E3 - Wii Party

Wii Party is the latest installment in Nintendo's flagship Wii series, and fans of Mario Party should be thrilled, because it's very, very similar.  Heavens knows there are far too many party mini-games on the Wii, but this series has been outstanding from start to finish, and I expect nothing less from Nintendo.

There seems to be a strong emphasis on novel uses for the Wiimote, and that's a relief to see in 2010, when it seems as though the Wiimote's possibilities have been exhausted.  I expect Wii Party to deliver a few surprises, and keep me more physically engaged that I otherwise would be with Mario Party.  I also strongly suspect this game will be even better with shot glasses passed around...hehe hehe.... This could be the drinking game of the year.  Or it could wind up being a dud.  You never know about these things.

I was contemplating what it was about the Wii series (Wii Sports, Play, Fit, and Music) that I enjoy so much.  Then the realization hit me - these are Atari 2600 games.  No doubt that's something that more hardcore gamers would sneer at, and goodness knows these are the Nintendo games they love to hate, but it's that classic and iconic approach that attracts me.  I miss Atari games.  I really enjoy multiplayer arcade games.  And I'm so very tired of first-person-shooters.

Anyway, here are the only two Wii Party videos I could find on Youtube.  There aren't any gameplay videos yet, and there probably won't be.  The hardcore gamers have their attention directed elsewhere.  Don't let that bother you.  If the prozines slag on a Nintendo Wii game, that usually means it's good.  Let's hope for some really nasty reviews.

E3 - Sony Just Bores Me to Tears

Sony's performance at this year's E3 isn't nearly as dreadful as Microsoft, what with the elephant circus and the Kinetic and the shameless bribery of free Xbox 360s to the videogame press.  The best I can say is that Sony left me feeling bored and indifferent.

I really don't know what Sony's plan is, to be honest.  Like Microsoft, they have a larger agenda, and video games are only but a gateway drug.  Sony's scheme is to get us to buy expensive 3D televisions.  Good luck on that.  But they also want to chase after Nintendo, and the Wii's Expanded Audience.  This leads in the opposite direction, away from heavy technology and towards classic arcade games.  Doing so, however, risks the wrath of the "hardcore" gamers who support the Playstation 3, the same crowd who booed and sneered at Wiimotes for the last four years.

And so, Sony appears indecisive, overly cautious.  The Move is scheduled for a September release, but I still know next to nothing about the software lineup.  I'm still trying to find gameplay videos, trailers, or descriptions.  The only thing I've seen so far is...sigh...yet another rediculous ripoff of Wii Sports, and promises of the same exercise and dancing titles as Microsoft.

What is the point to the Move, really?  Controllers cost $50 each, which is good.  A package for existing PS3 owners is $99.  But the complete package, which includes the PS3 itself, costs $400, double the price of a Nintendo Wii.  So just who is the audience here?  Perhaps this explains the emphasis on Move controls for existing hardcore PS3 titles.  Those core fans are the only ones who are likely to afford the device.

Does Sony and Microsoft really expect families to spend $400 on their consoles?  Really?  I hate to sound like a broken record on this, but this is not how you break into Nintendo's turf.  This is a recipe for disaster.  And the games...ugh.  These guys don't have a clue how to make arcade games.  They're not interested in videogames, anyway - this industry wants to make movies and sell $2,000 3D televisions with $100 nerd glasses.

Meanwhile, Nintendo just unveiled a 3D handheld that doesn't require glasses and will likely sell for $200 or less.  That's the sound of an iceberg striking the hull of the Titanic, kids.  A FAIL for Sony at E3 2010.

E3 - GoldenEye Returns to Nintendo Wii

Now this will get the fanboys to show up in droves.  If Activision manages to capture the feel of Rare's N64 classic, then this game will be a smash hit.  Nintendo's grestest trade show presentation in living memory continues.

E3 - Here's the Just Dance 2 Trailer

Just Dance - hardcore gamers despise it, everybody else loves it.  Thanks to a brilliant online viral and word-of-mouth campaign, Ubisoft's groundbreaking dance title became the surprise hit of the past year.  And now it's become the newest video game fad, judging by the arrival of dancing games for Xbox 360 and Playstation 3.  And that doesn't even count the four new titles from Ubisoft alone.

Listen to the fans and ignore the haters, kids.  Just Dance is one of the Nintendo Wii's greatest games.  Now here's the eagerly-awaited sequel.  Just Dance 2 promises 40+ new songs, even more colorful and crazy costumes, a few more goofy Austin Powers riffs, and a wealth of new gameplay modes:

- Dancing Duets
- Just Sweat Mode
- Dance Crew Face-Offs
- Up to 8 Players

Just Dance 2 will be exclusive to Nintendo Wii, and is scheduled for a November release.  Expect Ubisoft to continue their path to world domination.  And expect the hardcore gamer press to continue to spazz out.

E3 - Kirby's Epic Yarn on Nintendo Wii

Nintendo is firing on all cylinders at today's E3 presentation.  Kirby returns to 2D platforming in spectacular visual style.  Kirby's Epic Yarn serves to prove, once again, why 2D video games are as relevant and inspiring as ever.  Nintendo has done more to preserve classic arcade games than anyone in this business - and that's precisely why they now dominate the market.

I can't wait to see the new Kirby in action.  This is going to be sensational.

E3 - Donkey Kong Country Returns on Nintendo Wii

This is one of the biggest surprises from Nintendo's presentation - Donkey Kong Country is back!  It looks like we have this year's New Super Mario Bros.  Retro Studios (of Metroid Prime fame) is responsible for the game, and they are determined to recapture the style of the Super Nintendo series.  It looks terrific, slightly rough around the edges, but I'm sure a final coat of gloss paint will make everything perfect.  That, and a cool red cover just like Super Mario Bros.

Nintendo is going to have a spectacular Christmas this year.  Donkey Kong, Wii Party, NBA Jam, GoldenEye, Just Dance 2....very impressive indeed.

E3 - Animal Crossing on Nintendo 3DS

Animal Crossing was my all-time favorite game on Nintendo DS, but even I have to admit the formula has become listless and stale.  The upcoming 3DS version promises new features and all-new graphics, so I'm hopeful that this simply isn't the exact same game recycled for the fourth time.

This time, you are the mayor of your town, and this may set up some interesting scenarios.  Hopefully, there are some new activities and new kinds of items and homes to collect.  The characters appear taller, and the layout.  Colors are lush and detailed and look wonderful.  This is another 3DS game I'll be watching closely.  I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

E3 - Pilotwings Resort on Nintendo 3DS

When I heard Nintendo had brought back Pilotwings for the 3DS, I wasn't sure what to expect.  To my pleasant surprise, this new installment is based heavily on the airplane portion of Wii Sports Resort.  Yeah!

The original SNES Pilotwings was a lot of fun at the time.  Pilotwings 64 was less enjoyable, but it did have a canyon drop in a hang glider that was spectacular.  Pilotwings Resort promises to perfect the formula.  This is a key title to watch.

Nintendo Reveals the 3DS - Let the Hype Begin

Nintendo revealed their eagerly-anticipated 3DS handheld today at E3.  This is the star of the show, surpassing even Microsoft's and Sony's new motion controllers, and it's looking very, very nice.  Nintendo promised a strong lineup of titles, including new sequels to Nintendogs, Pilotwings and Kid Icarus, and nearly all the major third-party players are on board.

Like most gamers, I'm excited and giddy at the sight of a new video game system, particularily one that promises cool new technology, in this case, 3D.

Thinking more rationally, I'm feeling a bit more ambivalent about Nintendo's new handheld.  It feels conservative, like Malibu Stacy with a new hat.  It looks almost identical to the existing DS models, only with a 3D display, analog controller, and two cameras for snapping 3D photos.  I'm sure the technology is an improvement as well, but it's in keeping with Nintendo's gameplay-over-graphics philosophy that titles like Kid Icarus looks like a Gamecube title.

I'm looking forward to seeing more details on the games and how they play, but what strikes out at me is that there is no original content.  Everything is a sequel to a sequel to a sequel.  Animal Crossing, Mario Kart, Pilotwings, Star Fox, Nintendogs, Paper Mario, and Kid Icarus, which seems to be the star title of the lineup.  Third-party titles are, likewise, more of the same games we played over a decade ago.  Yet another Metal Gear Solid, yet another Ridge Racer, yet another Namco Museum, yet another Resident Evil, yet another Sims.

I feel like it's 1990, and Atari Corp is still selling Asteroids and Ms. Pac-Man and Robotron and Xevious.  I'm tired of being asked to play the exact same games over and over again, with no discernable differences.  I want new games....remember new games?  Remember when video games were driven by innovation?

Where is the 3DS' Wii Sports?  Where is the must-play hit game that shows me that 3D is the future?  I'll be the skeptic here, if only for the sake of argument.  I think "3D" is a gimmick, a cheap trick to make us pay double for the same rides at the amusement park.  I had a Viewmaster when I was five years old, and it was impressive then.  I'm not so easily impressed now.

3DS needs some killer apps.  It needs some new games and new ideas.  The original DS handheld was amazingly inventive.  It really was a risky move, and it paid off handsomely.  Now it just seems like Nintendo is playing it safe, protecting the franchise.  The novelty of "Viewmaster 3D" will wear off, as all novelties do.  It's our nature as a primate species.  What lies underneath will determine the system's future.

Nintendo is expected to release the 3DS by March 2011.  Let's hope they have the big hits.

Just Dance 2 Coming in November

Just announced an hour ago at Nintendo's E3 presentation, which is superb.  Just Dance 2, 40 new songs, coming this November and exclusively for Nintendo Wii.  Track listings haven't been revealed yet, but expect Ubisoft to provide the details as soon as possible.

Nintendo was wickedly smart to recognize the strongest 3rd party game in their library.  Just Dance is a spectacular smash hit, and by embracing Ubisoft on their main stage, they are encouraging more of the same.  See, development community?  This is how you make a Nintendo Wii game for the expanded audience.  Ignore the disgruntled "hardcore" fanboys.  Their time has passed, and the video arcades have returned.  This game will single-handedly bury Microsoft's and Sony's motion controllers.

Please don't change a thing, Ubisoft.  We just want more songs, more humor, more goofiness, more intense workouts.  Oh, and Marcee is asking for Vanilla Ice.  I'm asking for Devo.

Microsoft's Epic Fail

Microsoft's heavily anticipated E3 show is a disaster.  As always, I am more than willing to give the Natal - now officially named the "Kinect" - the benefit of the doubt.  But everything I see so far leaves me with two simple words: Epic Fail.  The name is a joke.  The price, if early announcements by retailers are to be believed, is outrageous.  Nearly all of the launch games are shameless ripoffs of Nintendo's Wii Sports and Wii Fit, and Ubisoft's Just Dance.  Not one of these games is a hit.

Not one game has a hook.  There's no immediate "wow" factor, nothing that immediately grabs your attention and makes you want to play.  This is the essential trait to all classic video arcade games, and Nintendo's games have it in spades.  Kinect only offers cheap knockoffs.  It reeks of desperation and it shows.

If there are some real games for this Kinect, then Microsoft had better show them on Tuesday.  And they had better allow attendees to play for themselves.  Have you noticed that the on-stage demonstration was faked?  Milli Vanilli for the year 2010.  Microsoft spent how much on this thing?  And they expect to sell it for a $150 - in addition to the Xbox 360?!  They seriously expect us to pay that much?!  This is the biggest laugh to come along since The Gong Show.

For a long while, I've expected to see Sony bow out of the video games market, due to their enormous losses with the Playstation 3, the disastrous PSP Go, and the overall collapsing of the hardcore gamer market (all those PS2 owners seem to have disappeared).  And we still haven't brought up the outrageous production costs of modern game titles, which continue to skyrocket year after year without drawing in new customers.  This is a doomed business model, and Nintendo was right all along to face that unpleasant fact.

But now, I'm beginning to wonder if Microsoft is also vulnerable.  Just how much money has the company sunk into its Xbox enterprise over the years?  How much has been thrown away on the Natal project?  And how much money will be burned away if it fails at retail?  We're in the worst economy since the Great Depression.  No family is going to spend $400 to play Wii Sports.

What the Kinect needs are hits.  It needs a killer app.  What it offers is the worst video game lineup since...well, ever.  Like I said, it's still too early to make the call.  But this may be the worst.  Heck, even the Atari Jaguar had Tempest 2000.  Epic fail.

Atari Box Art - Star Ship

One of the original 1977 launch games for the Atari 2600 VCS, Star Ship quickly faded and disappeared, but I always thought it was a pretty good game.  The lunar lander game, especially, kept me entertained as a kid.  Of course, it can't hold a candle to the Atari arcade game, Starship 1, which features spectacular scaling effects.  That's probably why this title was pushed aside.  Oh, well.  At least the illustration is fantastic, and you can't take that away.  Why can't games today look like this?

Atari Box Art - Star Raiders

I'm a great fan of Atari's illustrations for their video and computer games from their golden age.  I really wish Atari Interactive or the original artists would sell poster-sized prints, because this is some spectacular artwork.

And Star Raiders....wow....Star Raiders.  It's impossible to explain to a younger generation just how astounding and groundbreaking this was when it was released.  It was the greatest and most sophisticated video game ever made, far more complex and rich than anything we had ever seen.  It's almost enough to make me want to hunt down an Atari 800 computer from Ebay to play the cartridge again.

The Problem is You

The biggest taboo for any American politician is to demand responsibility from the people themselves.  This is a nation of five-year-old crybabies.  They see their Presidents as all-powerful Daddies who are expected to magically solve everything, instantly and without any sacrifice.  "Daddy!  Gulf bwoke!  Fix it!!"

The last elected leader in this country who demanded responsible, grownup behavior from the crybabies was Jimmy Carter.  He told you to stop consuming oil, stop worshipping materialism, and put on a sweater.  And for that, he was practically tarred and feathered.

The crybabies want all their problems solved, but God help you if you ask them to take responsibility for it.  Whaah!! Whaah!!  I want my toy!!

You wanna do something about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico?  You wanna save the arctic ice and stop global warming?  Then stop consuming, stop wasting, stop polluting.  Give up your cars.  Give up your a/c units.  Give up your big-screen tv's.  Give up your red meat.

Fat chance on that.  The crybabies won't budge an inch, which means nothing will change, absolutely nothing.  And your children and grandchildren will suffer and die as a result.

Michelangelo and God's Brain

Now this is just about the coolest thing ever.  20 years ago, physician Frank Meshberger published a paper in the Journal of the American Medical Association which argued that Michelangelo's depiction of God in the Sistine Chapel - "The Creation of Adam" - was actually the human brain.  Was this, in fact, true?  Was the form of the brain subversively concealed?

Now another discovery has been made, by Ian Suk and Rafael Tamargo in the May 2010 issue of the scientific journal Neurosurgery.  They argue that the image of God in another panel, "The Separation of Light from Darkness", conceals an anatomically perfect rendition of the human brain and brain stem:

Art critics and historians have long puzzled over the odd anatomical irregularities in Michelangelo’s depiction of God’s neck in this panel, and by the discordant lighting in the region. The figures in the fresco are illuminated diagonally from the lower left, but God’s neck, highlighted as if in a spotlight, is illuminated straight-on and slightly from the right. How does one reconcile such clumsiness by the world’s master of human anatomy and skilled portrayer of light with bungling the image of God above the altar? Suk and Tamargo propose that the hideous goiter-disfigured neck of God is not a mistake, but rather a hidden message. They argue that nowhere else in any of the other figures did Michelangelo foul up his anatomically correct rendering of the human neck.  They show that if one superimposes a detail of God’s odd lumpy neck in the Separation of Light and Darkness on a photograph of the human brain as seen from below, the lines of God’s neck trace precisely the features of the human brain.

Michelangelo was one of the greatest geniuses of the Renaissance, a master of anatomy and light.  What subversive message was he trying to impart?  What was his secret agenda?  Remember that study of human anatomy was forbidden by the Catholic Church at this time; there was also the matter of Copernicus' assertion that the Earth revolves around the Sun, and the Protestant Reformation was in full swing.  And Michaelangelo himself had an increasingly rocky relationship with the Church as he grew older.

It's exciting to think that, 500 years later, we may finally be unravelling Michelangelo's great subversive mystery.  And it will no doubt fuel debate over God and the brain - the mystics and the atheists will both see their beliefs confirmed in these paintings.