The Great Rodney King Beating of 2008

Just so nobody feels that I am unduly pessimisstic about what will be Rodney King Beating 2008 - otherwise known as the 2008 Presidential Election - here are but a few of the latest examples of how this works, and where the blows will come from.

Example one comes from the Clinton campaign, which has thrown its lot in with the GOP machine months ago....hell, some of us cynics have always put the Clintons into that camp. But we're cranks. Ignore us. Don't pay attention to the fact that Hillary Clinton is doing the Republicans' dirty tricks for them, and is even stooping to providing the slime themselves.

Hmm...I have to wonder. When she gets dressed in the morning, and she's washing her face and brushing her teeth, does Hillary have to hammer those horns back into her head? Bam-Bam-Bam-Bam! Get back down there! I'm just wondering. I wonder if the same thing happened when she was denied Prom Queen back in high school. Did she try to break the legs of her rival then as well? The problem, of course, is that we're the ones taking the blows as well.

Example two deals with the other major accomplice, our corporate news media. Call it propaganda, call it bullshit, call it whatever. Their job is to keep you dumb proles dulled and stupid and unaware of how bad you're really being screwed. John McCain is their boy, their Best Friends Forever with hearts over the i's.

Here's where the media one-two punch comes in and knocks you silly. The first punch involves ignoring or pretending to ignore anything McCain says that is, well, unpleasant. Pointing out his confusions over Shia and Sunni, for example, or his campaign's desire to peg any and all terrorism as "Al Qaeda," thus aiming to scare you stupid with visions of airplanes crashing into buildings.

In this example, the McCain campaign complains loudly that Barack Obama has distorted and lied about something McCain spoke about the economy during the Bush years. The only problem is that it's all completely true. Standard politics, we expect, and thank goodness for the internet for making it easier to spot the bullshit.

But don't expect most Americans to ever know any of that. ABC faithfully parroted the McCain version without a hitch. The same ABC that cracked the baton over Obama's head this week. Small world, that.

Example three. This is really the worst of the lot, the piling on of the bullshit. It's like watching the charging of the bulls in Spain, only there's no escape. This is where my fury at mumu-tailored stupid voters kicks in.

This will be the major smear against Obama, the point where most of the batons and sticks will come crashing down. Yesterday it was old pastors. After that it was flag pins. Somewhere back it was secret Islam belief, and schooling at a Muslim madrassa. Today it's Hamas.

By November, half the electorate will be convinced Barack Obama is an actual terrorist. Either he will be morphed into Hewey Newton, or Usama bin Laden, or Saddam Hussein (as was Max Cleland in 2002). Or maybe it's Hamas or some other group. No matter. Month after month, the Great Rodney King Beating of 2008 will exact its toll on Obama. The stupid dumbfucks that show up to vote won't hear anything more, and won't bother to look around. Because, you know, that involves things like, you know....reading. Reading is bad. Smart is bad.

Ooh! American Idol's on! And Tomcat's breaking up! What will happen to the baby? And Brittney's drunk again! Another white woman has disappeared! What's that? Lost your job? The economy is sliding into a Depression? Arctic ice melting? Uhh...I dunno. What's that? Ohh...I hear Obama's a ter'ist...or sum'thn.

Wake up, stupids. Get your acts together. It's your children who are going to pay dearly for this. Your grandchildren will stomp on your graves....before they go extinct. Wake up.