I think you need the mindset (and humor) of a seven-year-old to laugh at these Dracula jokes. But absurdity and silliness for its own sake is something that I cherish. In the right state of mind, I'll be laughing hysterically. Heck, the whole notion of Count Dracula eating hamburgers is hilarious. And I enjoy the idea of bringing old-school sensibility to today's internet meme comics.
Okay, I've caved in and decided to post Dracula Eats a Burger comics on both blogs. This way, I can get them out faster, while I've still got the coffee-and-sugar-fueled sillies. I've just been in a strangely childish, Calvin and Hobbes sort of mood this week. Might as well go with it.
In case you haven't seen these comics on The Ghibli Blog, this comes from an obscure and laughably bad 1980 Toei made-for-TV anime movie called, "Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned." It may be the single worst cartoon ever made, and just about the funniest. It's certainly the most absurd. It's definitely worth tracking down just to see Count Dracula a) mug Brat Pitt and Gwenneth Paltro and steal their wallets, and b) walk into "Sandwich King" (wink wink) and order a burger.
In any case, the image of Dracula chomping down cheeseburgers captured the imagination of my inner seven-year-old, so I'm in a rush to create as many goofy comic strips as I can before my adult brain reasserts control. I hope I get a Hollywood movie deal outta this.
As I'm sure you already know, today is the day for the mass online protest against the SOPA bill working its way through Congress. This legislation, the creation of the MPAA, would give government and private industry the power to censor, block, or shut down any website suspected of "piracy" or "copyright infringement." Since the internet is based on sharing and connectivity of media, this pretty much makes the World Wide Web itself a suspect.
This is a disastrous piece of legislation, propped up by dinosaur industries and the authoritarian-minded politicians in their pockets. This is a profound threat to our liberties and our way of life. It's very simple. If SOPA passes, sites like The Ghibli Blog can be shut down. Hell, Youtube, Facebook, Reddit and Twitter can be shut down. SOPA could also be used as a tool of political suppression. People who criticize the government, or the ruling political party, could be shut down. Websites that embarrass politicians could be shut down. Do no doubt that these scenarios could happen. Expect it.
Call your members of Congress and demand that they stop this reckless assault on our rights. SOPA does nothing to stop online "piracy," and you know it. It will only be used by the powerful to beat down their rivals and their critics.
Call the Congressional Switchboard now -- (202) 224-3121. Then call again. Keep the pressure up!
I've been in a funk over the state of my stereo system lately. The sound has been terrible - muddy, distorted, low-res, nnothing worthy of the LP medium. I sold off some components, junked the turntable (a Sony PS-X5 that I've often liked or hated, but never loved), and tried to figure out where everything went wrong. It became so dire that I openly considered abandoning vinyl records altogether, and going back, at long last, to Compact Discs.
Then I discover something miraculous this week - a couple CDs of "needle drop" recordings from my beloved Sony PS-X75 Biotracer turntable from three years ago. The table was paired with a fiery red Dynavector 10x5, a Pro-Ject Tube Box II phono preamp with a pair of Mullard vacuum tubes, and the Marantz 2235b stereo receiver (now my only remaining component). And the sound was exhilarating, punchy, clear, deep, richly textured, full of color.
It's funny how one can forget these things. I had already realized that I was lost, musically-speaking. I was trading around in low-to-mid-fi audio gear on the cheap, never coming close to the former highs. I had forgotten what the high end sounded like. Now I have my lost recordings and I'm quickly remembering things. Now I have my purpose again - I have to get my stereo system back! The PS-X75 Biotracer! The vacuum tubes! The high-resolution analog sound! This is where the LP truly becomes master of its domain.
It's fascinating to see this "vinyl revival" emerge, as many people remember the wonderful music they lost, and many people discovering it for the first time. It's fun to see LP sales quadruple in four years, to nearly 4 million albums in 2011 in the US, while CD continues its endless slide into extinction. I think that's largely because I like to root for underdogs.
A lot of people interested in vinyl records want to know, is it better than CD? Is it worth getting a turntable and pulling out all those old LPs? Well, yes, it is worth getting a turntable and spinning some records. There's something magical about the experience, about the ritual, about the sound of smooth vinyl against a phonograph needle and lively, rich tones coming out of speakers. As to who wins the fight, LP versus CD, that's a little bit trickier. And the bottom line is that it's going to cost you. There's no getting around that fact.
On the LP-CD fight, I'd say compact disc wins at the budget or entry level. At $500, they become more or less equal. At $1,000, vinyl LP blazes away. And I'm talking the price of your entire system: turntable, phono cartridge, phono preamp, and amp. The vintage market is a gold mine if you know what to look for, but don't let nostalgia blind you; most of those old turntables on Craigslist and eBay are junk. The true classics - Technics, JVC, Pioneer, Kenwood, Sony - are worth the effort to discover.
Long story short: LP still kicks, you'll have to pay real money to find that out, it's totally worth the effort. Start saving your pennies. Oh, and enjoy the Youtube video of my old Sony Biotracer in action. You have to get one of these turntables.
I cannot fathom what is wrong with the geniuses in the music industry who conceived of the Loudness Wars. It's what you get when corporate idiocy collides with rock-star egos, who also just happen to be deaf. I know! Let's hyper-compress and crush our music to death! Then people will get ear fatigue and stop listening to our songs...and then...profit? The collapse of CDs can't be blamed solely on internet downloading.
I know the topic of the Loudness Wars has been harped on endlessly, so I'll keep this little sermon short by presenting a couple of waveforms as examples. The first waveform is my needledrop recording of John Coltrane's Sun Ship LP. I recorded with a peak volume of -3dB, which means three decibels below the maximum volume of the CD format. The second waveform is Megadeth's "Public Enemy No.1," from their newly-released CD, Thirteen.
It's pretty hard to appreciate music when it's literally crushed into a cube. And there's really no reason for it. It's especially frustrating because so many musicians and bands have recorded amazing-sounding music in decades past. For example, I've finally heard some vinyl recordings ("needledrops") of Megadeth's 1990 LP, Rust in Peace, and it sounds amazing - loud, crunchy guitars, a fully three-dimensional sound, solid vocals. It's really a jazz fusion album, in case anyone bothered to notice, and it shames today's brick-walled wrecks.
And Coltrane, well he's God's Gift to Mankind. Everything Trane recorded was miraculous. Wouldn't we all like to go back to that? Return to music that is recorded and mastered properly? Hi-fi music...what a concept!
Hey, the Nintendo Wii actually gets a good video game this year! Remember the Wii? It was extremely popular at one time. Then Nintendo got bored and quit.
Ahem, heh heh. Anyway, here's Namco's Go Vacation, by the makers of Family Ski and Snowboard. I've had my eye on this title for some time, and it's looking terrific. Yes, I know, I know, this appears to be yet another mini-game collection, for a console swamped with lazy, get-the-investors-off-our-back mini-game collections. But Namco is dead serious. They're gunning for Wii Sport Resort's crown.
The game features dozens of sporting events centered around a large island, which you are free to explore on land, sea or air. Four players can participate at once, although I'm not entirely certain if they can play different activities (which would be cool). Right now, my guess is that everyone has to play together, and that's perfectly fine by me.
This highlight reel shows a number of events in Go Vacation, like horseback riding and whitewater rafting. As I mentioned earlier, this is the same software team responsible for Family Ski and Snowboard, which is one of the more enjoyable family games on the Wii. Thank goodness that we can always trust Namco to deliver the goods. Now, if we could only get them to apologize for abandoning the Sega Dreamcast - where's my Tekken, ya jerks?!
At The Ghibli Blog, I promised to show more gameplay videos of Ni no Kuni from the Tokyo Game Show, and these two videos are absolutely perfect, and quite lengthy, too. I'm interested in hearing your impressions.
The game follows the old school RPG formula, with a few interesting wrinkles like day/night. When I see that, I'm obviously thinking of Minecraft. Will players have to battle monsters at night? That would be cool. I wonder if I could chop down those trees and build a house? Yeah, then I could build a train station and lay down some tracks, so I can get to....ah, whoops, wrong game.
The combat looks very interesting. This is an area where RPG game mechanics haven't changed in 25 years. It appears that instead of directly fighting, your characters can send pets who will do the fighting for you. Shades of Pokemon, but also the great Phantasy Star Online, and it does raise a lot of possibilities. Will you have to train your pet? Can they be bred and grown? Can they evolve into new forms? I think this could be the key element that could enable Ni no Kuni to break out from a very old and tired genre.
Yes, I know that Ni no Kuni has already been released for the Nintendo DS in Japan, but I haven't seen it, so I'm choosing to follow the PS3 version as a new video game. I'm looking forward to the surprises. Until then, I have Saturn, Dreamcast and Minecraft to keep me happy. But, hey, that's me. Enjoy the videos!
Happy Sega Dreamcast Day, everybody! On September 9, 1999 (9-9-99), Sega released the Dreamcast in the United States to a massively successful launch and rapturous welcome. It appeared, for a short time, that Sega was back on top after years of self-inflicted wounds crippled the company. Sadly, it would not last, and only 18 months later, Sega would exit the video game hardware business. Sega and video games have never been the same ever since.
I remember September 9 perfectly. I was working at my college job, waiting tables at the Dinkytown Pizza Hut, and when business was slow, I had one of the delivery drivers take us down to the nearest Target. I purchased a Dreamcast, a second controller, a Virtual Memory Unit (these were cool), and a stack of games. Which ones? Let's see...Soul Calibur, NFL 2K, Ready 2 Rumble Boxing, Hydro Thunder and Trickstyle. All games were fantastic, except for Trickstyle, which was a clunky, half-completed mess. I later returned it for Sonic Adventure.
Today, the Dreamcast is hailed as a classic, arguably the last true arcade videogames system. The game industry was pushing relentlessly into the domain of cinematic games, all in a mad pursuit of becoming Digital Hollywood. Add in an absurd amount of Playstation 2 hype (to this day, I still say DC was better), and the king-maker status of EA, and Sega was just not able to staunch the bleeding from years of financial mismanagement. It's really unfortunate, and you just wish there was a little more time.
I am a bit surprised to see that Dreamcast never really took off in Japan. Perhaps it was too similar to the Saturn, which was far more successful over there. Heck, Sega infamously killed off the Saturn version of Virtua Fighter 3, which was completed and headed to the pressing plants, because it was superior to Genki's somewhat lackluster DC version. And while the library of games was stellar, it really wasn't that much different from the Saturn, especially where shoot-em-ups and fighters were concerned. Also, I'm sure the Sony hype was just as deafening in Japan as in the West.
In any case, you can score a good-as-new Dreamcast and a stack of fantastic games like Soul Calibur and NFL 2K1 for the price of a single $60 retail video game today. That is a bargain, my friends. Enjoy!
Instead of writing single posts for every Sega Saturn title that grabs my attention, I've decided that I should group several short reviews together in a single post, so that we can speed through the system's extensive video game library more quickly. For this installment, we'll look at five titles from Saturn's most popular genre - arcade shoot-em-ups!
Dodonpachi - Cave for Saturn - 10/10
Oh, Yeehhhh! Dodonpachi, Cave's manic, bullet-hell masterpiece. The heaviest, loudest, fastest, most intense shoot-em-up ever created. It's such a wild ride, so gloriously and insanely over-the-top, so wildly colorful and luminous. This is the video game equivalent of Red Bull and Jolt Cola. And it's just about the most exciting game ever made for the Sega Saturn.
I don't even think you conquer or master Dodonpachi so much as survive. The very act of cheating death is a massive rush. How the heck did I escape that?! Literally every pixel on the screen is moving, flashing, firing, or exploding. And you're always caught in smack in the middle. This feels like a video game that begins where all the other shmups ended, and instead of retreading the same ancient cliches of the genre, cranks all the dials to maximum, gleefully reveling in the beauty of pure chaos.
Bulk Slash is a 3D robot arcade shoot-em-up for Sega Saturn that feels like the classic 2D shooters of the 16-bit era, fused with the 3D platforming paradigm of Super Mario 64. It's fast and smooth, sharp and clear, brightly colored, packed with futuristic cities and tanks and robots and massive explosions. Here is a game that embraces the magic of "replayability," almost like NiGHTS with guns. Here lies a textbook example of what makes the Saturn so great.
Oh, and Bulk Slash was also created by Technosoft. Sort of. Hudson formed CA Productions, the software studio, by stealing away members of Technosoft's staff for the twin PCE/Turbo-CD shooter classics, Gate and Lords of Thunder. I learned this recently, and it felt like a light clicked in my head. I had a nagging suspicion that Bulk Slash shared some secret connection to Herzog Zwei, in the robot that transforms into a jet, in the way enemy targets are protected by armored units. Turns out my hunch was right. I strongly suspect some members of the Herzog Zwei team were, in fact, involved in this game.
I love the variety of environments, missions, goals, and surprises in Bulk Slash. Early levels involve flying through cities, smashing everything in sight. Later levels involve escort missions, bombing runs, and run-and-gun missions through fortresses. Power-up weapons are hidden around and require you to march around carefully, instead of flying and blasting everything in sight. There's even a bit of a dating sim (a video game genre strangely popular in Japan), where you choose a young woman as your navigator, and proceed to impress her with your flying and shooting skills. Oh, and you have to actually find these women, too. I get a laugh whenever my navigator starts nagging me every time I get shot. I'm trying to fight a war over here!
It's interesting how the PCE and Saturn were the two great "lost" video game consoles, condemned to failure in the West, while thriving successfully in native Japan with mountains of great games. Thank goodness for the internet, I say. How many of these "lost" classics would remain lost without Youtube, message boards, online retailers and downloads? There are so many good Saturn games that you'll probably lose count, and if you're a collector, you'll likely never own all the titles. Make sure Bulk Slash is near the top of your list. It's a terrific video game and I can't recommend it highly enough.
