it gets nearly everything disastrously wrong. Punching is all button mashing and zero strategy. The opposing boxer shifts into the center of the screen, where they can be hit, sliding like a cardboard cutout. You can only throw high or low punches, and only angled to the center.

Moving or dodging is strangely sluggish. You have to press the joypad and then release it before moving. This renders strategy useless, since you cannot dodge incoming punches. You can try to bob and weave, but you're just shaking the camera around. And you can't throw punches when moving or devise combos. It's just tap-tap-tap. The computer opponent slides around, even moves into the background. So I'm reduced to tapping button and hoping he walks into the punch, like a cheap carnival attraction.

The worst offense? This game is agonizingly, dreadfully slow. One useless round grinds into another. My first opponent, a Rocky Balboa ripoff, took my endless barrage of punches, but he would never go down. After two or three rounds, I finally knocked him to the canvas. Count to eight, he rises again, and his strength is nearly full again. Augh! I must have punched this guy a hundred times, and he just gets back up and take a hundred more. Finally, after an eternity of button mashing, Rocky finally goes down in the 7th for good. Turn it off, off, OFF. Sigh.

Hudson did an excellent job bringing the US Turbografx titles to Virtual Console. Now they need to be careful about bringing the strongest PC Engine games, not the clunkers. There are still many great games - Gradius 1, Salamander, Twin Cobra, Tatsujin, Daisenpu, Raiden, Xevious, Image Fight...shooters, yes, but those were the PC Engine's bread and butter. I don't see what the hangup is. These are free rom dumps; it's free money. Please, Hudson, don't drop the ball now.

Health Care Reform: What's in it for Me?

Good question.  Here's a handy list of the immediate benefits of the new health care law.

Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee

The moral lesson of the day: Don't pick a fight with Barack Obama.  You may get in a lot of early punches, but he'll slowly wear you down, all the while waiting for the knockout blow.  It can be maddening at times to watch in real time, but there can be no doubt any longer this President is a resilient fighter.

Sullivan says it best:

It's called contrast and compare. If the bill becomes more popular, what people will remember is that the GOP did all they could to kill it, and every tea-party meltdown will be in the minds of voters.

Obama's genius is not attacking his opposition head-first. It is patiently assisting its self-destruction. First Clinton; then McCain; then Palin; now the GOP as a whole.

Photos - Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest

Yesterday, while adding the Virtual Console and Videogame Classics archives, I had to repost my essay on Simon's Quest.  I also snapped a number of photos for the old review, so now I'm giving them a proper "screenshots" post.

Castlevania fans thrilled that Dracula X: Rondo of Blood (PC Engine CD) is finally available on the Virtual Console.  I haven't touched the television set in a week (spinning records on my stereo is far better), but I have played the game and I love it.  Very stylish and artistic and deeply challenging; I especially love the early level where you walk through a devestated town, in homage to Simon's Quest.  Yeeeh!.

I highly recommend adding Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest to your Virtual Console, especially if you're a fan of NES action-adventure games like Zelda 2, Metroid and Blaster Master.

The Pump Don't Work 'Cause the Vandals Took the Handles

Vandals hurled rocks and bricks against a number of Democratic offices across the country, in wake of the passing of the historic health care bill.

I remember back during the 2008 Republican Convention in St. Paul, and some punk kids threw rocks at windows.  This completely justified an army of armored police and SWAT teams and proved that all protestors were violent anarchists.  Funny how times change.

Joe Biden Stimulates Economy With Flowing, Eloquent Rhetoric

Hah hah hah!  This is just too funny.  The nation's stand-up comedians are always thankful for you, Mr. Vice President.  Don't ever effin' change.

Stop Giving Us Heart Attacks

Fer cryin' out loud, Senator Baucus is going to give us all panic attacks.  Stop doing that!  Just pass the damn thing already and sent it to the President's desk.

Sometimes I think these politicians say these things just for kicks.